Hyper Hearts
by lucelafonde
Summary: Academy-fic. After getting involved in a bar fight, Pike punishes Kirk by enlisting him in the Interspecies Ethics course. That's Spock's class! Good thing Jim is an eager student and Bones is here to help.
1. Joys of the Student Life

When James T. Kirk first set foot in Starfleet Academy, someone told him this was the start of the best time of his life. Stupid notion, really. What was the point of doing anything beyond University if that was as good as it got?

But Kirk didn't say that. He just nodded, smiled and kept walking along those corridors.

"Hell of a lot of a difference to what I'm used to, I can tell you that," the man he had christened Bones murmured at his side. Kirk smiled. Now, that was a man after his own heart. As far as he had witnessed so far, the doctor was a miserable bunch of niceness gone to waste. Good. Jim could use neither a happy-go-lucky sort of fellow nor a notorious dickhead at his side.

"Looks like we have something in common there," he nodded and stood in line to let his information get processed, the other man never leaving his side.

"Ha! Well, I can deal with that," the doctor snorted. "But can you imagine just what space will be like? I prefer steady ground under my feet when I have to operate on a patient, thank you very much."

"It's not too late to turn back, you know," Jim nodded towards the line in front of them. "This might be your last chance to make a run for it. Sure you don't want to reconsider?"

"Told you I didn't have a choice," McCoy grumbled in dismay. "Doesn't mean I have to like it, kid."

"Your optimism is a delightful portrayal of your character, Bones," Kirk noticed just before he had his picture taken for his file.

"Yeah? Well-" he started peevishly, but was interrupted when it was his turn to look into the lens.

"Cadet Kirk, James T." an official looking woman standing next to them said. "You signed up for the Command track?"

"Sure did," he confirmed, throwing a brilliant smile at her. She entered something into her PADD.

And frowned.

"Excuse me, there seems to have been a mistake. This tells me you are completing the training in 3 years, but..."

"That is correct."

"Cadet, I hardly think you..."

"Lieutenant," a voice behind them suddenly said. Startled, Jim turned around.

"Captain Pike..." the woman tried to argue, but Pike silenced her raising his hand.

"If Cadet Kirk wishes to give it a shot... Who are we to deny him a unique experience?" The captain smiled warmly. "I saw to the scheduling of his classes myself. There should be no problem."

"Thank you, Captain," Kirk nodded.

"Don't disappoint me, Kirk," Pike said with a stern look. "I had to pull a lot of strings to make this arrangement happen. I have high hopes for you."

"I won't let you down, sir," Kirk answered honestly.

"Good. That's settled then. Any further problems, Lieutenant?"

"No, sir."

"Alright. I'm afraid I'll have to leave for an urgent meeting now, but be assured that I'll be monitoring your process very closely, Kirk."

"I would expect nothing less of you, sir," Kirk smiled and watched the man leave with a mumbled 'bureaucracy'. He exchanged a quick look with Bones that told him that the other man thought he was completely out of his mind, but he slightly shook his had at his inquiringly raised eyebrow. There would be time to discuss this later. Meanwhile, the Lieutenant was speaking again.

"And you are McCoy, Leonard. An MD, I see. Medical track?"

"Of course. What else would I be doing?" Bones asked irritatedly.

"Do you wish to share a room? You should be finished in the same year," she said professionally, but she couldn't quite hide the small smirk forming at her words.

Anger started to rise in Jim, but he put a hold on it. He would show her. By the end of the next three years everybody would know his name. The boy from Iowa who made it through the Academy in three years. No longer 'the hero's son'. James T. Kirk, wonderboy.

"What would I do without the man who threw up on me in a shuttle? It was love at the first sight!" Kirk smiled and put an arm around McCoy, successfully transferring some of the bile still sticking to his shirt and trousers to him.

"Now wait a damn minute-" the doctor started, but he never got to finish. Jim simply put a hand over his mouth and accepted the two PADDs the woman was handing them. He only released McCoy when they were well down the corridor.

"What was that?" the doctor asked, clearly irritated.

"Well, I figured since you were going to submit to my charm eventually anyway, we might just skip the pointless arguing. Besides, you still owe me a drink for that shuttle-stunt," Kirk answered while staring at his PADD, which was showing them where their room was located.

"And what if I didn't want to share a room with you? Suppose I didn't even like you!" McCoy said, but he didn't really mean it, Jim could tell. He was just angry at the world and took every possible chance to make sure everyone was aware of it.

"Aw, don't say that, Bones. You're hurting my feelings," Jim pouted overly dramatic. "It should be down there." He pointed to a corridor to their left.

"You keep calling me that, kid. It's not my name," the other noticed.

"Don't you like it?" Kirk asked cautiously.

"It's not that-"

"Then don't complain. It fits you infinitely better than 'Leonard'," Jim shrugged. "And what else would you have me call you?"

"Fine, fine," McCoy grumbled. "Call me whatever the hell you like. If it makes you happy."

"It does. Here," Jim said, opening a door.

They stared into the room for a couple of seconds before Bones finally sighed.

"Let's just hope you're better at commanding a starship through infinite space than finding your own damn room, kid."

Jim followed McCoy out of the closet, all the while reassuring the doctor that the information on the PADD had been wrong and that his sense of orientation was excellent.

If Bones found their quarters through the same guide at his first try rather than sheer luck, he didn't mention it.

#

"Now that seems like an overreaction-" Jim started, but Captain Pike interrupted him mercilessly.

"I had expected the days of your reckless bar fights to be over when you signed up for the Academy, but obviously, I was wrong," he said, glaring at the two men standing in perfect military posture – despite the blood running down their cheeks and noses – in front of him.

"Not only did you show a blatant disrespect for regulations and a clear streak for attracting or causing trouble – you also got another cadet involved in your destructive behaviour; a less than reassuring look into your future as a starship captain. What do you have to say in your defence?"

"He didn't get me involved-" the other man tried to explain weakly.

"Silence, cadet McCoy. The question was not directed at you."

Pike observed the two men intently. The medical student seemed uneasy, clearly burning to say something in his friend's defence, but the Captain wouldn't have it. If Kirk had something to say, he'd have to do it himself.

"I'm waiting," he emphasized when a minute had passed and the blond still hadn't uttered a word.

"I apologize," the Cadet finally said and his friend visibly relaxed beside him. "You asked what I had to say in my defence. I have nothing, so I chose to remain silent."

Cadet McCoy definitely looked like he was either about to strangle the other man or faint from the sheer shock of his statement now.

"Are you out of your damn mind?!" he yelled at his partner. "Why aren't you telling him-"

"Keep out of it, Bones," Kirk interrupted him with a warning look. The doctor grumbled a few curses, but remained silent otherwise.

"Is this your final answer, Cadet?" Captain Pike asked. "Your friend seems very eager to deliver an explanation."

"With all due respect, sir," Kirk said, throwing a quick glance at Bones who now stood perfectly still, unhappiness clearly visible on his face, "But Cadet McCoy was not the one you asked. I would like to keep him out of this conversation, if at all possible."

Captain Pike's gaze travelled between the two men in front of him. Then he sighed and abandoned his place on the desk in favour of the chair behind it. He sat down and entered something into his computer. The cadets exchanged a confused look but said nothing.

"As of 0200 hours today, you are officially a student of the Interspecies Ethics course," Captain Pike declared after he had finished typing. He got up again and walked around the desk until he was standing directly in front of Kirk.

"Sir?" the Cadet asked cautiously, not flinching away.

"It appears you have too much time on your hands, Cadet," Pike explained. "I would have thought 4 years' worth of studying compressed into 3 would be enough to keep you busy, but it is very obvious to me now that I was wrong. You will finish this course, Kirk, and you will pass it with flying colours, or so help me God, I WILL have your ass for this."

Bones and Jim looked at the captain in shock respectively. The blond recovered first.

"Sir?" he asked weakly.

"I vouched for you, Kirk. I told you not to disappoint me. I suggest AGAIN that you don't." He considered the man with an assessing glance before sighing, "Dismissed."

Just as the two cadets had made it to the door – not quite fleeing, but almost faster than light in their strolling – he addressed them again.

"And Jim," Pike said to his back. "I'm only doing this because I know you haven't told me the whole story. I have trouble believing you would simply walk into a bar and beat up the person next to you for no reason other than being bored. Why you would choose not to tell me your true motives is beyond me, but I will let it pass this time. JUST this once, Kirk. Don't let it become a habit."

He watched the man he had spoken to tense, then nod and leave the room. The other one, McCoy, lingered for a bit, looking like he was about to say something; then, seemingly changing his mind, he hurried after his friend.

Pike sighed. Stubborn like his father.

#

"Why didn't you just tell him that you saved me?" McCoy asked angrily when they were back in their room again. "If you hadn't shown up, I'd be lying in a coma in the medical station now!"

"He didn't need to know that," Kirk said simply and dropped down on his bed like all his energy had suddenly vanished.

"And why not, you goddamn idiot?!" Bones yelled. "Because heaven forbid someone find out you're actually a good guy?"

"Bones," Jim sighed and closed his eyes. "Those guys were angry at you because you put their drug abuse into their medical files when they showed up in the clinic. As far as I'm concerned, they're already on the verge of being thrown out. We don't need to add to that."

"You're a hopeless moron, aren't you?" It was McCoy's turn to sigh now. He sat down beside Jim on the bed. "You didn't want to ruin their future."

"Don't know about you, but I for one don't think 'completely incapable of accepting own failures as that instead of blaming others for own shortcomings' would look too good in anyone's file," Jim chuckled lightly.

"So you're adding to yours?" Bones asked softly as he took out his medical equipment from the nightstand.

"It's really not so bad, Bones," Jim assured him. "So I get one more class. Big deal. You've seen my schedule. It hardly makes any difference anymore."

"Ah," the older man said impassively in sudden understanding while fidgeting with the dermal regenerator before drawing it over a cut on Jim's cheek. "You don't know about the Vulcan then."

"The what?" Jim asked surprised. "Why is that important?"

"Because," Bones chuckled, "He is the instructor of that course and a damn pain in the ass if the number of students passing out from the stress of his coursework is any indication."

"You're kidding," Kirk said, horror written all over his face. He had put a hand on McCoy's to keep him from moving it along his cheek for a second.

"'fraid not, kid," Bones smiled sympathetically. "Bet you wish you'd just busted their asses now, huh?"

#

"Bones, where is my PADD?" Jim yelled from under his bed into the bathroom. "I need it like RIGHT NOW."

The doctor lazily made his way to the doorframe, a towel wrapped around his waist, another in his hands with which he was rubbing his hair dry while answering.

"How the hell am I supposed to now?" he asked. "I'm not your damn- Wait."

He walked to the closet, threw a couple of shirts out and eventually handed the PADD to its rightful owner.

"'You're not my damn' WHAT, Bones?" Jim chuckled as he put his boots on.

"Oh, shut up, you ungrateful little-" the doctor yelled after him, but never got to finish because while Jim was still busy pulling his shirt over his head, he was already running out the door and to his first lecture.

A lecture he had almost missed, were it not for the fact that Bones had woken him up with a surprised 'What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be on your way to that Ethics thing?' when he had come home from his late shift in the Academy clinic.

Well, Jim thought, I'm not going to miss it at this point, but I'll certainly be late.

He hurried down the halls filled with students whose lectures had either just ended or were about to start, but unlike them he wouldn't make it in time. This class was at the very end of the campus, as far from his quarters as structurally possible. Jim thought for a second that that – coupled with the fact that it's one of the earliest classes available - might have been one of the reasons why Pike had assigned him to this particular one. That and the 'pain in the ass' instructor, as Bones had called him.

The very same who was looking at him like he had personally wronged him now. Jim hadn't even realized he had burst through the doors until he had noticed the eerie silence that suddenly engulfed him.

He cleared his throat uneasily, allowing the panic to overcome him for exactly three seconds. After that time had passed, he put on his most charming smile, strolled cockily towards the instructor and turned to the other students who were overtly staring at him now.

"What?" he asked and looked down on himself for a second. "Never seen an attractive guy like me before? Must have forgotten to turn my charm off when I left my room this morning." He threw a winning smile into the ranks and was rewarded with bouts of giggling from various girls.

Not that he particularly cared, but at least now the deathly silence had been broken, and he felt a bit more at ease when he heard the speculating murmur rise above his head. He didn't worry when people talked about him in his presence. He worried when they didn't, because that was usually when bad things happened.

Finally able to relax, he turned to the instructor beside him.

Big mistake.

If looks could kill, Vulcans would have patented the ability ages ago. Seeing this one, Jim had to mentally check they hadn't to be sure. He was nervous again, but this time he wouldn't show it. As far as he knew, Vulcans were a race that was built almost entirely on foundations of mutual respect and logic. Showing weakness was not logical, Jim was certain of that.

They eyed each other for a few seconds, neither of them making the first move. Jim felt like a sitting duck being assessed before it got shot. He didn't enjoy the similarity.

When it became obvious that the Vulcan wouldn't break the silence first – because heaven forbid he would make this easy on Jim – the blond took a daring step forward and held up his hand in a perfect Vulcan salute. He didn't trust himself to get the pronunciation of the native wording right, so he settled for an apologetic smile and a whispered 'Peace?' instead.

"James T. Kirk, sir," he added loudly, still not lowering his hand. "Captain Pike enlisted me for this course."

The Vulcan didn't move for a very long time. Jim could tell it was long because his fingers hurt worse than a bunch of thumbscrews would have by the time his instructor seemed to finally have pity on the man trying to make amends.

"Commander Spock," the Vulcan introduced himself and raised his hand in the same manner Kirk had. "You are late, Cadet."

"I am," Kirk nodded, willing his hand to stay where it was. Spock still hadn't lowered his, and Jim knew a test of power when he saw one. If he gave in now, the Vulcan would never respect him again.

"Excuses?" the sharp voice demanded, but Kirk almost hadn't heard it. He was too busy trying to stare the other man down. His object wasn't to win over the alien; everybody knew Vulcans had insane control over their bodies. If Spock wanted to break Kirk, he could do so without any effort on his part. Jim was pretty certain the Vulcan could stand and stare at him like this for hours - perhaps even days - if he had to. No, he had to bring the Commander to respect him, that was the trick. And if Jim had to endure a lot of pain now and even more grumbled curses from Bones later... well, he would just have to deal with that.

"I have none, other than my human physiology making me susceptible to oversleeping," Kirk explained, his eyes never leaving Spock's.

The Vulcan continued his statuesque observation of him before he finally lowered his hand. Jim almost sighed with relief when he followed this example, but he controlled himself. He was so close now, he couldn't risk losing the slowly forming respect of the Vulcan through such a careless action. Jim thought of all the cadets complaining to Bones about the instructor in the clinic. He suddenly wondered whether they had been forced to endure this Vulcan form of torture too.

"Captain Pike has informed me of your presence," Commander Spock stated. "Sit down, cadet."

"Aye, sir," Kirk nodded and hurried to an empty spot in the front row. He would have preferred to sit further in the back, but apparently he wasn't alone with that thought, so the only free spaces available were almost close enough to reach out and touch one of those skilfully crafted ears.

Jim violently shook his head.

No way, Kirk, he told himself. You're not going there.

But even as he was thinking it, he felt his resolve crumble away when Spock leaned down to enter something in his PADD lying on the table and the regulation tight pants showed off just WHAT he was trying to deny himself.

Well, Jim thought. If you're going to do this, you might as well do it right.

#

"And what have we learned today, Jim?" Bones asked patronizingly while bandaging his right hand in his clinic room.

"Not to challenge Vulcans with their own culture," Jim answered dutifully as he watched his friend do his work.

"Damn right, you won't," Bones mumbled. "When did you learn doing that anyway?"

"Last night, after you told me my instructor would be Vulcan and you left for clinic duty," Kirk shrugged. "I figured I might as well walk in prepared. And it paid off!"

"Why do I have the feeling that if your hand could talk it wouldn't agree with you?" Bones sighed, entering something into his PADD. "Damn stupid, if you ask me. You should try and pretend you're not even there, not attract unnecessary attention to your idiocy."

"Hey!" Jim protested in mock hurt. "I won, didn't I?"

"No, you didn't, dumbhead!" McCoy told him angrily. "You unleashed the goddamn Vulcan! Don't you know that he'll be up your ass every goddamn minute now?!"

"Well, I certainly hope so," Jim smiled as he remember HIS ass.

Bones looked at him in horror.

"You DIDN'T," he whispered, clearly horrified.

"Didn't what?" the younger man asked innocently, fluttering his eyelashes.

"Don't give me that bullshit!" McCoy yelled. "You went and developed a crush on the green-blooded hobgoblin, didn't you?"

Jim never got to answer because just then a nurse (whom he recognized as Christine Chapel – good old times) walked in and interrupted their conversation. Kirk seized the moment and stealthily extracted himself from the room, but not before Bones could yell 'Don't think we're finished here!' after him.

Jim smiled. Big softie that he was, Bones could always be counted on. Even if the Vulcan ended up breaking his heart or – more likely – his ribs, the doctor would be at his side, grumbling curses all the way through the mending of either the organ (with brandy) or the bones (with bandages). That in itself was comfort enough to give it a fair shot, Jim thought.

He honestly hadn't noticed the very Vulcan himself standing approximately six feet in front of the door he had just come through. Not until he walked straight into him, that was.

Their shoulders clashed painfully, and Kirk winced. His whole body was still sore from the bar fight yesterday, especially that part of his anatomy as it had made close contact with a wall, a table and the floor of the establishment.

"Sorry," he mumbled and proceeded to walk away whilst rubbing his abused shoulder. This was harder than it should have been because of the bandage on his right hand Bones had just applied.

"Cadet Kirk," a voice behind him noted, and he abruptly came to a halt. No way.

"Commander Spock," he said and made a face before he turned around to face the man he had just run into.

"You seem to have an uncanny ability to attract trouble," the Vulcan said matter-of-factly.

"You can hardly call running into someone 'attracting trouble', sir," Jim almost-but-not-really pouted.

Spock merely raised an eyebrow at his bandaged hand.

"Oh," Kirk said flatly. How was he supposed to explain THAT? He could hardly admit his own pride had forced him to sacrifice the satisfying usage of his hand for another two days a mere 20 minutes earlier.

"You entered my class today already wounded. Now you seem to have acquired another injury. The logical assumption to make is-" Spock tried to explain, but Kirk interrupted him.

"I didn't know Vulcans 'assumed'," he said, and he knew instantly that he had hit a nerve.

"Indeed," the Commander said, and his face suddenly seemed... cold. Kirk didn't know how to explain it, since the man hadn't looked exactly friendly before, but now a shiver ran down his spine, and Jim fought the urge to run.

"Doesn't mean they shouldn't do it every now and then," Kirk offered. There was no reaction. He wasn't even sure Spock was breathing anymore. Had he broken him?

"You were right, by the way," he continued as he slowly stood in front of the other man. "I DO have an 'uncanny ability to attract trouble'."

"Indeed," Spock said simply, but something about his shoulders seemed a bit more relaxed now. Just a fraction, but Jim noticed it nevertheless. He felt daring all of a sudden. Something – he couldn't explain what – told him the Vulcan was open for a conversation.

"So we have now established why I'm here," he said, gesturing around the clinic. "What drives a strong Vulcan like yourself to the deepest pits of hell?"

Spock was just about to answer when a shout from inside the room they were standing in front of was audible.

"I heard that, Jim!" Bones yelled. Spock looked slightly startled (for a Vulcan – which meant he barely raised an eyebrow, but it was there), and Kirk could sympathize. He too hadn't expected anyone to listen in on them.

"Erm... Sorry about that," he offered weakly. "That's my friend. He thinks what he does MATTERS." He yelled the last part facing the door.

"I'll remind you of your cocky attitude next time you need a hypo for a space STD, you careless little-"

Spock really didn't need to hear that. Jim had grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the clinic faster than light – faster even than Bones' curses.

"And that would be my worse half, Bones," Jim introduced the man still inside the building. "He thinks he's better, but don't listen to him. It's obvious that-"

He stopped when he noticed Spock wasn't even listening. The Vulcan was staring very intently at the hand Jim still had wrapped around his arm. A few seconds passed in which neither of them moved.

Was that another power game? Who would give in first? Jim wasn't certain and because he knew Vulcans were insanely touchy about... well, being touched, he let go. Carefully, slowly. He didn't want to startle the other man. He felt like he was dealing with a wild animal, but that was ridiculous, of course. He almost laughed at himself for being so foolish.

"So... Do you-" Jim wanted to ask him something, but Spock was gone almost the same instant he had released his grip on him. Perplexed, the blond looked at the now empty spot in front of him. Did Vulcans invent the warp drive? He would have to look into that, but not today. Today, he had to write one hell of an assignment for none other than the man who had just left.

Sighing, he made his way back into the building and opened the door to the room he had abandoned only minutes before, ignoring the patient now sitting in his old spot.

"Bones, are you up for drinks tonight?" he asked wearily. The doctor gave him a stern look, telling him just how much he appreciated being disturbed when he was working, but nodded nevertheless.

"About damn time, if you ask me."

#

"Shouldn't you be doing your homework?" McCoy yelled over the loud music. The club they had chosen was one of the few they were still allowed into, and the doctor suddenly wondered just when exactly he had allowed the kid to interfere with his alcohol intake.

Jim snorted and downed another shot. Leonard tried to remember how many he had had before that one, but he too hadn't been idle, so doing the maths was harder than it should have been right now.

"Finished everything this afternoon," the younger man finally explained as he gestured the waiter to bring them substitutes for the empty glasses around them.

"Really? Even the one for the blasted Vulcan?" McCoy asked, impressed. He nodded a thank you to the Andorian waitress and took one of the vials in his hand. He scanned it with the pocket tricorder he always took with him because he was a doctor, but more importantly because Jim was allergic to pretty much everything and he considered it his responsibility to keep the guy alive.

"God, Bones, you're such a mother-hen," Jim complained, taking the drink from his hand before he was done determining its composition.

"And you are reckless, idiot," he snapped, wrestling the vial out of his friend's grip before he could drink it. "Do you remember how we found out you could be allergic to a drink?"

"Yes, mother," Jim sighed and leaned back into the cushions. He liked this bar. It was a bit farther from the campus than the others, meaning it wasn't crowded and less people looking for a fight showed up here. Besides, it had dishy personnel. Jim grinned. That waitress had given him a look, he was certain.

"There you go," Bones grumbled as he handed him the pink liquid. "You do realize it would be easier for both of us if you'd just stick to one drink all night, right? Not to mention the hangover you could avoid."

"Jeez, Bones, aren't you fun this evening!" Jim rolled his eyes. "Had I known you'd be such great company, I'd have skipped the homework and come here with you straight away!"

"You wouldn't have dared, doofus," McCoy replied. "Risk making your precious Vulcan angry? No way. Ouch!" He swore as Kirk kicked him under the table.

"He's not MY Vulcan," the blond pouted. "And anyway, that's got nothing to do with anything. You heard Pike. I have to do this. He might even kick me out of the Academy if I don't."

"Pike wouldn't do that," Bones said surprised. "He loves you. You're like the son he never had! He wouldn't throw you out for not acing a course you don't even need for your command track."

"Maybe," Jim shrugged vaguely. "But I wouldn't count on it."

"All right," the doctor sighed. "I'm certainly not gonna tell you not to take this seriously, kid. Although I admit I'm a bit curious."

"Really? How so?" Kirk stretched lazily on the couch he was sitting on and winked at a girl on the other side of the bar that had been staring at him for quite some time now.

"Well, you obviously don't wanna talk about Pike or your coursework, so there's really only one thing you could have wanted to discuss with me when you dragged me here," Bones elaborated. "And you usually don't – and I don't mean that in a bad way, really. I'm glad you don't, so don't get any wrong ideas about this, right? - but you usually don't talk to me about your love life."

Jim almost spit out his drink at that, but he managed to preserve at least a tiny fraction of his pride and swallowed it down.

"Bones!" he whined accusingly. "I don't... I'm not... There is NOTHING-"

"All right, keep your pants on, kid," Bones chuckled, clapping him on the back a couple of times until the last bits of the drink were out of his airways and he was breathing normally again. "I'm not saying there's really anything to talk about, but you seem anxious to do so anyway."

Kirk said nothing. He sat there in silence and listened to his best friend's babbling, but his thoughts were elsewhere. He was right, of course. He HAD wanted to talk about this, but he didn't know how to. He couldn't understand it himself, but something...

At first, he had been certain it was just physical attraction, and really: who could blame him for that? The Vulcan was hot, everybody knew it. It was like an open secret in the Academy. He spent all afternoon overhearing conversations about the man, his appearance, and his demeanour without looking for it. Had he always been such a hot topic? How could Jim not have noticed the guy unofficially voted 'hottest piece of ass in the Academy' until he had stumbled into his lecture room? He was the only Vulcan on the campus so how Jim could have missed him was beyond him.

Well, not entirely. The Commander was apparently – like all Vulcans – insanely private and never left his quarters for anything other than lectures or meetings, so stumbling over him would have been odd, Jim guessed.

And yet that was exactly what had happened only hours before. He still didn't know what the instructor had been meaning to do in the clinic, but, considering his hasty departure, Jim was certain that whatever it was – he hadn't got to do it. He could almost kiss himself – almost – for being the reason.

Kirk wasn't an idiot. In fact, he was everything but. He knew something he had done had shattered that Vulcan control in some way. Should he not have touched him?

The problem was that while Jim appreciated getting under his skin, he didn't know whether it was in a good way or not. He certainly didn't want to anger his soon-to-be-new-conquest. He could think of better ways to go than being crushed by a Vulcan.

Not any Vulcan. This one.

Jim almost sighed. Yes, at first it had been physical. Or at least that was what he'd thought. But he'd been wrong. He'd realized his mistake as soon as the lecture had begun. He'd done his very best to convince himself that Interspecies Ethics was boring and unnecessary for his track.

Only it wasn't. One word out of that delicious alien mouth in his 'you better listen or you're gonna have a bad time' lecture-voice had been enough to keep Jim hooked the entire lesson.

It wasn't physical. When he had turned around one last time before leaving the class for the day, he saw the Commander pack up his things while explaining something to an Efrosian student, and he had had to fight the urge to knock the girl out right then and there. Shocked at this thought and disgusted with himself, he had fled the building. It had taken him almost 10 minutes to calm down enough to visit Bones in the clinic.

No, it wasn't physical. Or at least not exclusively. He was feeling jealous and possessive in a way he never had in his whole life. He'd never had a long-term relationship before and never wanted one. Except... now he did. A cold shiver ran down his spine. He didn't even know the guy. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Earth to Jim, come in, Jim," his friend's voice suddenly intruded his thoughts.

"Hm?" It took a lot for Kirk to focus on the man in front of him once again.

"Thank God, I almost thought you'd gone into an allergic shock or something," Bones said, half-joking.

"Sorry, I was just thinking..." Jim murmured.

"Yeah?" Bones snorted. "That's a first. What about?"

Jim hesitated. Should he tell him?

He violently shook his head to get rid of that thought. Where had that even come from? This was his best friend he was thinking of lying to. Bones would understand. He always did. He'd make a couple of snide remarks, come up with a dozen Vulcan-specific jokes and then offer either advise or alcohol until the problem had been solved, one way or the other.

"The Vulcan," Jim admitted slowly.

"Yeah? Does your mysterious Vulcan prince have a name to?" Bones asked, but it was soft and with concern in his eyes.

"He does..." Kirk nodded. That was another thing. He didn't like using or even thinking his name. Somehow doing so was making his whole misery even more real. Everytime it popped into his head – unasked for, he thought bitterly – his heart began to stutter and he felt oddly hot. Perhaps desensitization would help.

"Well?" Bones pushed gently. "What is it?"

"Spock." As he said it, he could feel the symptoms he had feared to experience rise inside of him. Unwelcome images of the lean muscles - hidden beneath the black shirt - and the alien ears that made Jim itchy to touch them, flooded his mind. Good going, boy, he thought. You are so screwed.

"Okay," the doctor said simply and leaned back on the couch. "Wanna tell me just how bad it's got you?"

"Wha-" Jim wanted to protest, but something in McCoy's eyes told him it was a lost cause; the doctor had seen through him. "How did you know?"

"Kid, even someone who doesn't know you as good as I do would be able to put two and two together," Bones sighed. "First you wreck your hand trying to impress a guy you just met, then you drag me to a bar in the middle of nowhere to discuss things you are too anxious to talk about, and as soon as you mention his name you space out and your pupils dilate like you're on Rhuludian crystals and your hands start shaking to the rhythm of your elated heartbeat. I don't need my medical scanner to figure that one out, but I'm sure if I use it, it will tell me to give you something to calm your horses down, boy."

They stared at each other in silence for a long time before Jim was finally able to pull himself together again.

"Wow," he eventually groaned. "Am I really that obvious?"

"Painfully so," his friend nodded seriously, but he was smiling despite himself.

"And what's so funny about that, huh, Bones?" Jim asked, his pride hurt.

"Nothing," the doctor replied slowly. "Just never thought I'd see the day James T. Kirk falls for someone this crushingly hard. 'Starships are my only true love', my ass."

"Oh, shut up, Bones," Jim hissed and threw a cushion straight at his friend's face.

"Sorry," McCoy laughed and reached over the desk to playfully pat his companion's head. "Anything I can do to help you?"

"You could find out some things about Vulcan physiology for me," Jim suggested as casually as possible with his most innocent smile in place, the one that had won over more than its fair share of girls.

"I'm not going to-" Bones immediately started arguing, but Kirk raised a hand to stop him.

"Not like that," he calmed his friend down. "I'm gonna find out about that myself." He grinned, suddenly self-assured again. "I just need some info on a couple of things that might be considered to be a cultural taboo."

"Like what?" Bones asked cautiously. He didn't trust that smile one bit.

"Like touching them in a completely non-sexually-harrassing manner, for one thing," the other elaborated. "I touched his arm today and he was gone faster than a ship entering warp 10."

"Hm..." The doctor seemed to think about it for a moment. "I don't know, Jim. I mean Vulcans obviously don't like being touched, what with their telepathy and all that, but since he hasn't ripped your arm off..."

"You think it was something I thought?" Jim asked in horror. Had he...? No. No, he was absolutely certain he hadn't been thinking about anything that wasn't meant for this Vulcan's mind.

"Probably not," Bones shrugged. He was obviously not concerned, so Kirk allowed himself to relax. His roommate would tell him if he'd fucked up, that was one thing he could always count on. "In my opinion it was most likely just the touching-thing that freaked him out. I'm not even sure Vulcan babies get touched after delivery, they're so damn wound up. That's probably why their planet is so hot: to make up for the iciness they radiate."

Jim laughed as his friend kept going on about how 'damn illogical' the 'whole bunch of them' were in all their 'mighty stick-in-the-assness'.

Nevertheless, Bones promised to look up what he could on Vulcan physiology, but he warned Jim that it probably wouldn't be much. They were a ridiculously private race and never revealed more than strictly necessary, something that made the older man angry in a way Kirk had often observed when his roommate had come home in the middle of the night, mumbling about how 'damn stubborn' some 'idiots' were when they didn't tell their doctor something he should know about in order to help them.

It was a professional thing, Kirk mused. Bones didn't care about other peoples' secrets. He did care about losing someone on his operation table though, and incomplete information about a species was just as dangerous as hiding the consummation of illegal substances. That was something the doctor had tried to tell the guys who later beat the two of them up, but they wouldn't listen, of course. Jim hadn't even tried to quell the hot anger overcoming him when he'd found them hurling his friend halfway across the room after he had saved their lives (as it turned out, the stuff they'd been sniffing was laced with substances poisonous for humans).

He carefully put a finger on his left eye and winced. It still hurt like a bitch. Looked good, too. It was of a radiant violet-green combination that clashed violently with his red uniform. Bones wasn't looking any better. He smiled. At least like this everyone would know they'd been in trouble together. Jim hoped that that would keep any other unhappy patients from laying hands on his friend. Bones despised violence of any kind, he hadn't chosen to become a doctor for nothing, after all. He loved the man dearly, really, but he was shit in a fight. Jim decided to instruct him in hand-to-hand combat so he'd at least stand a chance to get out of one conscious.

"Does it still hurt?" Bones asked suddenly.

"What? This?" Jim laughed. "Nothing I couldn't handle. My hand, however..."

"That's what you get for trying to impress a bloody Vulcan. Serves you right, idiot," Bones muttered and ordered another round.

"Love you too, man," Jim yawned and closed his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

He would never admit it to his friend, but the very first thought intruding his mind the next morning was 'Bones was right'. He winced as he tried to move from his bed. Big mistake.

For more reasons than one, as it turned out. When he finally managed to turn his head, he was greeted with the sight of the Efrosian girl that had dared to ask Spock a question the day before.

Well, Jim thought, no one could blame him for holding a grudge.

He stretched lazily, careful not to wake the girl up and glanced at the clock beside him.

"Shit", he murmured and practically sprang from the bed. He hastily put on a pair of pants he found lying on the floor and rushed out of the room before he could grab a shirt too. Just in time, it seemed. As soon as he opened the door, the doctor was standing face-to-face with him. Jim grinned.

"Hey, Bones", he said, blocking the entrance. "You're back early."

"Jim, it's almost noon", McCoy frowned. "And I'm always home at this time, you know that."

"Do I?", Jim pretended to think about it as he scratched his head. "Sorry, must be the alcohol. You don't happen to have anything for that, do you?"

"Don't I always?", Bones sighed, but rummaged through the med kit he was always carrying with him when he came back from the clinic. "Nope, looks like you've used my last one. I have some more inside-"

"No!", Kirk almost yelled and hastily moved forward to finally close the door behind him. "You don't want to use that. That stuff's... for emergencies. I think it's better if we go to the clinic."

Bones looked at him like he'd just grown a second head.

"I just CAME from the clinic", he explained like he was dealing with a very annoying child. He probably was. "I'm not going back there. I want to sleep. You kept me up all night last night with your blasted whining about the goddamn Vulcan. Like handing tissues to a lovesick teenage girl."

"I'm not a-", Kirk started to argue, but Bones just muttered 'Yeah, yeah' and tried to push past him. Jim wouldn't give an inch. His roommate frowned.

"Jim", he said very slowly. "In case you haven't noticed, I'd like to go in there."

"Let's get some coffee!", Kirk unceremoniously announced and tried to pull his friend away, but Bones wouldn't budge.

"Jim", he finally said, slowly. "Who's in there?"

"That-", he thought about denying it for a second, but he knew a lost battle when he saw one. Bones knew him too well. "That is a very good question", he eventually admitted.

"You don't know who she is?", McCoy asked disbelievingly. That was a first, even for Jim. Usually he at least knew their names. Actually, come to think of it, Kirk had an excellent memory concerning names and faces. Why was this one different?

"Well, to be fair", the topless man held up his hands in defence. "I do know she's in my Interspecies Ethics class."

"Oh, you do, don't you? That's all right then", McCoy said in mock approval.

"Don't give me that look", Jim whined.

"I'm not giving you any look. I'm giving you a goddamn lecture if you don't come up with an explanation in 3 seconds."

"Actually, I wanted to ask you about that", Kirk admitted. "I don't remember hooking up with her at all. Didn't I go home with you?"

"With me?", the doctor laughed. "No, kid. When I told you I had to leave because I had clinic duty in the morning, you just waved me off and told me not to worry, you'd be 'fine' without me. Should have known that would backfire, but you wouldn't let me drag you out. You're too damn stubborn when you've had a drink."

"You left me there on my own?", Jim asked in disbelief.

"Don't blame me", McCoy frowned. "I told you I tried, but you wouldn't go. You were pretty pissed. In both senses of the word. Kept mumbling something about 'over my dead body' and 'bitch won't get him' or something. To be honest: I stopped listening after the waitress brought me the receipt. How could you even drink that much? You owe me more than one, kid."

"You let me leave with the girl that tried to flirt with Spock", Jim crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I think we're even."

"No way!", Bones looked at the door, then Jim, then back again, and laughed. "That's her?"

"Yes, that's... Wait a second", he frowned. God, his head hurt so much. Never again. Never. Again. Alcohol was evil, when would he finally learn that? "How do YOU know about her?"

"How do you think?", the doctor rolled his eyes. "Jeez, you really were drunk, weren't you? How you didn't pass out is a mystery medicine can't solve." Jim kept looking at him suspiciously. Bones sighed. "You told me, idiot. In fact, you described her in so much detail, I think I'd be able to distinguish her from every other Efrosian in the whole damn galaxy."

"I told you", Jim said flatly. That was not good. He had absolutely no memory of this part of their conversation. Or the girl in his room. Who knew? Perhaps he'd wake up in his own, empty bed in a second and everything turned out to be a bad dream. He pinched himself. No such luck.

"Yes, you did", the doctor sighed warily. "Look, I'm glad you got over the Vulcan so quickly, but I'd really love to enter my own damn room right now. Or at least soon. Could you be so kind and throw the mysteriously nameless girl out now?"

"I'm not over-", Jim said angrily. He composed himself immediately. People didn't call him a hothead for no reason, but he was working on it. "I don't know what happened, Bones. I mean it. I have no interest in that girl. I don't even know her name!"

"Well, then I suggest you either find out or get rid of her for good", the doctor said while his eyes were roaming over Jim's face. Kirk knew that look. It was his 'I'm doing medical observations, idiot'-look. "Or do you want me to do it for you?"

Gee, Jim thought, I must be looking worse than I thought if he offers to do THAT.

"That would be awesome, thanks, Bones", he grinned and clapped his friend playfully on the back. "Now I owe you one."

The younger man decided it would be best to leave before the doctor got the chance to change his mind, so he left in a hurry.

Stupid idea.

He noticed something was off when the first people overtly stared at him. He wasn't new to the obligatory 'hey, he's hot' or 'look, George Kirk's son!' staring. This was different. He realized why when he walked into a sculpture.

The second he perceived it wasn't a statue he'd run into, but a very annoyed looking Vulcan he cursed himself for choosing the easy way out and letting Bones always handle his problems. That wouldn't have happened had he simply manned up and told the girl he had no interest in pursuing anything beyond what they had already done with her.

Next time I'll be wiser, he thought as he straightened himself under the scrutinizing look of the Vulcan.

"Commander Spock", he acknowledged when it became clear the other one again wouldn't be the first to break the silence. "I apologize. I didn't see you there."

"Obviously", came the short reply. Ouch, Jim thought. That was colder than expected. Perhaps Bones had been right. Vulcans DID radiate iciness. At least this one did.

"Yeah, well...", Jim shifted uncomfortably. The commander still hadn't taken his eyes off his chest. "Sorry."

"Cadet Kirk", the Vulcan finally said and Kirk almost sighed in relief. Anything was better than the icy silence. "Are you aware of the regulation stating that students of Starfleet Academy are to wear their full regulation uniforms at all times when they are representing said Academy?"

"Of course, sir", Kirk frowned. What was that about?

"Are you or are you not currently representing the Academy, cadet?", Spock asked further.

"I-", Jim stopped. Oh no. He didn't...? A quick look down his bare chest told him that he did. In all his panic to get away from the nameless stranger in his bed he had forgotten to put on a shirt. Or shoes, for that matter, but he doubted that they were the reason Spock was looking at him like he'd just told him he looked like an Orion dancer.

"Furthermore, this is the SECOND time you have crossed my way in this manner", Spock looked at him sharply. "Do your eyes need medical treatment, cadet? I know you are aware of the excellent medical facilities on this campus, seeing as your friend is stationed in one of them."

"My eyes are functioning perfectly, sir", Kirk assured him, standing even straighter than before now. Oh god. Don't panic. That's what he wants. Stay calm. "And they're telling me yours are too." He could have hit himself.

Apparently, so could have Spock. The Vulcan looked like he hated Jim almost as much as he did himself in this moment.

"I didn't-", Kirk desperately searched for words as he frowned at his own stupidity.

"My eyes are functioning adequately, cadet, and they are of no concern of yours", the commander interrupted him coldly. Despite his lack of clothing, Jim had been warm before. Now he seemed to be freezing.

He shivered slightly and put his arms in front of his chest.

"Glad to hear it, sir", he finally admitted and focused a point above the Vulcan's left shoulder.

Spock's gaze didn't waver. Kirk nervously licked his lips. This almost certainly wasn't worth whatever the Vulcan had to offer, but he couldn't help himself. Even as he was victim to those scrutinizing eyes, he knew if he allowed himself to linger on them, he wouldn't be able to look away.

"My roommate is currently parting from a girl in our rooms", he explained eventually, careful not to lie since a tingling in his mind told him the Vulcan would notice it in an instance. "I left in a hurry and apparently neglected to put on anything else. I apologize for my appearance. It won't happen again."

Spock still didn't move. Kirk felt like they'd been standing there forever when the Vulcan finally took pity on him and relaxed his stance the tiniest fraction of a bit.

"You have nowhere else to go", he noticed. Since it wasn't a question, Kirk didn't answer. The commander slowly turned around and silently gestured Jim to follow with a movement of his head. He continued talking as they were making their way towards another building. "Since you obviously cannot be allowed to further disgrace this Academy, you will stay in my quarters until a sufficient amount of time has passed and you can return to your own to cover yourself."

Kirk stopped moving in time with the sudden lack of beating of his heart. Was this a dream? The pump resumed doing its work, and fast. His hands started shaking slightly and cold sweat was breaking out on his forehead. Do not fuck this up, Jim, he told himself. This is your chance.

"Problem, cadet?", Spock had turned around and raised an almost concerned eyebrow.

"No", Jim quickly assured him and resumed walking. "I'm just cold, that's all."

"Hm...", the commander mused and tilted his head slightly to the side. "You do seem to be experiencing symptoms of temperature induced distress."

Kirk realized he must be referring to the goosebumps along his arm. A clever lie, he thought. And I can even back it up.

"The floor is pretty chilly", he admitted, and that was the truth. "Bones definitely owes me a drink for that one", he joked.

"I am surprised doctor McCoy would let you leave your room in your present state. Not only do you seem to be suffering from the consequences of a fading intoxication, you might also catch a cold from your current lack of undress", Spock noted. He raised his eyebrow. "Is he not your physician?"

"Yeah...", Kirk shrugged. "Well, I guess he had other things on his mind this morning." He winked. It was a good thing Spock turned around at that because like this he couldn't see Jim facepalming himself.

"Indeed", the Vulcan merely said and after that the uneasy silence was back.

Kirk thanked all the gods he could think of and didn't believe in for the fact that Spock's room wasn't far now. Less than two minutes had passed when he finally stepped over the threshold into the overly warm quarters of his instructor.

While he was busy trying not to look too obvious when checking out Spock's quarters, the Vulcan disappeared into an adjacent room, leaving Jim alone with his observations.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected, really. Perhaps nothing at all. Either way, had he thought about it, this would not have been the picture he'd imagined.

Like all instructors, Spock lived alone. In addition to the classic bed- and bathroom combination the cadets had, he also had the luxury of a completely isolated living room. Kirk inspected the paintings and sculptures on the wall with awe. He'd never thought of Spock as one of the sentimental ones, but everything in here was clearly of Vulcan origin and well taken care of.

There was a couch at the far wall and a small table with two chairs opposite it. On top of the table was a Three-dimensional chess set. Jim shouldn't have been surprised at that, seeing as Vulcans took great pride in being logical and all that, but he was. It took two people to play chess, after all. Kirk doubted any computer could possibly pose a serious challenge for Spock.

If the game had surprised him, this came as a shock. In the right corner of the room was another chair and on top of it an instrument. Jim openly gaped at that. No way did the Vulcan play. Kirk grinned at the thought. Now that would be a sight for sore eyes.

He heard more than saw Spock leave the room Jim suspected to be his bedroom and turned towards it. The Vulcan handed him a sweater, which Kirk thought was unnecessary, given the temperature in here, but took it anyway because he suspected Spock no longer was concerned for his health but more for the covering up of his naked torso.

"Thank you", he said as he pulled it over his head. It fit perfectly. He grinned. "Do you play?", he asked and pointed to the chess set. "I mean of course you play", he added hastily because he could see Spock was about to argue with him about the logic of such a statement, given the set was standing in his quarters. "What I meant was: will you play with me?"

The Vulcan observed him for a moment. "I have been awarded the title of Grandmaster", he finally said matter-of-factly. Jim frowned. Why did people always underestimate him? "I trust this will not be a problem, given your performance in Tactical Analysis?"

Jim could have broken out in song, but he contained himself. Instead he played it cool and lazily strolled towards one of the chairs. "Yeah", he yawned, trying to look like this wasn't a big deal. "We should be good."

Spock clearly wanted to retort something, but he decided against it. Instead, he quietly sat down opposite Jim and offered him white. The cadet accepted and they started playing in silence.

* * *

"It seems you have won this round, cadet, despite your earlier loss", Spock remarked and observed the board in front of him.

"Yeah, that was pathetic, all right", Kirk grinned. Spock had wiped the floor with him, but obliged when he had demanded a rematch. Now that he knew Spock's game, he was prepared to take the Vulcan any day. It felt good to finally see something akin to interest sparkle in the commander's eyes when he looked at Jim. He clearly hadn't expected Kirk to play the way he did.

"You seem to have recovered admirably", he replied. "Although your tactic is highly illogical, I find I cannot dispute the outcome."

"Thanks, Spock", Jim smiled honestly. This had been fun. So much fun, in fact, that he had completely forgotten about his crush for the man in front of him. Now that the game couldn't distract him anymore, the full power of the alien figure so close to him threatened to overwhelm him. The midday sun was falling in on them through a window and Jim stared mesmerized at one particular beam caressing the long Vulcan fingers which were almost unconsciously playing with a chess piece.

Jim swallowed hard and forced himself to look up into the dark eyes again. How could they look so human? And then he noticed. Carefully, he nodded to a picture on the wall behind Spock.

"Is this your mother?", he asked and felt torn between staring at her or her son. Spock tensed visibly and Jim felt like the last hour never happened. He'd thought he'd been making progress, but he'd obviously said something wrong and the Vulcan was closed off against him once more.

"I do not think my personal-", Spock replied icily, but Jim interrupted him before he could get wound up in the wrong idea.

"She's beautiful", he said quietly and looked closer. Beside her stood a Vulcan male, supposedly Spock's father, and she smiled happily down on a baby in her arms. "She looks happy."

When Jim tore his gaze away from the picture, he caught Spock staring at him in open surprise. The look had vanished as quickly as it had come, but Kirk had noticed it nonetheless. He rewarded him with a reassuring smile.

"She must be a very brave woman", Jim continued speaking when it became obvious that Spock wouldn't do the talking. "Not many humans would willingly move to a strange planet with practically no one else of their species."

"It was a necessity", the commander finally spoke. His voice was soft, careful even. As if he was afraid of scaring Jim off by talking too loud. "She met my father during one of his assignments as the Ambassador to earth. When they married, returning with him to Vulcan was logical."

"I'm glad she did", Jim smiled. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here today. And no one would stop me from 'further disgracing this Academy'."

Spock suddenly turned slightly green.

My my, Mr. Cold-blooded Vulcan, Jim thought. Don't tell me you're blushing.

"I hardly think-", the commander tried to argue, but Kirk raised his hand to stop him.

"What I meant was: she did a great job raising you", he smiled. "She must be very proud."

"That is what she said, yes", Spock admitted and looked down on his hands.

"Gee, don't sound so self-assured, your ego is crushing me", Jim said sarcastically and frowned. Could it be that this Super-Vulcan had self-esteem problems?

"I assure you, my ego is doing no such thing", Spock remarked with the raise of an eyebrow.

"I know it isn't", Kirk sighed. "That was sarcasm, Spock. I meant the exact opposite."

"If that was not what you meant, why did you say it?", the Vulcan asked slightly annoyed.

Was he annoyed? Jim asked himself startled. How could he tell? There might have been a minute change in his expression or posture, but nothing visible to an observer. And yet he was certain of it. Somehow - and he really couldn't explain how he knew it - but somehow Jim was able to read this particular Vulcan like an open book.

"It's something illogical humans like myself sometimes do, don't worry about it", Jim smiled. "I'll try not to do it around you in the future." He held his breath and waited. He had just insinuated a future with both of them in it. Would Spock get the hint or pretend he hadn't heard?

"Your consideration is appreciated, thank you, cadet", the Vulcan replied after what had seemed an eternity to Kirk.

"Jim", he offered hastily. "My friends call me Jim. And since I've been calling you Spock all this time anyway, it seems only fair."

Spock observed him for a very long minute. Kirk hadn't been aware that time could pass so slowly before he'd met the Vulcan.

"Your roommate has most likely parted from his companion by now", he eventually said. "I advise you to return to your quarters and make yourself presentable."

Jim sighed. It would have been too good to happen.

"Aye, sir", he nodded and stood from his chair. When he had made it to the door, a thought suddenly struck him. "We haven't reached a clear result yet", he pointed to the chess set. "Best out of three?"

"I am sorry to inform you that I am already otherwise engaged", Spock declined and for a moment it looked like he actually was.

"That's okay", Jim assured him quickly. "I have classes to attend anyway. I didn't mean right now. Just... Maybe later? Over dinner?"

Daring move, Kirk, he thought. If that doesn't stink like a date, I don't know what does.

Spock seemed to think the same thing because he stayed silent until Jim had counted to 42 in his head.

"That would be agreeable", he finally said and Kirk's heart stopped beating as soon as he had finished the sentence.

"I- it would? I mean", he stumbled over his own words and his feet as he made his hasty retreat to the door. If he got out of here fast enough, Spock wouldn't be able to take it back. "That's great, yes. I'll be here. Or wherever. Here? Yes. I'll be... I just need to- Right. Okay, I have to go. See you later!"

He was gone faster than lightning and missed Spock's silent, "And I you, Jim."

* * *

"You will NEVER believe what just happened to me", Jim burst through the door of the room he shared with the man currently throwing a pillow at him.

"Go away, Jim", Bones growled. "I JUST dozed off. Your girlfriend had me pat her back and offer her breakfast until 20 minutes ago. She was crying like a- no, you know what? I won't describe it. Not because you don't deserve it but because I don't deserve it. I just spent an hour on that crap. I won't relive it."

"I'm sorry, Bones", Jim said honestly and sat down on his bed, opposite his friend's. "Gee, who'd have thought she'd take it so hard? We didn't even know each other until yesterday. Way to overreact."

"Tell her, not me, kid", the doctor grumbled, still not opening his eyes.

"Anyway", Kirk moved on. "You still won't believe what happened to ME out there."

"Yeah?", Bones asked and finally looked at Jim. "I bet you- Wait a minute!" He sat up in his bed and stared dangerously at his friend. "That is not your sweater."

Jim looked down on himself. Indeed, it was not. He pulled at it in surprise. He had completely forgotten he'd been wearing it. And Spock hadn't said anything when he'd left. Curious.

"Huh", he said lamely and looked back at McCoy.

"Don't you 'huh' me, asshole", Bones said angrily and threw another pillow. "You were off sleeping with someone else while I was busy getting rid of your last conquest!" A shirt followed the pillow, and pants the shirt. Bones was on a roll now. "How could you? I offered to do this because I thought you were lovesick, not so you could go around putting your goddamn-"

"Bones! BONES!", Jim tried to speak over his friend's curses. "I didn't sleep with ANYONE!"

The doctor calmed down at this.

"You didn't?", he asked suspiciously, but didn't lay the shoe he was holding down.

"No, I did not", Jim assured him. That seemed to do the trick because Bones finally sacked down on his bed again and yawned. "In fact, you'll be happy to hear that your sacrifice might have saved my sanity."

"How so?", McCoy drawled.

"This sweater", Jim pulled at it again, just to reassure himself it was actually there, "belongs to Spock."

Bones sat up like a wild Andorian beetle had just stung him.

"You're kidding", he said and stared at Jim like he'd just grown a second head.

"I assure you, I'm not. It even smells like him", Kirk said happily.

"Explain!", Bones demanded, still looking dumbstruck.

Kirk told him everything that had happened and observed his friend's reactions closely. He wasn't objective in this. He needed someone to tell him he wasn't imagining things.

"So?", he asked cautiously at the end of his tale. "What do you think? Do I stand a chance?"

"Hell if I know", Bones grumbled. "At least he doesn't HATE you, we can be sure about that."

"Really?", Jim asked hopefully.

"Oh, kid", the older man sighed. "You know nothing about life and even less about Vulcans, huh? He talked about his personal life with you. He let you call him by his first name, no ranks included. He agreed to meet you again. In his private quarters. He lent you his goddamn sweater, and knowing you, you won't give it back!"

"Hey, I will-", Jim stopped when he saw McCoy's raised eyebrow. "Yeah, okay, I won't give it back. But do you think he likes me?"

"Look", Bones sighed and settled back into the pillows he had gathered again somewhere along their conversation. "I don't wanna raise any false hopes. But it sounds like he MIGHT be interested to me."

Jim jumped up with glee and put a big fat kiss on McCoy's cheek, stammering something about a bottle of brandy he owed him. Then he hurried into the bathroom.

"Idiot", Bones grumbled. "If that isn't love, I don't know what is."

* * *

Kirk usually liked his classes, he really did, but this time sitting through them was agonizing.

He made his way to Survival Strategies and found at the end of the course that this must have been the first time he had had absolutely no interest in discussing Klingon warfare. He kept uncharacteristically silent until the lesson was over and when he found himself in the meeting of the Xenolinguistics club, he noticed he had no desire to annoy Uhura with his presence.

"...that should be in our budget", her voice slowly travelled towards him. "Right, Kirk?"

"Hm? What?", he sat up straight, startled.

"I was just talking to you", Uhura frowned. "Were you even listening?"

"What are you saying?", Jim put up a cocky smile. "How could anyone NOT listen to your lovely voice?"

Clearly displeased with that answer, the woman looked down on her padd, entered something and sent it to Kirk's.

"Here, idiot", she said. "These are all the infos you've just missed. Read them later. This meeting is over."

Everybody got up from their seats. Two minutes later Jim found himself alone with Uhura. She looked at him intently and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Okay, farm-boy. Spit it out", she demanded. "What's wrong with you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about", Jim assured her, his smile never faltering.

"Really?", she asked clearly unconvinced. "So you're saying you haven't realized that you're only attending these meetings so you can harass me and refrained from doing so all day?"

"Uhura, please", Kirk put up his hands. "What are you implying? You wound me. You know how much I love Xenolinguistics! I care for the study of alien languages. I worry about it. And who would be better suited as its treasurer than myself?"

"You only took that job because you knew I'd be there", she tapped her fingers against her crossed arms impatiently. "We both know that. My question is why today is any different to every other day you decide to pester me with your presence."

"I honestly don't know what you-", Jim started to defend himself, but the alarm going off on his padd stopped him. He visibly lightened up, grabbed his things and turned to leave. "Sorry, love. Gotta run!", he said over his shoulder. "I have an important date."

"A date", Uhura said flatly and stared at him disbelievingly.

"Now, don't give me that look", Jim frowned. "You had your chance. You couldn't expect me to wait forever, now could you."

"I would not date you if you were the last sentient being in the whole galaxy, Kirk", she assured him with a disgusted look on her face. "I was merely shocked to find out that the great Jim Kirk would finally stop with his whole 'look at me, I'm a stud' attitude and settle down."

"Studs can have dates too", Jim pointed out, but he frowned. Was Uhura right? Was that what it was? Was he really in danger of settling down?

"So you're not denying it?" And now she really did look shocked. Jim knew his face must have mirrored her own when he didn't answer. Despite a pressing urge to assure her he hadn't changed, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Something deep inside of him wouldn't permit it.

They stared at each other for a few terrible moments.

"Well", she finally broke the silence. "I can't say I'm not surprised, but I really do hope it works out."

"Thanks, Uhura", Jim said astonished.

"At least like this you won't bother me with your pathetic flirting again", she continued.

"Wow", he said flatly. "Way to kill the mood."

"Shut up, Kirk", she sighed. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

Jim immediately fled the room after she had reminded him. He knew it was ridiculous to push himself like this. They hadn't even agreed on a specific time. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but run to his quarters as quickly as his legs would take him.

Once there, he jumped into the shower, ignoring his roommate's mumbled questions about what insect had stung him, and cleaned himself more thoroughly than ever before. McCoy had provided him with a few informations about Vulcans this afternoon, one of them being their heightened senses. He didn't want Spock to get distracted because he was smelly after all.

"Jesus Christ, Jim", Bones said when he finally opened the bathroom door again. "Don't you think you might be overdoing this?"

"Don't know what you're talking about", Jim replied and fastened a towel around his waist. He made his way into the bedroom and rummaged through his closet in search of something to wear. He had considered taking Spock's sweater, but he was too scared he'd have to give it back should the Vulcan realize he still had it.

"'m sure you don't", the doctor mumbled and pushed him out of the way. He silently inspected Jim's clothes, then held out an outfit for him. "Here", he said and let the other man take it. "Those jeans make your ass look good. And the shirt brings out your baby-blue eyes."

Kirk looked at him perplexed. No way did that just happen.

"Bones", he said slowly. "Since when exactly are you an expert on my wardrobe?"

"Since I've listened to about every goddamn student in this Academy swoon over your looks, kid", came the unhappy reply. "People think because we're friends they can use me to get to you."

"You're kidding", Jim chuckled as he pulled the shirt over his head. It was of a tight, blue, soft material and reached his wrist, but he rolled it up until it was just over his elbows. He opened the first two buttons and put on his pants.

"I wish I was", Bones grumbled and threw an assessing look his way. "Are you doing something with your hair?"

"I wasn't going to", Jim said, but he suddenly felt unsure. His friend had an eye for things like this, he should trust his opinion.

"You should. It looks kinda...", he searched for the right word, "flat."

"Gee, thanks, man", Kirk frowned and went to the bathroom again. "Care to help me out then?"

"Don't I always?", Bones sighed, but took the gel and started working.

Jim had to admit that while he was more than sufficiently gifted in styling himself, Bones treated it like an art. When he was finished, Kirk looked like he had just stepped out of a movie screen. He chuckled lightly. It was such a shame that his friend couldn't care less about his own looks. A gift like this was lost on a pragmatic guy like Bones. Jim was certain that he'd one day retire from space travelling and live as a hermit in some far off village with a long, bushy beard. He wouldn't put it past him.

"How do I look?", Jim asked and observed himself in the mirror. "Dishy enough to fluster a Vulcan?"

"Well, if that doesn't do it, I'm at my wits' end", Bones shrugged.

"Good enough for me", Kirk grinned and clapped him on the back. "Thanks, man. I owe you one."

"No", the doctor stopped him with a fierce finger in front of his face. "You owe me several ones. Repeatedly. In fact", he mused, "you'll never not be in my debt again. Better improve your stash, boy. I won't take the cheap stuff."

"Fine, fine", Jim chuckled. "I'll get you something good, promise. Now I really have to go. I'm running late!"

With that he was out the door and already on the grounds before he realized that he probably shouldn't run. Spock might notice, and he couldn't have that. He forced himself to take slow, deliberate steps and tried to control his perspiration. He was powerless against his heartbeat though.

Could it burst from sheer anticipation? Was it possible to die from nervousness?

Jim shook his head slightly. What was wrong with him? He'd never been this anxious about a date before. Of course, they hadn't mattered. But why did this one? He didn't even know the Vulcan. He'd met him a day ago, for heaven's sake!

Even as he was thinking it, he knew all his reasoning didn't matter. He'd fallen head over heels for the handsome alien as soon as he'd first laid eyes on him. Trying to keep his hormones in check was a lost battle at this point.

He stopped in front of Spock's door. They hadn't agreed on a time. Was he early? He checked his watch. It was just after 6pm. When did Vulcans eat?

He cursed himself for being such a baby and knocked on the door when he could hear McCoy's voice in his head call him a 'lovesick teenage girl'. He was NOT-

He stopped short in his musings.

Perhaps a bit, he thought as he inspected the Vulcan in front of him.

"Hey", he smiled warmly and resisted the urge to touch his arm. Bones had warned him not to get too close if he didn't intend to 'scare the poor bastard off'. "Am I early? I know we didn't agree on a specific time, but I was already finished with everything I had to do, so I thought I'd just drop by. Better sooner than later, right?"

He wished the ground would swallow him up. He was babbling. He never babbled. It was a good thing Bones wasn't here. He'd never let him live this down.

The Vulcan in front of him examined him for a second, then quietly moved aside so Jim could walk into the living room and closed the door behind him.

"I had just finished grading assignments when you knocked", Spock eventually explained and looked at Jim who was standing awkwardly in the room. "I understand it is human custom to offer guests a beverage when they arrive. Would you care for something to drink, cadet?"

"Yes, thank you", Kirk sighed, happy the Vulcan was talking at all, if oddly stiffly. "And I told you, it's Jim."

Spock merely nodded at that and turned to the replicator. He entered something while Jim made a daring move towards the instrument still sitting on the chair.

"I wanted to ask", he admitted as he inspected it closer. "What is it? I've never seen anything like it, but I suspect it's Vulcan, right?"

"You are right in your assumption", Spock said and sat down two cups of something that looked like tea on the table with the chess set. He moved towards Jim and the instrument. "It is a classic instrument of my people, a Vulcan lute."

"Care to explain the logic of such an instrument to me, Spock?", Jim smiled warmly. "If you don't, I might be tempted to think Vulcans have a romantic streak."

"Playing an instrument has been proven to have a desirable effect on brain development", Spock said in his best lecture-voice. "Teaching Vulcan children to play the lute to further improve their mental capabilities is only logical."

"I'm sure it is", Jim mumbled and gently tucked on one of the strings. It sounded nice. He was overcome by a sudden desire to hear the instrument being played. "Any chance you'll demonstrate what it sounds like?"

For a moment, he was certain Spock wouldn't answer. He had already mentally said goodbye to the notion of ever seeing the Vulcan pluck these strings, when he finally opened his mouth.

"Perhaps another time", Spock said vaguely. That was good enough for Jim for the moment. He wouldn't push.

"I'm looking forward to it", he assured him and smiled at the thought of coming back here again. "Shall we?" He gestured towards the table. He'd noticed Spock was growing more uncomfortable with Jim examining his belongings by the second and didn't want to agitate him any more than strictly necessary.

Spock nodded and they sat down around the chess set. Kirk remembered something.

"That reminds me", he said as he played with one of the pieces and put it back down. "I meant to ask: whom do you usually play with?"

"I do not follow", the Vulcan replied and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you've got a chess board", Jim gestured at it, "and you've got a title, so I'm curious. Whom do you play with?"

"I see", Spock slightly tilted his head to one side. "You suffer from the misconception that it was I who bought the set. I assure you, I did not. My mother gave it to me, no doubt hoping it would prompt me to find someone to play with."

Jim looked at him in silence for a heartbeat. Spock's mother wanted him to find friends. He could sympathize. When he looked at the Vulcan now, he could clearly see the loneliness in his human eyes. What must it be like to live on a strange planet, alone among a race he obviously had trouble understanding?

"Well, you can tell her you did now", Jim smiled again resisted the urge to touch the man in front of him. It was harder than he'd thought. He was a touch-person. He enjoyed giving light pats on the back and reassuring grasps on the shoulder. Containing his impulses now seemed almost too much to bear, so he distracted his hands with another chess piece.

"She will no doubt be delighted", Spock replied dryly and Jim stopped fiddling. Was that humour? Did Vulcans have that? He chuckled lightly.

"Spock, you are amazing", he said and took a sip of his tea. It was good, if unfamiliar. "How come this place isn't flooded with girls?"

"I am afraid I do not understand this human expression", Spock said with the raise of an eyebrow that told Jim he understood perfectly well.

"You know", he shrugged. "Handsome AND interesting guy like you, living by yourself... It just doesn't add up. How come there's no girlfriend around to prevent you from being snatched away under her fingers?"

The Vulcan stared at him in silence.

"Boyfriend?", Jim added hopefully, apparently like an afterthought. It wasn't, of course. He'd been meaning to find out about that ever since he'd first met him. Kirk had no idea what the Vulcan stance on two guys doing it together was, but he was sure it was something along the lines of 'any sort of action not strictly necessary for reproduction is illogical'. Jim sure hoped that wasn't what this particular Vulcan thought, but he'd have to find out eventually either way.

"I find humans to be of little interest for my personal life and distracting for my studies at best", Spock finally answered.

"Ah", Jim breathed. "I knew it couldn't be due to a shortage of candidates." He thought back to the Efrosian girl Bones had to get rid of. She hadn't even shown any interest in Spock, and yet Kirk couldn't stand the possibility of her trying to get closer to him. He really hoped he was wrong about the armies of girls throwing themselves on the Vulcan. He didn't think he could distract all of them. Not on his own, at least. Perhaps he could get his friend to give him a hand. Who knew? He might even enjoy it.

"I assure you, cadet: I have not noticed any of these 'candidates' as you have called them, nor do I wish to", Spock said and he sounded almost angry. Had Jim pushed too hard? "In addition, I remind you that my personal life or lack thereof is of no concern of yours."

"Sorry", Kirk mumbled. "I didn't mean to pry. I'm just curious. It's a human thing, you're probably not familiar with it. You can ask me questions too, if you like. I don't mind. And it's Jim, by the way." He said that last part with special emphasis.

"Your conquests are well known throughout the Academy", Spock said coolly. "I doubt I would benefit from any deeper knowledge."

"Now wait a minute", Kirk said and he felt the heat in him rising. Just what rumours had Spock stumbled upon? "I'm sure you'll agree that you can't trust everything you hear."

"Absolutely", the Vulcan nodded. "I have, however, witnessed your behaviour myself on more than one occasion."

"My beha-", Jim started confused. Then it dawned on him. The Vulcan was not familiar with the concept of harmless flirting. "Spock", he said slowly and this time he couldn't help but put a hand on the other's across the table. "That's just playful banter. We call it flirting, or sometimes teasing. It's something human males do almost automatically whenever there's someone willing to participate around. It doesn't mean I'm actually interested in any of those people."

Spock stared at him and his hand for an impossibly long time. When Jim was almost certain he was about to get thrown out of the window in a demonstration of Vulcan strength and unwillingness to be touched, he finally spoke.

"I see", he said slowly. Jim hoped he wouldn't ask about his actual conquests. He felt uncomfortable lying to the Vulcan, but he wasn't sure he could handle the truth just yet. "If that is the case, then how do humans establish whether this 'flirting' is desired to be taken further?"

"Well, that's... a really good question", Jim frowned. How was he supposed to explain that? It usually just happened, but Spock obviously knew nothing about interactions he considered ordinary.

"There is the flirting, of course." He looked down on his hand above Spock's. The heat radiating from there made it almost impossible to focus on the task at hand, but he was unwilling to let go before he had to.

"And then... well... then it becomes focussed, you know? Like... you don't pay attention to anyone else anymore. You try to be around that person you're interested in as much as possible. And eventually you go on dates. And then you just take it from there. Gifts, maybe. Messages, calls... More dates. You start to do... couple-y stuff. You know", he gestured wildly with his free hand. Spock's look clearly said that he really didn't know. He sighed.

"You stay over night. You have breakfast together. You drop by where they work. Maybe with coffee or something. You introduce them to your friends and eventually parents. And then maybe, if everything feels right, you propose and if you're lucky, they say yes and then you marry. And then you continue doing couple-y stuff."

Spock looked at him curiously, as if he were a particularly interesting experiment.

"Fascinating", he said finally and left it at that.

"Yeah, well... That's romance for you in a nutshell", Jim shrugged mildly. "I'm sorry I couldn't explain it any better. I'm really not that much of a professional in that area myself, I'm afraid."

"On the contrary, Jim", Spock said and Kirk had to check twice to make sure he hadn't just imagined it. That was the first time the Vulcan had called him by his name. He could have kissed the alien right then and there, but he contained his excitement as good as possible without bursting. He couldn't stop the bright smile from forming on his face though. "I thank you for this illustration. It was most helpful."

"Well, in that case I'm glad I could help", he assured him quickly. "And I thank you for finally using my name. I like the sound of it so much better than 'cadet'".

"I am inclined to agree", Spock tilted his head to one side. "The title does not suit you."

"I sure hope it doesn't!", Kirk laughed. "I got my eyes on 'Captain', after all. Captain James T. Kirk. How does that sound?"

"As if it was never meant to be any other way", the Vulcan replied and Jim could have sworn he saw the slight rising of the corners of his mouth. There was a definite sparkle in his eyes.

"I'm glad you agree with me, commander Spock", Jim chuckled. "That does sound good though. Commander Spock. You should keep that title. I like it."

"It will stay with me once I have been assigned as Science Officer to a starship", the Vulcan assured Jim, and he was SURE Spock was smiling now.

"Science Officer, huh?", Kirk whistled impressed. "Not bad. Of course on my ship, you'd have to double as First Officer. I'd never let a Vulcan mind like yours go to waste."

There was a sudden pressure on Jim's hand and he looked down to see that Spock had squeezed it lightly.

"Then I will look forward to serving under your command... Captain", he whispered almost too lowly to hear, but Kirk caught it anyway. The room suddenly seemed too hot to bear and Jim wished nothing more than for Spock to undress him right then and there. Perhaps it was a good thing the Vulcan chose this exact moment to release his hand and turn towards the replicator.

"Do you wish to-", Spock frowned and cleared his throat. "Do you wish to make your own selection?"

"No", Kirk sighed and stared longingly at those hands lingering over the buttons. "But I have to. I'm allergic to almost everything and there's a good chance you might kill me."

Spock looked at him in shock, which of course meant he did nothing more than raise an eyebrow, but Jim knew. Somehow he was able to read him like he'd just openly gaped at him.

"I assure you, I would never-", he started to defend himself, but Jim interrupted him chuckling.

"No, not on purpose, Spock", he said. "But until Bones had a chance to give you the full list of 'no good' substances for me, you should probably let me handle it. To be honest, I don't remember all the stuff I'm not supposed to eat myself, but he does. That's why he usually scans everything before I can swallow it."

"Doctor McCoy will make an excellent physician on a starship", Spock noticed calmly, looking more relaxed now.

"On MY starship, I hope", Jim laughed. "He'd die from all the stress if he'd have to worry about me without the possibility to check on me. He'd probably bribe the acting physician on board to give him hourly updates on my status and then call him every five minutes anyway."

"You and the doctor are close", Spock noticed. Was that a slight note of disdain? Something suddenly sprang into Jim's mind.

"He's my best friend", he explained quickly. "And my roommate, so naturally we're inseparable. I know there are rumours that he and I are more than friends, but that's really all they are. Bones is as straight as an Orion dancing pole, and even if he weren't: he's more like a mother to me than anything. Just the thought of..." He shivered.

Yes, he knew about the rumours. And so did Bones. They had discussed it briefly, agreeing that they'd both rather lick the floor of a Klingon flagship than kiss each other, and continued drinking.

"I see", Spock raised an eyebrow, but he looked at ease again.

"To answer your original question", Jim found back to the topic at hand. "I'll take pasta."

The Vulcan nodded and entered something into the replicator. A few seconds later he returned to the table and sat down two plates. Jim examined Spock's food with interest.

"What is this?", he asked curiously and gestured at the plate.

"Plomeek soup", the Vulcan replied. "It is a traditional Vulcan dish."

"Can I try this one day?", Jim asked. "After Bones has given the okay, of course."

"In my experience, humans usually describe it as bland in taste. I am uncertain you would enjoy it", Spock mused.

"I want to try it anyway", Kirk insisted. "Can't know if I like it if I've never tried it, right?"

"Indeed", the Vulcan nodded and they started playing over dinner in silence.

It was Jim's turn to take white and so far the odds were pretty even. When they had finished eating, Kirk decided it was time to resume their conversation.

"So why are you here anyway?", he asked. Spock raised his eyebrow. Damn, did he know this was hot and did it on purpose? Jim fought the heat suddenly rising inside him and forced himself to continue speaking. "Not that I'm not grateful or anything. I'm glad you chose to come to earth, but why? There aren't exactly many Vulcans to be found around here."

"It was a personal decision", Spock replied slowly and considered his next move. Kirk was sure he'd never get anything beyond that answer, but once he had set his Queen down again, he locked eyes with Kirk and resumed speaking. "I had applied to the Vulcan Science Academy in addition to Starfleet."

"The Vulcan Science Academy?", Jim asked, baffled. "That's like, THE most prestigious- Sorry, you were saying?" He contained his surprise at this revelation and gestured Spock to go on. The Vulcan raised his eyebrow, but complied.

"They accepted me, but it soon became clear that we had different... views on certain aspects of my life", he said slowly. "I found myself unwilling to join them and chose Starfleet instead."

"You turned down the Vulcan Science Academy?", Jim asked disbelievingly. He knew his mouth was hanging open, but he couldn't help himself. To think he almost didn't meet this alien, and that it was only thanks to a choice like that... "NO ONE has ever done this before!"

"You are well acquainted with the institution", Spock noticed.

"Yeah, well", Jim scratched his head innocently. "You hear a lot when you're in a place like this. Students talk." That was only partly true, of course. He had actually read up on as much of Vulcan culture and the planet itself as he could before he came here. His classes had been boring him today anyway. A bit of research during a couple of them didn't hurt, right?

"You are correct, however", Spock said tensely. "No Vulcan has ever turned the admission down when offered the chance. Since we had previously established that I was not a full Vulcan, their record indeed remains untarnished."

Jim considered this for a moment and tried to read between the lines. There was something Spock wasn't telling him, and he thought he knew what that was. He slowly put out his hand again and laid it on Spock's.

"No, you're not a full Vulcan", he agreed. "You are better. You get to be everything they'll never know. A child of both worlds. They're idiots for letting you go, but I can't deny I'm happy they did."

"Your emotional response is illogical", Spock said eventually, and his face was blank. Jim almost pulled back his hand at that, but he stopped the motion when he continued speaking lowly. "However, appreciated."

"Yeah? Well", Jim smiled openly at him. "That's me. Always the illogical human."

Spock raised his eyebrow, but remained silent. Jim chuckled and moved a chess piece with his free hand.

"Checkmate", he said and gave the Vulcan's hand a light squeeze. Spock frowned at the board, but didn't remove his hand.

"Most unusual", he muttered and examined Jim's move. "You are the most unpredictable player I have ever encountered. Your moves are entirely illogical and appear to be made almost at random, and yet..."

"Perhaps it just takes some getting used to", Jim suggested. "I'm sure after a couple of matches I won't be able to surprise you anymore."

"That remains to be seen", Spock replied and Jim smiled cheerfully. He had just insinuated they do this again and the Vulcan had agreed in his own subtle way. "It is getting late. You have an early class to attend tomorrow. I suggest you return to your quarters."

"If I'm not mistaken, you have the same class to attend", Jim said.

"True", Spock nodded. "However, Vulcans require a significantly smaller amount of sleep than humans."

"Cheater", Jim mumbled, but stood up after giving the other's hand another light squeeze. When he had made it to the door, he suddenly felt uncertain. How should he leave? What should he say?

"Okay, then...", he started and looked around, suddenly feeling uneasy. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow." He turned around and had already raised his hand to the door pad when he added a small "Good night, Spock", and hurried out of the room.

Spock had abruptly stood up when Jim had made it to the door and was now left staring at the spot he had been standing at only seconds ago. He turned around slowly and made his way into the bedroom.

"Good night, Jim."


	3. Chapter 3

"Would you please stop beaming? It's hurting my eyes", Bones grumbled the next morning when they were sitting in a small café near the campus. Jim chuckled lightly and took a sip from his coffee.

"Don't know what you're talking about", he said lightly.

"I'm sure you don't", the doctor rolled his eyes. "Are you gonna tell me what happened last night or what?"

"I don't kiss and tell, Bones", Jim smiled.

"That's fine since you haven't kissed him anyway", he shrugged and and downed his coffee.

"Who says I haven't?", Kirk pouted.

"Don't take this the wrong way, kid", Bones explained, "but if you'd kissed him you'd probably be doing a lot more than just sitting here disgustingly happy."

"Really?", Jim laughed. "And what would that be?"

"How 'm I supposed to know?", he gestured wildly around the room, "Break out in song or something."

"Do you think he's that good?", the younger man asked curiously.

"God, I don't wanna think about that, dammit!", Bones closed his eyes with a pained expression. "Just tell me what happened so we can get it over with."

"Nothing", Jim shrugged.

"Nothing", his friend repeated. "And that's why your smile is so radiant it will probably give me cancer."

"All right", he put up his hands in defeat and leaned back in his chair. "I might have touched him."

Bones looked at him for a second.

"Well, your hand's still there", he noticed eventually.

"No shit."

"Shut up", he gave the blond a light clap on the head. "You know what I mean. How come you're still in one piece? What did you do?"

"Hm...", Jim made slowly. He thought about it for a bit. What DID he do? "Be my normal charming self, I guess", he grinned eventually.

"Yeah, right", Bones snorted.

"Hey! Words can hurt, you know", Jim dramatically put his hand on his chest to demonstrate his point.

"No, seriously", the doctor pressed. "What did you do?"

"I don't know, Bones", his friend sighed. "We talked. We played chess. I touched his hand-"

"You WHAT?", McCoy stared at him open-mouthed and held a finger in front of Kirk's face. "And I thought you didn't 'kiss and tell'!"

Jim observed his friend's curious reaction in silence. He seemed downright shocked.

"You look like you need a drink, Bones", Kirk eventually noticed.

"Damn right I need a drink", the doctor grumbled and whacked him with his med kit. "How could you keep this from me for so long? Why didn't you wake me up when you came back? After all the work I've put into your appearance... And this is how you thank me!"

"Bones, calm down!", Jim urged and rubbed his head. "What's the big deal? So he let me touch him. I mean I'm glad he did and it's definitely a step forward, but it's nothing to get so worked up about. Actually", he frowned, "how come you're more excited about it than me?"

McCoy looked at him in blatant disbelief.

"You're kidding", he said flatly.

"Just spit it out already, you're making me nervous", Kirk replied and shifted uncomfortably on his chair.

"Jim", Bones started slowly, making sure his eyes didn't miss any reaction from the man opposite him, "have you read the info I gave you on Vulcans?"

"What?", he frowned. "Of course I have. Not that it actually helped-"

"Perhaps it would have if you weren't such a big idiot!" He whacked him again. "Did you even see the words in front of your eyes when you were reading it?"

"What are you TALKING about, Bones?", Jim said exasperatedly.

"Vulcans. Kiss. With. Their. Goddamn. Hands. IDIOT", the doctor said as slowly as he could to make sure his friend got it.

"No, they don't", the blond said weakly and stared at the other man with the same expression of shock he had shown minutes before.

"Could have fooled me", Bones snorted. "What with all their nerves gathering in their oh-so-sensitive fingers. Whaddaya think why they don't shake hands?"

"I don't know what I thought!", Jim whined. "Shit, how could I miss this?" He looked visibly unhappy.

"Beats me", his friend shrugged. "Just be thankful he didn't mind the groping."

"That's the awful part!", he cried. "I kissed him and he liked it! And I didn't even know!"

Bones started laughing so loud heads turned in their direction. He didn't stop until it became too painful to continue and by the time he was breathing normally again, he was wiping tears from his eyes.

"Looks like you made it to first base last night without knowing you were playing", he eventually chuckled.

"Gee, Bones. That's helpful. Thank you for your endless wisdom", Jim replied gloomily.

"Don't look like I just kicked your favourite puppy", Bones said, suddenly serious again. "That's a good thing. It's what you wanted, right?"

"I guess", he admitted slowly.

"Then stop mourning past opportunities and beam again", the doctor sighed. "You're depressing me and everyone else in this goddamn café. Next time you'll know."

"I don't know if there'll be a next time!", Jim whined. "We didn't agree on a second date."

"Kid", Bones slowly shook his head. "How you made it this far in life without my help is beyond me. Shouldn't you be dead? Or a virgin? The hobgoblin allowed you to feel him up. There'll be second date, all right."

"You think so?", Kirk asked hopefully and grinned again.

"Definitely", McCoy sighed and stood up. "And now get your ass out of here before you'll be late again."

"Yes, sir!", Jim said and hurriedly grabbed his padd from the table.

"Idiot", Bones grumbled and followed his friend out the door.

"I heard that", Kirk noticed, but ran off in the other direction without arguing.

He wouldn't be late. Not this time. He smiled.

Sneaky Vulcan. Had he thought Jim knew what he was doing when he grabbed his hand? Probably. After all, he had shown Spock that he knew a lot about Vulcan culture. It was only 'logical' to assume that he was aware of this particular bit of information too. Or wasn't it? If Spock hadn't expected Jim to know about this, it meant...

No way. He had totally taken advantage of Jim's ignorance!

Two can play at this game, Jim thought and smiled deviously. I won't tell you that I know until you figure it out yourself.

This revelation did put a lot of things into perspective though. Like Spock's aversion to Kirk's flirting with other students. Or his jealousy concerning Bones. And the question about how to be sure about one's motives!

"I'm an idiot", Jim muttered in silent agreement with his friend. How could he not have seen this? He was usually good at this! He didn't get the reputation Spock rejected for nothing!

He slowly settled into a seat in the front row. This should be good. He slid his hand into his pocket and took out the lollipop he had put in there this morning. He slowly unwrapped the green candy and put it into his mouth.

When Spock entered the classroom, he gave no sign of recognition as his gaze grazed Kirk. He turned to the desk and laid his padd down. The second he was facing the students again, Jim knew he was looking at him. He licked the lolly deliberately slowly and winked.

The Vulcan turned away as fast as he could without tearing something. Jim was pleased to notice that a certain green tinge had overcome the pointy ears. Good. So his punishment was working.

Focussing on the lecture was an ordeal for both of them, but at least Jim had his lolly to keep him occupied. He had chosen the colour particularly to fluster the Vulcan, but now he found it was doing something unexpected for him too. Dammit, he was turning himself on with all that licking and the cocky looks towards his instructor. God alone knew how Spock could stand it, but he sure couldn't take it much longer.

The end of the lesson came as an unexpected relief, and Jim swore to himself that he would never try this again. Getting Spock to pointedly ignore him whilst obviously still seeing what he was doing with his tongue had been fun, but Kirk didn't think his own sanity could stand the strain permanently.

He cheerfully jumped off his chair and hurried towards the desk where Spock was entering something in his padd. He leaned dangerously close over his shoulder and pretended to check what he was doing. He could almost feel the Vulcan tense beneath him.

"Are you free tonight?", he asked deliberately close to one of his ears. He knew Spock could feel his breath grazing it like this and smiled at the thought.

The Vulcan slowly turned around and glared at him dangerously.

"This question concerns my personal life, cadet", he stated with a raised eyebrow.

"I sure hope it does", Kirk nodded eagerly. He wouldn't let the apparent cold the Vulcan was once again radiating throw him off. He had kissed the guy, for heaven's sake. "And it's Jim."

"As your instructor-", Spock tried to argue, but Jim stopped him before he could finish a sentence he didn't want to hear.

"The lesson ended 3 minutes ago", he said. "There's no one else here", he gestured around the now empty room to prove his point, "You can call me Jim."

Spock doubtfully stared at him, but didn't argue.

"And you still haven't answered my question", Jim continued. "Are you free tonight?"

For a moment the Vulcan looked like he was about to debate the human phrasing, but he seemed to decide against it and slightly tilted his head to one side.

"I would be able to create a time period in which no pressing matters were to require my attention", he eventually answered and to Jim that sounded like a screaming yes.

"Great!", he exclaimed and playfully clapped his arm. "Dinner? I'll pick you up at... say... 1900?"

Spock stared at him as if he had just suggested dragging him into a space strip club. Jim smiled at the thought. He'd love to see the Vulcan stoically ignore the advances of the dancers.

"I know a great vegetarian place", he explained with a smile. "You'll like it, I promise."

"The accuracy of your prediction remains to be seen", Spock said slowly. "However, we will not achieve a result unless we try it."

"That's a yes then", Jim beamed and on a whim took the Vulcan's left hand in his right. This time he knew what to look out for, and there it was! He noticed a definite sharp intake of air, if a short one. Spock tensed slightly and his face seemed to grow the tiniest hue greener than it had been before.

Feeling daring, he slowly applied pressure. At first, his appearance didn't change, but when Jim started drawing small circles with his thumb on the back of Spock's hand, there was a twitch in his eyes and they grew undoubtedly darker.

Jim liked the feeling, but he would have liked an actual human kiss better. He refrained from leaning forward and forced himself to release Spock's hand with one last gentle squeeze. The disappointment in the Vulcan's eyes must have mirrored his own, but Kirk was certain that if he didn't stop this now, he'd be unceremoniously pulling them over the desk in a minute. Not that he would mind, really, but he somehow didn't think Spock was the type.

"Great", he broke the heavy silence while the Vulcan was regaining his usual control over his posture. "I'll see you tonight then."

He hurried out of the room without turning back.

* * *

When he picked up Bones later from one of his classes and told him about what had happened, the older man just snorted and told him not to get too excited. He'd have to eat vegetarian food after all. Jim assured him he could handle it for one evening and left it at that. He dropped his friend off at his next class and attended his own. Then he rushed to his room, made sure he still knew where the restaurant was, and took a long shower.

The next part he gave a lot of thought, but eventually he decided to take Spock's sweater. He intended to give it back tonight. If the Vulcan took it off him, of course. He smiled deviously. Oh, he would rip it off him, all right. Now that he knew about Vulcan hands, he felt much more confident about seducing Spock.

To further insure that his efforts would be successful, he chose one of his tightest pants and examined himself in the mirror. Spock was slightly taller than him, so the sweater was just loose enough to show people it wasn't his. Good. Everyone should know the Vulcan belonged to him. It was plain and black, but it smelled like Spock and Jim was certain it looked illegally good on the Vulcan. Not that it didn't look great on himself. Paired with his dark jeans he was sure he'd go home with the alien tonight.

He added some gel to his hair to achieve a satisfying 'out of bed'-look and headed for his date's quarters.

He almost jumped with glee at that thought. Spock was his date. His actual date. There was no way the Vulcan could have misunderstood his invitation for dinner as a friendly gesture. He stopped short in his steps. Could he? No, Jim thought, that's impossible. He resumed walking. He had been very obvious about his intentions after all. He'd Vulcan-kissed the guy, for crying out loud! If Spock misunderstood that, there was no point in trying anymore.

He knocked on the door at exactly 1900 hours, and sure enough, Spock was there in the blink of an eye. And that's what Jim did.

Damn, no way did the Vulcan not know this was a date. He looked sinfully good and if this was what he always looked like when he headed out with a casual friend, Jim wasn't sure he'd be able to ever let him out of his room again. Too much competition.

He wore dark pants that revealed nothing and showcased everything and a black, slightly loose shirt with the first two buttons open. Jim mentally groaned at that. It took all of his willpower not to jump the Vulcan on the spot.

"Hey, Spock", he forced himself to meet his eyes. Somehow that only worsened the situation. "You look great. I had half expected a traditional Vulcan outfit, to be honest." He smiled at the slight frown appearing on the other's face.

"I was led to believe this was the appropriate attire for a social event like this", he explained and looked down on himself.

"It is! God, it is", Jim mumbled the last part to himself and smiled warmly at the Vulcan. "Don't listen to me. You look awesome. I have no objections to make, believe me."

"You just insisted I should not listen to you", Spock pointed out, but the sparkling in his eyes told Jim that he was teasing him. "You too look customarily agreeable."

"Why, Spock", Jim said baffled once the first shock was over. "Do you mean I always look good?"

"I believe that is what I just said", the Vulcan replied blankly. Kirk openly laughed at that and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, Spock", he chuckled. "Don't ever change."

As a response he got nothing but a raised eyebrow, but Jim had already expected that. He squeezed the shoulder under his hand lightly and stepped away from the door.

"Shall we?", he asked and gestured down the corridor. Spock nodded in agreement, grabbed a jacket from the coat rack, and they left in companionable silence.

* * *

Jim found the restaurant at his first try and the Orion waitress led them to a relatively private table in the far corner. He thanked her with a smile, and she left them to themselves.

When Kirk looked up again, he found Spock's eyes boring into his. The Vulcan was clearly unhappy about something. Didn't he like the establishment? Jim wasn't exactly a fan of vegetarian cuisine, but it had still made a positive impression on him when he'd first eaten here.

"Are you all right?", he asked concerned.

"I am functioning", Spock replied vaguely.

"I can see that", Jim chuckled. "You know that's not what I meant. Don't you like the restaurant? We can go somewhere else, but I swear the food here's good."

"This will be acceptable", he said harshly, and Kirk looked at him slightly taken aback.

"Okay...", he murmured. "No need to get bitchy. I was just asking."

Spock looked at him in a way that told Jim no one had ever called him bitchy before, but a second later he felt a warm leg gently pressing against his under the table.

All right, Jim smiled silently to himself, you are forgiven.

"I must admit I did not expect you to be a vegetarian, Jim", Spock finally broke the silence, and the use of his name eliminated any hard feelings he still might have held against the Vulcan.

"I'm not", he explained.

"Ah", the Vulcan frowned. "In this case please excuse my assumption."

"There's nothing to be excused, Spock", Jim assured him with a smile.

"Indeed", he said. "May I ask how you became acquainted with this establishment then?"

"A friend invited me", Kirk shrugged. And what a friend that was. He didn't tell Spock about the specifics. Somehow he couldn't imagine the Vulcan would be to keen to hear about his exploits with a fellow student. The food had been good, that much was true, but what had followed later in her bedroom had been better. "I know Vulcans don't eat meat, so I suggested this place."

"You did not have to alter your habits to suit mine", Spock frowned slightly.

"Relax", Jim smiled. "They serve good food, even if it's vegetarian, and I have great company. It's not exactly a hardship." He brushed the Vulcan's hand on the table as if per accident and then innocently browsed the menu.

"How about this?", he asked and pointed to the Andorian tuber root. Spock examined him in silence for a second and then sighed almost invisibly.

"Jim, perhaps it might be advisable if you let me choose your dinner", he told him. "You are highly allergic to the contents of this particular dish."

"No way!", Jim frowned. "Am I?" Spock nodded silently. "That's just great. Bones was right. I really can't go anywhere on my- Wait a minute." He fixed the Vulcan with a suspicious glare. "How do YOU know that?"

"When you made clear that you intended to have dinner with me, I asked doctor McCoy for your medical file", Spock admitted.

"And he just gave it to you?", Jim asked dumbstruck. That wasn't like Bones.

"Gladly so", the Vulcan nodded. "He thanked 'the heaven's' for my appearance in your life and not only provided me with a list of things you should come close to 'under no circumstances', but additionally handed me this", he took a hypo out of his jacket and showed it to Jim before putting it away again, "with the instruction to 'push it into your neck' should you 'decide to be an idiot'."

The blond looked at him like he'd just told him he intended to open a ballet school with McCoy.

"You met Bones?", he asked to make sure.

"That is what I just said."

"I can't believe he didn't tell me about this!", Jim whined. They had so much to talk about! How could he have kept this meeting to himself?

"I apologize", Spock said. "I specifically asked the doctor not to inform you of my enquiries. I believed you would find them to be an intrusion into your privacy."

"So you decided to keep it a secret?", Kirk asked. The Vulcan looked slightly guilty, but said nothing. Jim sighed. "It's okay, Spock. I don't mind. Really", he put special emphasis on the last word, "It's... nice. To have someone who worries about me enough to go behind my back to ensure that I don't die an untimely and pretty pathetic death in a restaurant. I'm not used to honest concern like that from anyone other than Bones."

This time it was Spock who grabbed HIS hand, and Jim almost died on the spot from that, never mind his allergies. To his disappointment, he retracted it as soon as the Orion waitress returned to their table to take their orders.

Jim didn't feel like eating, but Spock chose appropriate meals for both of them and the girl was gone once more.

"So tell me what it's like to be living among illogical humans", Jim spoke up when they were alone again. "Is it better or worse than staying on Vulcan?"

"My life on Vulcan was adequate", Spock mused. "However, I find that earth has become more attractive in the recent past."

Kirk didn't even try to fight the colour from rising in his cheeks at that. He cleared his throat in a desperate attempt to control his voice and focussed on Spock.

"'Adequate' doesn't sound so great", he noticed, choosing to ignore the Vulcan's compliment to avoid further embarrassment.

"It was... sufficient."

"Right", Jim frowned. "You had a hard time growing up, huh?" He made a wild guess. Judging by Spock's reaction when Kirk had found out his mother was human, the Vulcan had had some unpleasant experiences because of his origin.

"I was unaware that time could be 'hard'", Spock said, but Jim knew he understood.

"A human expression", he entertained him. "I meant that your fellow Vulcans probably weren't... as accepting as they should have been."

"I see", Spock said and left it at that.

"Growing up wasn't easy for me either, you know", Kirk told him in an attempt to bring the Vulcan to talk to him about his problems. "You know about my father. I never knew him, and rumour has it I look a lot like him", he smiled bitterly, "so it was hard for mum to be around me. And the guy she married later... gee, what an ass", Jim frowned as if he'd just realized that, "he practically drove my brother away when my mum was off-planet. Haven't heard from him ever since."

Spock observed him silently and carefully took Kirk's hand in his again. This time he remained like this when the Orion brought their food, and his eyes never left the other's.

"My human side", he started quietly and Jim had to concentrate to hear his words, "was viewed upon as a disadvantage when I lived on Vulcan. I was considered to be... emotional. I had to work on my controls with more determination than the other children. It was... I left the planet when it became clear that my achievements had not changed their opinion on my human heritage."

"Spock", Kirk whispered affectionately and leaned forward in his chair. He carefully traced the Vulcan's ear with the fingers of his free hand. He tried to ignore the urge to nibble on one of them and focussed on comforting the alien. "If I could, I would kick their asses for treating you like this, and believe me, should they ever have the misfortune to meet me, I will, but for now I can only say this: their loss is my gain." He smiled sadly. "Am I a bad person for being glad they scared you off?"

"I do not know", Spock admitted and leaned into the touch. "But it would seem in the event that you are, we share the same trait."

Jim openly grinned at that and took the opportunity to explore the Vulcan's ears. They were unexpectedly soft under his touch, and when he tried rubbing them in slow motions, he noticed a green tinge was appearing on Spock's cheeks.

He wasn't gonna lie: he was about to plunge over the table then and there, but Spock firmly removed the hand on his ear with his free one and released Jim's other after gently pressing it before he had the chance.

After that, the blond decided the agony he was causing himself with those touches wasn't worth it and tried to keep the conversation light. They talked about his courses and Spock's experiments, their computer expertise, and recent starship operations that had made it into the news. Dinner was good and Jim smiled happily at the fact that Spock obviously knew exactly what he liked without ever asking him a single question about his eating habits. He wouldn't turn into a vegetarian for the Vulcan, but he certainly wouldn't mind taking him out to such establishments every now and then.

The moment Jim had most feared and anticipated came after Spock had insisted on paying for dinner and Kirk had assured the Orion waitress with a convincing smile that they were done arguing about it now. They left the restaurant in silence, and despite not vocally offering to do so, the Vulcan didn't seem to mind that Jim was walking him home.

Kirk was standing anxiously behind Spock when he opened the door and thought about leaving for a second, but decided against it. If the Vulcan didn't want him here, he could always throw him out.

He had made two steps into the room when the door locked behind him and he was roughly pushed against it. He didn't even have time to be surprised because the next thing he noticed was a very hot, very Vulcan mouth on his. Never one to question his luck, Jim through all reasoning to hell and grabbed Spock's shirt to pull him closer. He eagerly opened his mouth under the pressing Vulcan and tried to fight him for control for a minute. He soon realized it was useless. Spock was on fire, and he didn't stand a chance against the alien strength.

This is going better than expected, he thought when Spock broke the kiss and growled as he was licking and biting Jim's neck.

Kirk tried to ease the Vulcan out of his shirt, but Spock stopped him and did it himself, three times as fast as Jim would have been. He gasped when he felt a wet, hot tongue running down his ear.

"Did no one ever tell you not to tease a Vulcan?", Spock whispered dangerously low and nibbled on his earlobe.

"I didn't", Jim groaned, "I didn't do anything."

"Careful, cadet", Spock warned him and his hands trailed under his sweater. "Lies will be punished."

"Don't know what you're talking about", he mumbled and clung to the hot chest pressing against his.

"Perhaps a retrospection will help your memory", Spock purred and licked his neck. "It started with the lollipop", he sucked on a sensitive spot, "and then there was the touching", he tucked on Jim's pants and forced them further down, "and then you flirted with the waitress..."

"I didn't-", the blond tried to argue, but Spock bit down on his neck and dug his fingers into his side.

"Silence!", he ordered and breathed into his ear. "In addition to all this, you are wearing my sweater", he noticed and tucked at it to demonstrate his point.

"You didn't ask me to give it back", Kirk reminded him.

"I didn't want it back", the Vulcan growled and took a deep breath. "You smell like me now."

Oh God, Jim thought, I will die from heart-failure.

"That was the idea", he said and slipped out of his shoes. "So are you gonna take it off or do I have to do it myself?"

Spock growled and removed the piece of clothing as if it had offended him in some way. Jim smiled and captured the hot mouth in another breathtaking kiss. The alien tongue tasted unfamiliar, but pleasant, and he suddenly couldn't imagine ever doing this with anyone else again.

He forced Spock out of his pants and got rid of his own when he silently pushed them towards the bedroom. He knew from painful experience that the Vulcan couldn't be moved when he didn't want to, but even though he followed Jim's lead reluctantly, he did let himself be shoved on the bed. Once there, he resented the passive role again and turned them around so the blond was lying underneath him.

Resistance was futile, Jim learned that quickly. If the Vulcan didn't want him to move, he didn't get to. There was one thing however, that Kirk desperately wanted to try. He leaned up towards the hot body above him and put a hand into Spock's hair. He pushed closer and licked the tip of his ear.

The reaction was immediate. Spock growled and his fingers dug deeper into Jim's flesh on his hips. Curious, the blond did what he'd been burning to do all evening: he nibbled. The Vulcan bit down on his shoulder and he winced slightly. God, were his ears really that sensitive?

"Jim", Spock breathed heavily into his ear. "You are treading on dangerous ground. Cease this teasing immediately."

"You are way too coherent, Commander", Kirk replied. "What does it take to crack this Vulcan shell of yours?" He did what Spock had explicitly warned him not to do and nibbled on his ear again while simultaneously taking one of his hands in his and entwining their fingers.

Jim couldn't speak for his partner, but his last clear thought was that he had outdone himself before a furious Vulcan pressed a hot mouth on his and bit down on his lip.


	4. Chapter 4

It didn't have to be awkward, Jim thought as he stretched cautiously on the empty bed, but the blasted Vulcan just couldn't stay the night with me.

He carefully propped himself up on his elbows and groaned. God, everything hurt. He realized it was his own damn fault, of course, but that didn't stop him from cursing all the powers above for his sore muscles.

He smiled wickedly at last night's memory.

Perhaps it had been worth the pain after all. Either way, Jim had been shocked to experience just how much stronger than humans Vulcans were. The blond could usually hold his own in a fight and was pretty confident in his body and abilities, but Spock had thrown him around like he was weightless. He was suddenly glad the race was a peaceful one. His wouldn't stand a chance should they decide to declare war against them.

Jim sat up fully and scanned the room. Unlike the living room, this one was empty. There were no pictures, no ornaments, no sculptures. And most prominently: no Spock.

The bed was cold, so the Vulcan and his body-heat had been gone for a while. Kirk snarled. He didn't like that one bit.

He had already moved towards the door when he realized that he had left his clothes in the living room last night. Great. Now he had to face the awkward conversation that was sure to follow naked. Sighing, Kirk opened the door and stepped into the living room.

He couldn't decide whether he should be glad or disappointed when he noticed that Spock was gone. Frowning, he picked up his clothes from the floor and looked for a note of some kind. There was nothing, of course, and it wasn't like he'd expected something, but it still hurt.

He dressed as quickly as humanly possible, ignoring the pain searing through his overstrained body, and told himself that the ache he was feeling in his heart was just the symptom of another sore muscle.

He hurried out of the room without turning back.

* * *

"You didn't come home last night", Bones noticed with a slight frown when Jim picked him up from one of his classes after taking a shower and changing into his uniform.

"Aw, you noticed?", he pretended to fight a blush. "I knew you couldn't stand being without me. You love me too much." He leaned over and tried to press a wet kiss on his friend's cheek.

"Don't get near me with that mouth!", Bones warned him and skilfully jumped out of the way. "God alone knows where you've been with that thing."

"Ouch, that hurt", Jim chuckled, but continued walking without harassing his friend further.

"Yeah, yeah, put it on the list", the doctor grumbled. "So are you gonna tell me or what?"

"Am I gonna tell you... WHAT?", Jim asked with his most innocent smile.

"Where you've been with that mouth, idiot", Bones clapped him on the head with his flat hand. "Spit it out already. I've been worried to death when I woke up this morning and you weren't there. For a second I thought you went to your classes on time!"

"Bones!", the blond looked at him in mock horror. "How could you even consider that? I thought you knew me better than this."

"Aye, and that's why I'm fully aware that that's not what you've been doing", the doctor snorted. "You spent the night. I can smell it."

"Really?", Jim asked, suddenly insecure, and tried to sniff himself.

"Yeah, but that's only because I know your morning-after stench", Bones shrugged. "Everyone else can probably be fooled."

"Am I glad for that", Kirk rolled his eyes.

"Tell me what happened, Jim", the doctor sighed. "You don't look so hot."

"That is the meanest thing you've ever said to me", he pouted.

"You know what I mean. And that's exactly it", Bones pointed at him. "You look like he chewed you through and spit you out."

"Well, that's basically what he did, so I guess it's all right", Jim shrugged.

"So you did sleep with him?", the doctor asked surprised. Despite his earlier teasing it still came as a slight shock, whether he had expected it or not.

"Yes, Bones", the blond sighed. "I slept with him."

"And?", his friend pressed expectantly.

"And it was hot", Kirk continued. "He does that thing with his fingers where-"

"GOOD GOD, stop talking, kid!", Bones yelled and put his hand over Jim's mouth in horror. "I don't want the details, idiot! I meant what happened after!"

"Oh", Jim chuckled. "You should have just said that, you know."

"Yeah, next time I'll be wiser", the doctor rolled his eyes. "And don't think I haven't noticed your evasion of the topic. I know you too well, Jim. You're not telling me something."

"I'M not telling you something?", Kirk frowned. "What about you?"

"Whaddaya mean?", Bones asked confused.

"When were you gonna tell me about the little chat you had with Spock about my allergies?", Jim pointed an accusing finger at him. "I know you talked to him, Bones. Don't try to deny it."

"Jeez, relax", the doctor forced Kirk's hand down with his own. "Yeah, he dropped by the clinic yesterday. So what?"

"You gave him my file", Jim said as if that explained everything.

"No, I didn't", McCoy frowned. "Do you think I'd give him a list of all your STDs?"

"I don't have-"

"Shut up. You know what I mean", Bones frowned. "He asked me about your allergies and I told him. I figured you'd like that more than me tagging along on your date to make sure you don't die."

"I can take care of myself", Jim pouted.

"Yeah, right", his friend snorted. "Did you or did you not try to order something you shouldn't eat?"

"How do you know that?", Kirk fixed him suspiciously.

"I've spent the last two years with you and your reckless idiocy! Whaddaya think how I know it?", Bones cried.

"Good point", Jim admitted and opened the door to the café they'd been walking to.

"So are you gonna tell me what happened, or what?", the doctor pressed and followed his friend inside.

"It was... nothing", Kirk gestured vaguely with his hands. "It was weird. The evening was nice, I went home with him, we had steaming hot sex", Jim smiled at his friend's disgusted grimace, "and then I woke up alone. That's it. End of story."

"So not the fairy tale ending you hoped for, huh?", Bones asked sympathetically.

"I didn't hope for anything, really", Jim mused. His friend looked at him unconvinced. "Honest! It's just... I don't know. It felt right. I don't know what happened."

"Maybe he just had an early class?", the doctor suggested.

"That's what I thought", Kirk nodded. "So I hacked into the system and downloaded his schedule."

"And?"

"And he didn't have one", Jim sighed. "At least not that early. So I thought maybe it was an experiment that couldn't wait or something."

"No luck there either, huh?", Bones smiled sympathetically at his friend.

"Nothing official. Perhaps..." He stopped. "I don't know." He leaned on the counter and ordered their typical selection plus a Vulcan mocha. The barista put the coffees down and he handed McCoy his drink. Then he took the other two, and they left in silence.

"I take it the sweet stuff isn't for you?", the doctor eventually asked and pointed to the extra cup in Jim's hands.

"I checked his schedule", the blond sighed. "He has a class now, but after that he should be in his office."

"So you're giving him another chance?", Bones asked to make sure.

"Perhaps I don't have to", his friend argued. "I mean I don't know if he was busy this morning or just an ass. What if there was something urgent that required his attention, and I'M being the ass for doubting him?"

"You're right", the doctor nodded vaguely. "Better talk to him."

Jim snorted in response and continued walking with a distinctly unhappy expression on his face. Bones sighed and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Look, kid", he started uncomfortably when his friend had turned around to face him. "I don't know what to tell ya. I don't know what's going on in the hobgoblin's weird... mighty... Vulcan brain, but... I've watched you date a million-"

"Hey!"

"-a million people and aliens and whatever can walk and talk, really-"

"Bones!"

"-perhaps not even talk, but-"

"You're not helping."

"-but the pointy-eared bastard is the first one to actually ask me for advice to make sure you're all right, so...", he looked like he expected the next words to cause him physical pain, "don't be too hard on him."

Jim stared at him dumbstruck for a full minute.

Bones shifted uncomfortably on the spot under his friend's disbelieving glare.

"Huh", Kirk eventually made and closed his mouth. "He did talk to you."

"Yes, I told you that minutes ago", Bones frowned impatiently.

"No, I mean..." Jim stopped and suddenly gave the other man the first real smile of the day. "He cares." He put special emphasis on the last word to make sure the doctor understood it. "Even if I did scare him off last night. He liked me enough to endure you."

"Why am I even friends with you?", Bones mumbled, but he was secretly happy for the glowing man beside him.

"Because you love me", Jim answered simply and resumed walking with a lighter step than before, despite the pain that was still rushing through his body.

* * *

Finding Spock's office was easy. Waiting for him to turn up was not.

Jim tried to distract himself with anything else, but suddenly his brain seemed empty. All the pictures invading his mind involved a burning Vulcan licking his way down Kirk's body, and he was not willing to mentally relive the joy of last night in a crowded hallway with people staring at him.

If he was to take a wild guess, he would have thought that this particular instructor didn't get too many visitors. The way passers-by looked at him, he expected to have turned into a unicorn over night without noticing, and looked down on himself to make sure that he hadn't. He rewarded them with a carefree smile and a nod of the head and kept waiting.

To be fair, Spock was on time, as was to be expected. It was just that Jim had been early, but that didn't matter anymore. As soon as their eyes met over passing heads, Kirk wasn't sure he could be angry at the Vulcan for anything ever again.

He made sure he wasn't drooling, took a deep breath and straightened his posture before greeting him with a bright smile. I'm not pissed, he thought, I'm sure you have an explanation, or so help you God-

"Hey!", he said cheerfully and watched Spock unlocking his office in silence before slipping in noiselessly like a cat. Jim didn't let that lack of greeting throw him off and followed him inside.

The Vulcan had his back turned to him and was laying his PADD down on the table. Kirk's smile faltered slightly. He still hadn't given any sign of recognition.

"You left early", Jim noticed and watched Spock slowly turn around to face him. His expression was carefully guarded. "So I thought... I don't know if you drink coffee or not, but I figured if you do you probably didn't have the time to do so this morning since you were obviously in a hurry, and now I brought you this", he rattled on and gestured lamely to the cup in his hand. He had discarded of his own on his way here.

"Coffee", Spock said flatly, his face revealing nothing.

"Yes", Jim tried his best not to fidget under his gaze. "It's Vulcan mocha. I'm not sure if you like that or not, but I figured since it's... well, Vulcan, it would be my best shot. So..." He stretched out his hand with the cup towards the alien standing as far away from him as possible.

Spock eyed the beverage without any sign of emotion and slowly approached Jim like a panther sneaking up on its prey. Once they were standing face to face, Kirk could see a definite bite mark peeking out from underneath his collar.

He blushed a faint pink at the memory and cleared his throat in an attempt to regain his composure. He knew he didn't look any better. In fact, there were unambiguous bruises on his neck as well, but other than Spock's, his couldn't be hidden beneath his clothing at all.

The Vulcan's quick look at his throat told Jim that he had noticed too. No point in denying anything has happened now, huh, Spock?, Jim thought bitterly.

He watched the alien carefully move his hand towards Kirk's, obviously trying to avoid any contact, but the blond would have none of that. He deliberately moved his fingers as soon as Spock's had gripped the cup so they brushed lightly.

They almost dropped the coffee.

Spock breathed in sharply, and Jim gulped audibly as he watched the Vulcan's eyes grow darker. There was a dangerous sparkle in them that reminded Kirk of last night, and he desperately tried to fight the heat rising inside of him that had little to do with the one the alien was radiating, suddenly so much closer than he had been a second before. Or was he imagining it?

"Why did you leave?", Jim breathed, mesmerized by the human eyes holding him on the spot.

"I was unaware that my presence was required", Spock said simply, his gaze never wavering.

"Not REQUIRED", Kirk allowed quietly. "But I wouldn't have any objections against waking up beside you."

"I see", the Vulcan replied motionlessly. God, had he even opened his mouth?

Jim slowly moved his fingers so they were covering Spock's without averting his gaze.

"Next time I'd just... like to know you're still there", he murmured and leaned in carefully. "For a second I thought you were running from me."

Spock didn't reply, and that was partly Jim's fault. He had pressed his lips on the hotter alien ones and pushed their bodies together. He put his free hand into the black hair, and when the Vulcan put his tongue into his mouth, he grabbed it so hard it must have hurt. Spock didn't complain however. He simply spun them around and led them to the desk where he put down the coffee. Once his hand was free, he entwined their fingers and firmly pressed them together.

The growl he uttered at that was almost enough to make Jim come then and there. He released his iron grip on the Vulcan's hair and gently massaged his ear instead.

Spock bit down on his lip so hard, he could taste blood.

Jim groaned, only half-noticing the burning hand moving under his shirt and gripping his hips, pulling him firmly closer. He released Spock's lips with a gasp and licked his way along the heated jaw towards the other sensitive ear. When he sucked on the tip, the Vulcan buried his teeth in a free spot above Kirk's collar with a feral growl.

Perhaps it was a good thing someone chose this exact moment to knock on the door.

Jim slumped back on the desk with a heavy sigh, and he was delighted to notice that even Spock needed a second to regain his composure. Of course the blasted Vulcan was already standing perfectly calm like nothing had happened, shirt tucked straight, when Kirk was still trying to control his breathing.

Spock considered him with a quick glance, then turned towards the door and said "Enter", like he had just spent ten minutes on explaining the physics of the warp drive to Jim, rather than kiss him senseless.

Kirk would have laughed, hadn't he been so busy fighting any unasked for physical signs of his arousal when the door opened.

Uhura wasn't stupid. Jim could pinpoint the exact second she put two and two together after she had examined their dishevelled hair and clothing. There was also the fresh, bleeding cut on his lip that might have given them away.

She took it with dignity, Jim had to give her that. Her expression didn't change, and she didn't so much as flinch when Kirk tried to straighten his uniform. Instead, she calmly averted her gaze to Spock, ignoring the blond's existence like she was used to.

"I had an enquiry about a certain dialect for the next Phonology lesson", she stated calmly, and her eyes flickered towards Kirk for a second, "but I can come back later if this is not a good time."

Jim wished the earth would swallow him whole.

Uhura must have guessed by now that his mysterious date had been Spock. He didn't doubt for a second that she knew this wasn't a casual fling for him. His reputation was about to be ruined, he was certain of that. Once she walked out of there, the whole Academy would know. Not that he didn't deserve it. He had pestered her more than one too many times to expect her to not give him a taste of his own medicine.

He sighed internally. While relations between an instructor and a student weren't exactly forbidden, they were indeed heavily frowned upon. No one would dare question a Vulcan's integrity, he was certain of it, but he didn't want to drag Spock into the spotlight like that. He shot a pleading glance towards Uhura and mentally begged her not to tell anyone.

She wasn't looking at him, of course. Her eyes were fixed on Spock, and Jim realized that they'd been talking about something when he hadn't been paying attention.

"Cadet Kirk was about to leave", the Vulcan explained, and Jim took this as his cue to do just that. He cleared his throat, and walked past Uhura in a dignified manner, only slightly wincing at the pain of his sore muscles.

"See you later, Uhura", he managed to wink with a cocky smile and hurried out of the room.

* * *

"And that was that", Jim ended his report. He was lying unhappily on McCoy's doctor's couch and stared at the ceiling.

"Ouch", his friend chuckled. "Did she look shocked?" He took out a bottle of something from a cabinet and poured it into a glass.

"Bones, you're not supposed to drink when you're on duty", Jim frowned when he saw what the doctor was doing.

The man whacked him with a bag before handing him the glass.

"I'm a doctor, idiot, not an alcoholic!", he grumbled and sat down on a chair opposite the couch. "That's for you. It's supposed to relax your muscles."

"How did you-?", Jim started surprised, but Bones interrupted him swiftly.

"You've been walking oddly all day. I'd hoped you'd drop by on your own, otherwise I'd have had to hunt you down with a hypo myself", he explained. "Now shut up and drink it."

"All right, mother hen", Jim mumbled and did as he was told. "That's disgusting", he noticed as soon as he'd swallowed the blue liquid down and made a grimace.

"If you'd be more careful who you jump into bed with, you wouldn't have to taste it", Bones reminded him mercilessly and took the glass from him. Jim sunk back and laid down again. "Or you could just take it like a man, but I think that's out of the question."

"Hey!", Jim cried offended. "You offered! I WAS taking it like a man!"

"No", the doctor laughed. "You were taking it like someone had just beaten you to bits. You could just as well have worn a sign that said 'look at me, I nailed a Vulcan'."

"Oh, shut up", Kirk muttered. "Don't you have anything useful to say?"

"Like what?", Bones asked. "Don't put your finger into the wiring, don't drive a car off a cliff, don't-"

"Oh, you know what!", Jim interrupted him impatiently. "What am I supposed to do now? I showed up at his office, and he treated me like he didn't even know me at first. Then he warmed up and... well, Uhura walked in. Give me some advice, old man, and stop laughing at my pain!"

"I'm not laughing", the doctor assured him. "It's more of a manly chuckle, really."

"Bones!", Kirk cried and glared at him as dangerously as he could.

"All right, all right", Bones held up his hands in defeat. "Why don't you do what you always do and force yourself on the poor bastard, whether he likes it or not?"

"Not about Spock", Jim whined. "About Uhura! Should I tell Pike about this... thing between us? I didn't want to because I'm not sure what to call it myself yet, but if she tells anyone..."

"I'm not gonna lie, kid", his friend said seriously. "If this comes out, they could have both your asses for it."

"That's comforting, thanks, Bones", Jim said unhappily.

"BUT I don't think Uhura will tell anyone. No", he said firmly when Kirk gave him a sceptic look, "she's not like that. I know you've annoyed the crap out of her, but she still wouldn't tell on you. Either of you. Especially not without definite proof."

Kirk sighed. That was probably true.

"I'll talk to Spock about it", he eventually said. "If he thinks we should let Pike put it into our files... Whatever. It's not like I actually need his course anyway."

"That's the smartest thing you've said since you got here", Bones noticed and evaded a punch from his friend.

* * *

Jim took his friend's advice this evening and forced himself on the Vulcan. He gave Spock a small chance to avoid his advances this time, because he sent him a message informing him of his planned visit, but when the Vulcan neither objected, nor agreed, he simply dropped by.

Sure enough, as soon as Kirk knocked on the door, the tall figure was there, leading him inside, gesturing him to sit down on his usual chair.

"Is this my seat now?", Jim joked when he had settled in.

Spock merely raised a questioning eyebrow at that.

"You know", the blond gestured around the room. "Every time I'm here, I sit in this exact same chair. It's becoming a habit."

The Vulcan still did nothing but stare at him like he had lost his mind.

"It's an illogical human thing, Spock", Jim sighed. "Forget it. It's fine. I'll just declare it as my place, whether you understand the sentiment behind it or not."

The alien turned around in silence and didn't break it until he had put two plates down on the table and settled in a chair himself.

"You are distressed", he noticed with a raised eyebrow when Jim still hadn't taken a bite of his meal after playing around with the fork for at least two minutes.

"No", Kirk said quickly. When he saw the unconvinced look in the Vulcan's eyes, he sighed. "Yes. I'm sorry. I was just... wondering."

His statement was met with curious silence, so he had to go on.

"Do you think we should tell Pike about... this?", he gestured vaguely with his hands between them.

"Do you think the Captain would profit from an intimate knowledge of our personal life?", Spock asked drily, and Jim realized immediately that it was the Vulcan equivalent of a joke. He chuckled lightly and continued playing with his fork.

"No", he mused. "But you know the regulations. We shouldn't-" He frowned. "He should probably know."

"When the situation requires it, we will inform him of... 'this'", Spock replied without moving a facial muscle. "Until then, I suggest we avoid any unnecessary publicity."

"If you say so", Jim said unconvinced, but he didn't want to argue. "It's your turn to play white."


	5. Chapter 5

San Francisco was starting to experience the first signs of a cold winter. Snow was beginning to cover the Academy grounds, and more and more students were roaming the halls packed away securely behind a scarf and/or fighting an approaching illness. Bones and the other doctors spent more time treating patients than they strictly had beside their studies, and it seemed like a miracle to Jim when he finally convinced his friend to accompany him to the mall.

Naturally, this happened under a lot of good-natured grumbling and cursing, and even more 'I'm a doctor, not a puppy's, when his friend had insisted he needed him to tag along.

"Dammit, Jim", the doctor whined while his friend was browsing through a store. "Why are we doing this? I thought Vulcans didn't do Christmas!"

"They don't", Kirk agreed, not looking at his friend. He was searching for something specific, and he was certain this was the place to find it.

"Then why am I even here, idiot?", Bones took a cushion from one of the stands and hit the blond with it. "If you don't need me to find a goddamn present for your precious Vulcan, why did you drag me here?"

Jim ignored him and threw an assessing glance over the store's selection. "Aha!", he made finally and rushed towards a slightly hidden cart.

"Are you kidding?", the doctor frowned as he watched his friend take out something. "THIS is what we came here for? Really? A blanket?"

"Not just any blanket!", Jim corrected him. "Can't you see how fluffy it is? Here", he put McCoy's hand on the soft fabric.

"Yeah, it's great", Bones grumbled. "For a BLANKET." He fixed his friend with a dangerous sparkle in his eyes. "What am I doing here, Jim?"

"You know I've been spending a lot of time at Spock's place-", Kirk started, ignoring McCoy's original question.

"No shit?", the doctor snorted. "I almost hadn't noticed."

"You missed me, don't try to deny it", Jim pointed a warning finger at him. Bones just stared at him motionlessly, and Kirk sighed.

"Anyway", he lightly moved on. "Spock always turns down the environmental controls when I'm there so I don't get uncomfortable. He thinks I don't notice he's freezing his ass off, but I do. So I thought I'd force him to accept this blanket so he can stop trying to impress me."

"As a doctor, I think this is a very good idea", McCoy agreed almost impressed. "As your friend, I repeat: WHY the hell am I here?"

"Bones", Jim sighed and looked at his friend with a serious expression for the first time since they left the Academy this afternoon. "You've been working too hard lately."

"Now, don't start with-", his friend tried to argue, but Kirk stopped him with an insistent hand on his shoulder.

"You know you have", he said with emphasis. "Don't think I haven't noticed just because I spend the night with Spock. You're my best friend. And I have been neglecting you."

"Jeez, kid, I don't need-", Bones grumbled uncomfortably, but Jim interrupted him again.

"No, I have", he assured him. "We spent two years constantly at each other's side. Neither of us has ever had something like a relationship before. It's weird not coming home to your constant nagging. And I know you aren't unaffected either, so don't even try to convince me you're fine without me."

"I'm a grown man, Jim", the doctor put his hand on top of the one on his shoulder, "I can live on my own."

"Of course you can", the blond shot him a little smile, "but it's still weird. We're not used to this. It's been... what? Almost two months now? Every time I come to pick you up, I feel like we haven't seen each other in ages!" He looked distinctly unhappy now. "And that's not true! We meet every day! So why isn't it enough?"

Bones looked at him motionlessly for a very long time. Eventually, he sighed and slightly shook his head.

"I don't know, kid", he said. "We've been too close for too long than was good for us." He pointed at Jim with a glare. "But you have the hobgoblin now, so pester him with your unfortunate existence."

"Not a chance!", Kirk smiled brightly. "Spock already gets me in the evening. My days belong to you, oh mighty mother-hen."

"Hey, you dragged me out here despite my insistence that I don't have the time to look after you!", Bones reminded him. "I told you to go play with the elf, kid, but you wouldn't listen."

"You know Spock's busy", Jim replied, still grinning.

"So am I!", the doctor frowned. "Don't you have any other friends you can pester?"

"Sulu has classes to attend", the blond admitted. "I asked him if he was up for a training combat, but the exams are getting closer and everyone's panicking right now."

"What about that asshole Finnegan?", the older man asked. "Couldn't you have tackled him?"

"I wasn't looking for a fight, Bones", Jim frowned. "I wanted to spend time with you, if at all possible dragging you away from your constant clinic duty."

"And if I hadn't agreed to be abducted?", the doctor asked sceptically.

"Then I would have pestered you in the clinic", Jim replied with a straight face.

"You would have", Bones snorted, but left it at that. "So do you have a present for the hobgoblin?"

"You mean for Christmas?", the blond asked while he was paying for the blanket. He put it into a bag, and they walked out of the shop. McCoy simply nodded and Jim grinned. "Yup. Ordered it ages ago. Actually, it should arrive today, so don't freak out when you get home."

"Why?", Bones snorted. "Did you get him a wild sehlat or something?"

"No", Jim said and curiously tilted his head. "But that would have been awesome!"

"Don't even think about it!", the doctor warned. "You're not putting something like that in my room, or you will suffer through every remaining physical of your life with more agony than you can possibly imagine."

"Okay, okay, I got it", Jim laughed and put up his hands in surrender. "Jeez, relax. It's not a pet. It's a plant."

"A plant", Bones repeated flatly and stared at his friend like he was waiting for the punchline.

"Yeah, it's native to Vulcan. Some unspeakable name, but it looked nice on the pictures", Kirk shrugged. "His bedroom's really empty, so I figured he should have something to put in there. And since his whole apartment is filled with Vulcan stuff, this seemed... logical."

Bones stared at him in silence throughout the whole explanation. Once he was finished, he slowly shook his head in disbelief.

"I can't believe you're doing Christmas with the Vulcan", he groaned eventually. "Does he know about this?"

"No", Jim said firmly. "And he won't find out until the blasted plant is standing in his bedroom."

"Whatever you say, kid", Bones sighed. "Just make sure my present arrives in time. I have a feeling that I'll need it."

"Ha!", Kirk laughed heartily. "You think you know what you're getting! Cute. It's not what you think though, I can reveal that much."

"Yeah, right", the doctor snorted. "Don't pretend you've suddenly changed all your habits just because you're in a damn relationship."

"You'll see", Jim said vaguely. "Let's get back, my nose is about to fall off."

* * *

When Jim got home that night, Spock was sitting on his usual place at the table, bent over his PADD, slightly frowning - for a Vulcan, which of course meant that there was nothing more visible than a hint of a crease between his eyes. Kirk was willing to bet everything he owned on his assumption that he was the only one who could read the stoic alien. He leaned on the door for a minute, smiling at the sight in front of him. Spock could get so absorbed in his work, he couldn't help but find it cute. He had told him that one day, and the alien had firmly insisted that he had never been, nor ever could be anything as illogically human as 'cute'. He grinned at the memory.

"Jim", Spock finally acknowledged his presence without looking up. "I believe your time would be put to better use were you to direct your attention to matters unrelated to observing my current position."

"Is that you're way of saying 'stop staring at me'?", he chuckled and pushed himself off from the door.

"I believe that is what I just said", Spock replied without bothering a single facial muscle.

"Why, aren't you cheerful today", Jim noticed and walked over to the alien, slowly putting his arms around the tense shoulders. He allowed himself to simply enjoy the heat leaking through the fabric for a second before he leaned close to Spock's ear and nibbled carefully on the tip.

The Vulcan turned into a statue underneath his fingers, but Jim didn't let that stop him. He simply put more effort into his advances and exhaled a hot breath into the pointed ear.

"Jim", Spock groaned warningly, but his partner ignored him.

"I know, I know", he whispered. "You're working. To be fair: you don't look too happy about it right now, so I figured you need a break."

There was no reaction, Jim wasn't even sure the alien in his arms was breathing anymore, so he sighed and let go. Spock immediately resumed working, prompting Kirk to throw him an irritated glance he didn't see.

"I got you something", he said and threw the blanket straight into his face. The Vulcan caught it skilfully, revealing that he had apparently watched Jim after all, and stared at the new item in his hands. He raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I know why you've been so gloomy lately", Jim explained. "Spock, I know Vulcan is way hotter than earth, especially in winter. It's fine to acknowledge that you're cold. And I know", he raised his voice when he noticed his partner was about argue, "you'd rather freeze to death than admit it, but it's clearly uncomfortable for you here. I told you not to turn down the environmental controls for me, but since you won't listen, I got you this."

Spock observed him quietly for a second, then he raised his eyebrow.

"The current conditions are acceptable", he said. "There is no need for such an item."

"Could you please stop trying to impress me?", Jim frowned. "I don't want you to get sick just because you're stubborn! And if you can't just admit even Vulcans have trouble adjusting to certain conditions, fine. Then at least accept it as a present from me and use it because I ask you to."

He strode into the bedroom without waiting for a reply that never was to come anyway and changed into something more comfortable. He put on loose pants from his overnight bag and one of Spock's jumpers and grabbed his PADD. When he came back, he snatched the blanket out of the Vulcan's probing hands and sat down on the couch without looking up. He put the soft fabric around his shoulders and entered something on his PADD.

"If you're not gonna use it, I will", the blond stated simply. "I would prefer it if you joined me though." He demonstratively lifted the right side of the blanket up and held Spock's gaze. The Vulcan's eyes travelled from Jim to his hand and back, and eventually he uttered the silent equivalent of a sigh and abandoned his chair in favour of the couch. He stiffly sat down a few inches away from Kirk and diverted his attention back to his PADD.

Jim chuckled slightly and slid as close as possible, pressing his right side to the Vulcan's left, putting the blanket around the warm shoulders in one quick motion. Once he was settled in, he noticed, pleased with himself, that some of the tension of his partner's shoulders had vanished. Feeling daring, he put up his feet on the couch to lean his PADD against them and sneaked his right hand into Spock's left and entwined their fingers.

The Vulcan looked stoically down on his work, but Jim felt a faint pressure squeezing his hand, apparently not intending to let go. He smiled warmly and turned his attention to his own assignments, using his left hand to switch between pages. It wasn't ideal, but he was starting to get used to it.

"How was your day, Spock?", Jim broke the silence a few minutes later, revelling in the heat the Vulcan was radiating.

"Reasonably interesting", came the absent reply.

"Yeah? Did your research on possible time travel finally reveal something?", he pressed while he was scanning through an article.

"Perhaps", Spock said vaguely. "The practical application remains to be seen, but the theory looks promising."

"That's something", Jim smiled. "You've been at it for weeks now, it's about time something came out of it. Is that what you're doing now?" He pointed at the PADD in his hands.

"Negative", the Vulcan said. "This is an update for an academic test I have been programming for the last four years."

"Really?", the blond looked up, interest sparkling in his eyes. "Have I taken it?"

"I do not think it wise to reveal this information", Spock told him and met his gaze.

"You're such a spoilsport", he whined. "At least tell me if it's part of my track. Is it obligatory?"

"Jim", the Vulcan warned him, but there was a hint of a smile playing around his eyes.

"Fine", the human sighed. "Whatever. I will find out eventually. I'm sure you won't be able to resist criticising my performance once I've taken it anyway."

"I would never-", Spock started, a slight frown appearing between his eyes.

"You know what I mean", Jim waved him off. "Tell me how I could have 'improved' my results by 'logically' following the steps you will tell me I should have taken then. You won't stop explaining what I could have done better until I know everything by heart, and I will make you sleep on the couch for having so little faith in me. It will be fun."

"Are you aware that these are, in fact, my quarters?", the Vulcan asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't play the couch-card", Kirk said and pointed a warning finger at him.

"You could simply sleep in your own quarters in any such event", he noticed without so much as blinking.

"I want to punish you, not me", Jim frowned. "It's not my fault you can't accept my unique way of handling things. Why should I suffer?"

In response, Spock only put down his PADD and took the human hand in both of his. He gently massaged it for a few seconds, then he moved one of his hands towards Jim's face and traced his jaw with one of his long fingers. The human leaned into the touch and closer towards his partner, sighing almost inaudibly.

"Of course it will be pretty hard to cast you out onto the couch when you do that", he pointed out and moved his head so he could take one of Spock's fingers into his mouth. He slowly licked it and bit down gently, prompting the Vulcan to grab Kirk's hand in a hard grip, growling slightly.

Jim released the finger in his mouth so he could drag Spock closer with his free hand and cover it with the Vulcan's hotter one.

"Are you done?", he asked breathlessly once they had parted and pointed at the forgotten PADD in the alien's lap. Instead of responding, Spock simply took both his and Jim's device and put them onto the floor before he practically jumped the blond and pressed him down on the couch, keeping him in place with his warm weight.

"I take that as a yes."

* * *

"I want you to know how much I hate you for putting me in this position", Bones told him bluntly and groaned audibly at the weight in his hands.

"Yes, yes, I know", Jim forced out between his teeth. "You've told me that no less than three times since we left the building. And an additional four times while we were still inside." He adjusted his grip on the flower pot and heaved it up a few inches. On the other side, his friend snorted and cursed.

"How can this damn thing be so heavy anyway?", the doctor asked unhappily. "Couldn't you just get your Vulcan a local rose or something? ANYTHING I wouldn't have to help you carrying, really."

"Thanks, Bones", the blond rolled his eyes. "How was I supposed to know it would grow that much in such a short time?"

"You were the one who bought it! Didn't you look up what you were getting, for heaven's sake?", McCoy grumbled and threw a dark look at a passing student who dared meet his eyes. "People are staring. They think – almost as certain of it as I am – that we're insane."

"Oh, come on, Bones", Jim said good-naturedly and smiled at the passersby. "It's hardly bigger than us."

"Hardly bigger than us?", the doctor almost shrieked. "It's like... 7 feet tall, goddammit!"

"Did you ever consider that it might be easier for you to carry if you stopped complaining so much and saved your breath?", Kirk wondered. He was just humouring his friend, knowing that the arguing kept him distracted. In truth, he too had troubles with the unexpected weight of the plant and more than sympathized with what McCoy was going on about. That thing was heavy.

In response, the doctor just snorted, but he took Jim's advice and kept quiet until they reached Spock's quarters. Kirk had learned the entrance code from his partner weeks ago, and he had made sure the Vulcan wouldn't be home until late afternoon, more probably evening, because apparently SOMEONE had released a virus that had infected every single computer in the science labs.

Oops, Kirk thought and allowed himself a small smile before facing the task of getting the plant through the door.

"Jim, it's too friggin' big", McCoy sighed. "We won't make it."

"That's what you said when we had to get it through our door", his friend pointed out.

"Damn right, I did", the doctor grumbled. "And my head still hurts from when that damn thing fell on me. Thanks for that, by the way. Great going."

"Physician, heal thyself", Jim laughed. "And that was hardly my fault! It's not like I pushed it-"

"You DID push it", Bones interrupted him.

"Because you told me to!", the blond cried.

"Yes, but not on ME, idiot!"

"I told you I was sorry", Kirk said. "Next time you want to move a freakishly large alien plant, you know where to find me, but right now we have to deliver this one."

He tugged in a determined manner at the flower pot and tried to somehow manoeuvre it through the doorway. On the other side, Bones did his best to put it in a horizontal position, but the narrow hallway didn't make it an easy task. Eventually they managed to force it through the entrance and sighed in relief when the door closed behind them.

"See?", Jim asked enthusiastically. "That wasn't so bad."

The doctor glared at him from behind the plant, unsuccessfully trying to blow a branch out of his face.

"Get out of my life", he grumbled, but moved with Jim towards the left-hand corner of the living room. They both exhaled audibly when they put the flower pot down and shared a moment of tiredly accomplished silence.

"I thought you wanted it in the bedroom", McCoy pointed out when they had both dropped down on the couch and admired their work.

"That was before I knew how big it was", Jim explained with closed eyes. "I'll let Spock drag it in there later, but right now we have to go shopping."

"What? Again?", McCoy whined. "I just dragged your damn pet plant over to your boyfriend's place. I have fulfilled my duties as your best friend. Bother me again next year."

"Shut up, he's not my boyfriend", Kirk said and pushed him lightly.

"Oh yeah? Could've fooled me", the doctor snorted. "What with you living here and all."

"I don't LIVE here", Jim clarified. "I don't even keep a toothbrush. He's like... insanely private. I'm scared he might suffer a stroke if I were to put any of my stuff in here."

"Seriously?", Bones frowned. "NOTHING?"

"I have an overnight bag, but I take that back to our place every day. Sometimes I forget my PADD. Then it mysteriously turns up on my own bed the next morning", the blond sighed.

"Wow", the doctor said flatly. "That's pathetic." He started chuckling and didn't stop until it had developed in open laughter that provoked a small smile out of Jim.

"Shut up", he said and shoved his friend to the other end of the couch. "It's more than you have."

"Spoken like a true lovebird", Bones noticed and wiped tears from the corners of his eyes.

"He's just...", Jim struggled to find the right word.

"Unresponsive? Unappreciative? Cold?", his friend offered.

"Vulcan", Kirk closed with a stern look at the man beside him.

"Aye, that he is", he nodded.

"I thought you liked him", the blond frowned.

"I do", Bones assured him. "He's just so... logical. There's no emotion, no feeling. He's like an overly warm fish. And he's not treating you well."

"Hey! He's not-", Jim started to defend the Vulcan, but his friend interrupted him.

"Yes, I know he's... 'nice' to you, but...", the doctor fidgeted on the couch. He looked faintly uncomfortable. "Don't you think it's weird? I mean I get it, he's a Vulcan, they're not exactly the most expressive race, blabla. It just seems so imbalanced, you know."

"What do you mean?", Jim asked curiously.

"You know", McCoy flailed with his arms, "you're always sending him messages he never or rarely replies to, and if he does, they're short and scientific like 'acknowledged' or 'affirmative'. When you do something nice for him he doesn't even say thank you. He just nods and moves on. Like when you pick him up from one of his courses. He hardly even looks at you! I've seen it. I wanted to punch him, and I'm not the one who's dating him. And he always finds excuses not to go out with you."

"You know he's really busy, Bones", Kirk pointed out, but there was something gnawing at the corners of his mind. His friend was right about all the things he had just said, and he hadn't been the only one to notice them. Spock hadn't been out in public with Jim ever since their first date, and whenever the blond surprised him in front of a classroom, he treated him like a stranger until they were back in his office or quarters.

"Yeah?", the doctor snorted. "Well, I'm really busy too, and I'm always there when you ask me to, aren't I? Besides, he seems to have plenty of time when you're playing chess with him. How come I wouldn't even know what he looked like hadn't he paid me a visit once? He'd never have agreed to a meeting with your best friend had you suggested it, and you know that."

"What are you trying to say, Bones?", Jim asked carefully, fixing his friend with an intent stare.

"Just...", McCoy sighed and slowly shook his head. "Be careful, kid. That's all I'm saying. You got into this too deep, too fast. I don't wanna watch you get hurt, is all."

"Thanks, Bones", Kirk said honestly. "But I'm a grown man. I can take care of myself."

"I sure hope so, kid", his friend said and stared at the plant in front of them. "Didn't you wanna go shopping?"

* * *

Since Jim and Bones had established to exchange gifts the next day so they could discuss Spock's behaviour during such an illogical terran holiday during the process, the blond had all day to himself and his partner. He smiled wickedly at the thought. He was certain he could come up with a few things the two of them could do.

His friend had hit a raw nerve that morning, but it was nothing Jim couldn't blend out. He was good at rationalizing by now. Otherwise he would drive himself crazy with overthinking their 'relationship', and that certainly wasn't what he was doing, oh no.

He sighed. He had a vague understanding of Vulcan culture, so Spock's behaviour didn't exactly come as a shock to him, but sometimes he couldn't help but wonder whether it was triggered by alien traditions or Jim as a person.

He frowned at his own musings. Hadn't he promised himself he wouldn't torture himself with such thoughts anymore? But hadn't Spock called him 'illogically human' on more occasions than Jim cared to remember?

He almost smiled at the irony when the Vulcan was the one to stop every thought process inside of Kirk's brain as he came trough the door.

"Hey, Spock", Jim greeted him and hurried over to put a chaste kiss on his lips. The Vulcan didn't like to be overly affectionate when he had just made it back from the outside world. He always needed some time to warm up after he had been gone for a while.

Spock allowed the brief touch of their lips and frowned slightly. The blond knew what was to come next.

"There was a most interesting phenomenon occurring in the science labs today", he said slowly.

"Really? What kind?", Jim asked with his most innocent smile in place, careful not to touch Spock so he wouldn't pick up any accidental thoughts of his.

"Apparently, someone programmed a virus which caused a chain reaction of infections, so whenever one system had been shut down, the next would be affected", he elaborated, his gaze intently fixed on Kirk's.

"Oh, that's clever", the blond nodded. "Any idea what the culprit expected to achieve with that?"

"I have yet to conclude that investigation", Spock said slowly, slightly raising an eyebrow when the other man didn't say anything further. "Jim, I am fully aware that this was your doing. The only remaining question is your motive."

"I needed you out of the apartment", Kirk explained, at least having the decency to look faintly guilty at having irritated his partner.

"And may I ask why?", the Vulcan said, eyebrow still raised, hands folded behind his back.

"So I could surprise you with this!", Jim smiled enthusiastically and pointed towards the plant in the corner.

Spock stared at it in silence for three whole minutes, without doing so much as blink. Eventually, he slightly tilted his head to one side and frowned.

"What purpose do these lights and ornaments serve?", he asked, eyes fixed on the decorated plant in front of him.

"They are Christmas decorations, Spock", Jim sighed. "I got you this plant as a present. It's native to Vulcan, but you probably already knew that. When I realized how big it had become, I noticed it somehow resembled a Christmas tree, and I decided to treat it as such."

That was a lie. It looked nothing like a Christmas tree. In fact, the only trait those two plants shared was that they were both freakishly big, but Kirk took a wild guess and assumed Spock didn't know that.

The Vulcan plant was taller than Jim, and it consisted of elegantly twisted branches circling around each other as a stem, eventually meeting at the top where they hung down like the leafs of a palm tree. There weren't any blossoms on it now, but according to the information he had read about the plant, they would come in spring or summer.

"Indeed", Spock said dispassionately, his gaze never wavering. Jim frowned. That was not the reaction he had hoped for.

"I wanted to put it in your bedroom later, but I see now that that's probably a bad idea. You don't seem too happy about this new piece of décor", he noticed with a note of disappointment.

The Vulcan turned around at that, looking at the other man for the first time since he had been made aware of the plant's existence.

"I apologize if that is the impression I gave", he said honestly, and Jim could see the sparkle in his eyes now. "I do, in fact, greatly appreciate this gift, for I am well acquainted with this particular type of flora. My mother's private garden happens to contain several of these specimens."

"You're kidding", Jim laughed, not quite believing his luck.

"I am indeed not 'kidding', as you said", Spock replied, but his eyes were smiling. "I thank you for your gift, and I would now like to show you yours, if you will allow me."

"I thought you didn't do Christmas!", the blond said surprised.

"Correct, but I do not strictly consider this to be a Christmas present. My giving it to you just so happens to coincide with the terran holiday", the Vulcan explained and gestured Jim to follow him to the bedroom. Once inside, he opened the closet and made a swift step to the right, almost leaning against the wall, so Kirk could peek inside it.

His heart skipped a beat.

"Does this...", he cleared his throat in what he hoped seemed to be an unemotional manner and tried again, "Does this mean what I think it means?"

Spock merely observed him with a raised eyebrow and a small smile playing around his eyes.

"That depends on whatever it is you consider it to signify", he replied vaguely.

Jim threw him a quick glance, then returned his attention to the empty half of the closet again.

"I think either I'm in the middle of an insanely realistic dream, or you just asked me to move in with you", he eventually shared his theory.

"Then it appears your brain functions are still in working order", the Vulcan nodded. The other man looked at him in shock for a few seconds, then threw himself at the tall figure near the wall.

"You stupid bastard", he murmured into the pointed ear. "Couldn't you just have said so and spared me the little heart-attack I just had?"

The warm chest pressed to his moved rapidly, and Kirk realized with justified amazement that Spock was chuckling.

"Hey!", he playfully nudged him, "That's not funny! I almost died. On Christmas! How could you do that to me?"

"I apologize", the Vulcan whispered lowly into his ear. He had stopped laughing, but his amusement was still obvious to his partner. "I must admit I had not anticipated such a strong emotional reaction from you, Jim. I was under the impression that you were expecting this step since it was clearly the logical one for us to make."

"Really?", the blond asked and leaned back in the embrace so he could look into Spock's eyes. "How so?"

"I thought the signs were fairly obvious."

"Enlighten me."

"Very well", the Vulcan complied, and Jim could literally see his instructor mode switch on. "The most obvious fact that prompted me to offer you this alternative living arrangement was, of course, that you already spend 82.538 percent of your free time in my quarters. You are only absent when you are gathering something from your own to return with them to mine, or to socialize with doctor McCoy or – less frequently – one of your other friends. With your relocation, you will be able to utilize your time in a more efficient manner."

"Meaning spend even more than percent of my time with you", Kirk guessed with a warm smile.

"82.538", Spock corrected him. "Affirmative. I also believe that according to human customs, 'moving in together' is considered to be the next expected step in our situation."

"I can't believe you thought about this", Jim said honestly. "All this time I was wondering if I'd even get to leave a toothbrush or maybe use your shower in a year or something, and you just went ahead and cleared half your closet for me!"

"In addition to the drawer", the Vulcan said and nodded towards said piece of furniture.

"You gave me half your closet AND drawer?", he asked in disbelief.

"I do not require the entire provided space of either of them", the tall figure in his arms explained. "I merely had to rearrange a few items."

"But... I thought you didn't want me here", Kirk said confused. "You wouldn't even let my PADD stay longer than myself!"

"Your entire academic life is connected to your PADD, Jim", the Vulcan said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Misplacing it is a serious issue, and one you should be better at controlling, now that you have altered your living arrangements."

"Okay, Spock", Jim said seriously. "If you don't stop talking and kiss me right this instant, I will hit you with the plant."

"I have considerable doubts about your ability to-", the Vulcan started, but his partner pressed their lips together before he could finish. Jim slowly licked the warm flesh against his and entered Spock's mouth as soon as he'd opened it. He groaned audibly and grabbed the front of the Vulcan's uniform to pull him closer. He was rewarded with a low growl, and Spock moved them towards the bed, pushing Jim down on it, following instantly.

When they had to part for air, he observed Kirk with a curious look.

"Did doctor McCoy assist you in the relocation of the plant?", he asked, clearly still doubting the blond's strength, while taking Jim's left hand in his right and entwining their fingers.

"Is it really this unbelievable that I did it on my own?", the man beneath him pouted.

"Yes", Spock replied instantly, covering his lips with Kirk's once again, effectively preventing any further arguments from being made.


	6. Chapter 6

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Grinch!", Jim beamed when he burst through the clinic door. Bones glared at him and continued his conversation with nurse Chapel as if his friend wasn't even there. When they had finished talking, the woman walked past Kirk, who rewarded her with an easy smile and a wink that made her blush as she hurried away.

"Stop flustering my personnel", the doctor scolded the younger man once Chapel had gone.

"Aww, you know I only have eyes for you, dear", Jim said and flung himself on McCoy.

"Get off me, idiot", the older man grumbled and pushed him away. "I don't think your Vulcan would appreciate you flirting with old flames."

"Christine isn't an 'old flame', Bones", Kirk frowned. "We just had a bit of fun and parted on friendly terms."

"Right", the doctor snorted. "Has it ever occurred to you that everyone in this Academy has a potential chance to end up serving on a starship with you?"

"You mean I might get stuck with _you_?", Jim asked in mock horror and laughed when McCoy threw a bandage-pack at him.

"Damn right you will", he grumbled. "And I'll hypo the living daylights out of you, moron."

"People think you're bitter, but then you say things like this, and I go all warm inside", Kirk teased with a smile and watched his friend pack up to follow him out the door.

"Oh, shut up", Bones mumbled. "I hope for your sake that your gift makes up for all the crap you put me through this year."

"I didn't-", Jim started, but was silenced with a stern look from his friend. "Yes, okay, but I promise you'll love it. It took ages to get here and a considerable talent for persuasion."

"Yeah, yeah", McCoy said unimpressed. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Why are you always doubting me?", the blond asked as he entered their (as far as Bones knew) shared quarters.

"Experience", he said flatly and walked over to the drawer to get a small package and threw it carefully towards Jim.

"I wouldn't do that with mine", Kirk chuckled when he caught it and pulled a larger box out of his bag. He offered it to his friend, who accepted it with a slight frown. "I go first", he announced and unceremoniously ripped the wrapping off.

He stared at the item in his hands, torn between frowning and laughing.

"I know you have a thing for antiques", the older man explained, chuckling at the indignant look on Jim's face. "And don't try to pretend you don't need them. I'm your doctor, I know these things."

"Yeah, but... glasses, Bones?", Kirk whined. "My vision really isn't that bad."

"Like hell it isn't", McCoy snorted. "I've watched you squint at your PADD since day one. I'd usually recommend medication, but you're-"

"Allergic", Jim sighed. "Yes, I know. Thanks, Bones."

"No problem", the doctor waved him off. "And now let me open this." He unwrapped his present with more care than the other and slowly opened the wooden box beneath the paper. "You're kidding", he breathed in disbelief when he pulled the bottle out.

"Am I ever?", Jim laughed. "Told you it was hard to get."

"Yeah, illegal things usually are", McCoy snorted. "How did you get your hands on a bottle of Romulan Ale, kid?"

"I know a guy who knows a guy who was serving on a trading ship passing through the neutral zone", Kirk shrugged.

"How did you persuade him to give you- Wait", the doctor interrupted himself. "You know what? I don't wanna know. Don't tell me. Ever. Let's just open it and not think about how it got here." With that he pulled two glasses out of a cupboard and poured the blue liquor into both of them.

"To us and Romulan brewery!", Jim announced and clinked glasses with his friend. "May you continue to hypo me with your ninja skills until we both grow too old to hunt each other down with our wheelchairs."

"I'm sure you'll find a way to annoy me even then", Bones grumbled with a smile.

"Absolutely", Kirk nodded and made a grimace when he took a sip from the drink. That stuff was stronger than he remembered.

"So how did things go with Spock?", the doctor asked once they had settled down on their respective beds, glasses in hand.

"Hold on tight to your drink, old man", the blond warned him. "Because you won't believe what I'm about to tell you."

One glass of Romulan Ale and an extended story later, McCoy looked baffled at his friend and cursed under his breath.

"I'll be damned", he muttered. "The hobgoblin asked you to move in with him! What's next? Klingons turning up on our doorstep with iced cake?"

"Now that would be something", Jim laughed. "But I think one miracle is enough for now, don't you agree?"

"Suits me fine", Bones assured him quickly. "I just can't believe it. I mean you've been living together for the past two months anyway, but I'd never thought the elf would admit it."

"I didn't see it coming either, believe me", Kirk said. "But he was very persistent that it was the 'logical' thing to do, so... yeah. I'm gonna pack my stuff later and make it official. If you can stand living without me, that is."

"I'll be devastated", the doctor snorted and threw a pillow at the other man. "It will be horrible to sleep as long as I want to without having to wait until you got rid of your latest conquest."

"Hey, I haven't done that in ages", Jim reminded him.

"And I'm damn grateful to your Vulcan for that", he nodded eagerly. "Not to speak of your space STDs-"

"That only-"

"Yeah, yeah", McCoy chuckled. "Discuss that with your husband."

"He's not my-", Kirk started, but stopped with an exasperated sigh. "What are you doing on New Year's, Bones?"

"Don't know", he shrugged and took a sip of the blue liquid in his glass. "What are you and the elf doing?"

"I haven't asked him yet", Jim admitted. "But I doubt he celebrates it like we do. I've been thinking about going to the big Academy party. It's kind of our tradition. We can't not go, Bones."

"We've been there twice", the doctor reminded him. "That hardly makes it a tradition."

"It does if we've only been here for two years", the other man insisted. "I want to go. I haven't been out in ages. I miss everyone."

"Even Gary?", Bones wondered with amusement sparkling in his eyes.

"Urgh, don't remind me", Jim shuddered. "Perhaps not EVERYONE. But I miss just being out and having fun. Let's do it. It will be our last chance anyway."

"Fine", McCoy sighed. "If you can get your Vulcan to share you with us lesser mortals for a night, I'm game."

* * *

Jim wandered around restlessly in the bedroom, thinking about how to broach the topic in the most sensitive way. He didn't like to admit it, but Bones had a point. Spock most likely wouldn't like Kirk attending the Academy party, and there was simply no way the Vulcan would willingly accompany him. He sighed. There was no easy way around this, he might as well just go out there and get it over with.

"You are distressed", Spock noticed as soon as he had stepped into the living room. Jim smiled slightly. He knew him too well.

"Not exactly", he said vaguely and dropped down on the couch. "There's something I want to tell you, and I'm not quite sure how, so I'm just gonna come out and say it."

"That seems most wise", the Vulcan nodded and sat down beside him, his eyes never leaving Jim's face.

"There's a New Year's party- No, cut that", he chuckled. "THE New Year's party of the Academy. Bones and I haven't missed one so far, and we're planning on going this year again. I don't think Vulcan's celebrate this event like we illogical humans do, but you're invited to come anyway, of course."

He looked at his partner expectantly, waiting for the signs. Spock didn't disappoint him. He immediately tensed around the shoulders and his mouth thinned.

"I expect there will be alcoholic beverages and the usual range of human interactions in social occasions like the one you described?", he asked motionlessly. Jim sighed and took a warm hand in his.

"Yes, Spock", he said. "There will be people. And alcohol. And it will be crowded, and there'll be a lot of touching. You'll hate it."

"It is not I who I am concerned about", the Vulcan assured him. "You mentioned doctor McCoy will be accompanying you?"

"Yes", Jim nodded quickly. He thought he was finally beginning to see what his partner was getting at. "Don't worry, I've learned my lesson. No unchecked drinks for me. Bones will watch me like a hawk just so he can complain to me about how miserable that made him all night later."

Spock watched him for a few seconds, then he nodded slightly.

"In that case, I am relieved", he admitted. "My experiments will not allow my absence for any amount of time in the following days. They are reaching a critical point. I regret not being able to accompany you, but I trust the doctor will be an adequate replacement."

"Don't let Bones hear you call him 'adequate'", Jim laughed. "He'll let me die just to spite you."

The Vulcan looked at him slightly horrified, and Kirk good-naturedly patted his arm.

"I was kidding, Spock", he assured him. "He'd never do that. If he had it in him not to help someone in need, he'd have killed me years ago."

His partner didn't look too assured at that, but didn't argue.

"So tell me about your experiments", Jim changed topics and snuggled closer to the warm alien beside him.

* * *

When Jim knocked on McCoy's door, he swore to dedicate his evening to getting his friend laid. The picture before him was pathetic. The rooms he used to share with the doctor were spotlessly clean and tidy, even more so than they had been when they first walked into them, two years ago. Bones looked relaxed and well-rested, for once no bags under his tired eyes. His hair was combed perfectly to the side, the dark shirt opened by two buttons, and his posture radiated easy comfortableness.

Jim hated it. He had counted on Bones missing him to death, worrying sick over the blond while drowning in cheap alcohol, but the doctor really looked like he was enjoying his alone-time. Damn him.

He met McCoy's welcoming smile with a dark glare.

"You look good", he spat into his face and fixed the older man in front of him dangerously.

"Nice to see you too, sunshine", Bones said and rolled his eyes. He grabbed his jacket and closed the door behind him, prompting Jim to lead the way.

"You're not supposed to look good", the blond explained.

"Yeah? What'd you think?", the doctor frowned slightly. "That I'd die from loneliness without you? I have a job, you know. And other friends, for that matter."

"Name one", Jim challenged him and watched him out of the corner of his eyes.

"Whaddaya mean 'name one'?", Bones was definitely irritated now. "You _know_ them. They're your friends too, genius."

"Ha!", he said triumphantly, somehow missing the message. "See? You can't. There's no one else."

The older man sighed and slightly shook his head.

"Have you spoken to Sulu recently?", he asked, deciding he wasn't in the mood for a childish fight.

"No, why?", Kirk replied, accepting the change of topic easily.

"He's taken that test he was so scared about", Bones explained. "Failed like everyone else, of course, but he looked kinda crushed, even though he knew it would turn out like that."

"Urgh", Jim made a grimace. "The Kobayashi Maru? Shit, whoever is programming that must be a real bastard. How can no one ever have passed it? What kind of stupid test is that?"

"Don't ask me", the doctor shrugged. "I'm just glad I don't have to do it. Joys of the medical track."

"Ha!", the blond laughed and clapped him on the back. "Don't think you can evade it that easily. You'll take it with me. I need a crew."

"Whaddaya need me there for?", he frowned. "I'm a doctor, not your damn assistant. Go find someone who's actually supposed to be on a bridge."

"And miss your lovely voice in my ear when you fill it with your constant nagging?", Jim grinned. "Not a chance. You're doing it. End of discussion."

"Aye, _Captain_", the doctor replied with an eye-roll and went through the door of the building they had just reached. They stepped into the biggest hall the Academy had and took in the sight in front of them.

Jim had no idea what the room was usually used for, but he guessed it was something to do with meetings. It was big, but crowded nonetheless. Balloons were hanging from the ceiling and there were rows of bars offering snacks and beverages from all over the Federation. In the front, there was a band playing Jim had never heard about, but they were good and helped raise the mood.

His gaze was slowly travelling over the heads in the crowd. He was pleased to recognize most of them, once again proving just how skilled he was in remembering faces and names: an ability that would no doubt come in handy as Captain of a starship.

Bones nudged him gently in the side and pointed to a bar with Andorian drinks. Jim nodded and followed his friend who ordered two ale's and handed one to Kirk.

"At least we know you're not allergic to that", he yelled over the music.

"Like you didn't bring your scanner", Jim replied with a raised eyebrow. Bones grumbled something confirming his suspicions, and they meddled.

The first person they stumbled over was Sulu, who was engaged in a lively discussion with a blond man who looked a lot younger than them.

"Jim!", the Asian greeted him with a bright smile and gestured towards the boy with him. "This is Pavel Chekov. He's in my Astrosciences class."

"Chekov...", Kirk mumbled and frowned as he concentrated on the name for a second. Then his face lightened up, and he pointed at the Russian kid. "You're the one who won the Academy Marathon!"

"Youngest cadet in history", Chekov nodded eagerly, and Jim could clearly hear the accent.

"So what are you headed for?", Kirk asked curiously. "I know Sulu here's aiming for helmsman, but what about you?"

"Navigator", he beamed.

"Well, that's lucky", Kirk smiled and slowly put his arm around the kid's shoulders. "Because I still need a navigator for my starship."

"Not again...", Bones grumbled. "Stop recruiting people for your imaginary ship, Jim. You still have a long way to go before you get one, and you know it."

"Don't listen to him, he's old and bitter", the blond assured the boy in his arms. "I will get a starship sooner than he thinks, and you'll be on board. What do you say?"

"Aye, Keptin?", Chekov said carefully and looked at Sulu for help. The other man just chuckled and shrugged as if to say 'you don't stand a chance against him'.

"Great!", Jim grinned and clapped him on the back for good measure before he let go of him completely. "What else do we need, Bones? We have a captain, a surgeon, a science officer, helmsman, navigator... Ah!" He smiled mischievously as his eyes fixed on a woman standing at a bar. "A communications officer."

The doctor followed his gaze and frowned.

"Gentlemen, it seems my attention is required elsewhere", Kirk smiled at them. "Carry on without me."

He left them and slowly walked over to the woman at the bar, closely followed by McCoy.

"What a sight for sore eyes!", Jim said as he leaned lazily against the counter.

"Kirk?", Uhura frowned and turned around to face him. "What do you want?"

"Right down to business, as always, I see", the blond smiled. "Can't I just talk to an old friend without being accused of any ulterior motives?"

"We're not friends", she pointed out as she took her drinks.

"Ouch, you wound me", he laughed and put an arm around her shoulder. "Have I not always treated you with... well, something like respect?"

She glared at him and then at his arm.

"Should you be doing this?", she finally asked with raised eyebrows. "I doubt your boyfriend would appreciate you hitting on me."

"I'm not hitting on you", Jim clarified, but let go of her instantly. "I was just talking."

"Right", Uhura snorted. "And I was just leaving."

"Hey, Bones", Kirk said quickly and pointed towards the bar. "My ale's gone. Could you fetch me another drink?"

"What am I? Your barkeeper?", the doctor grumbled, but left dutifully to get drinks anyway. Jim immediately rushed after Uhura and grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Wait", he urged her, and she turned around slowly, clearly tired of this.

"What do you want, Kirk?", she sighed.

"I'm looking for a girl-", he started, but she interrupted him.

"Are you kidding me? Are you insane?", she frowned. "Do you have any idea what the Vulcan stance on cheating is?"

"No, and I don't plan on finding out", Jim assured her. "I don't mean for myself." He nodded towards his friend at the bar standing a few feet away. "Bones has been single for ages. I just want him to have fun tonight. Do you know anyone who might be interested in a handsome doctor?"

Uhura looked at him for a few seconds like she was trying to figure out if this was a joke or not, but eventually she nodded.

"There might be... but I'm not sure if she's up for a one-time thing", she added with a raised finger. "If he breaks her heart, I will blame you and hunt you down, Kirk."

"Are you kidding?", he chuckled. "Bones? Break _her _heart? I think I'm safe."

"Good", Uhura said and nodded towards a group of girls standing a bit further away. "The one with the brown hair and the red dress. She's had a crush on him for a while, but I don't think he even knows her."

"Perfect", Jim beamed. "Could you separate her from the herd for a while? Bones is a bit shy. AND I want it to look casual."

The woman in front of him looked down on the drinks in her hand with a slight frown.

"I could make her get the next round", she offered.

"Brilliant!", Kirk grinned. "Thanks, Uhura. You're the best."

"I know", she nodded easily as Jim made to leave. "And don't you forget it!"

He laughed openly at that and gave her a thumbs up before he joined Bones at the bar again.

"Here", his friend said and handed him a glowing pink drink. "I checked it. Should be safe."

"_Should_ be?", Jim asked with a raised eyebrow as he took it.

"If it's not, it's not my fault", Bones said. "You have weird allergies. You might be developing a new one as we speak."

"Gee, that's reassuring", the blond mumbled and took a sip from the drink. It tasted sweet and fruity. "I can't believe you actually got me a girly drink." He frowned at the brandy in his friend's hands.

"I thought you'd like it", he shrugged innocently.

"I do", Jim assured him, "but it's PINK."

"So what?", the doctor frowned. "We drink all kinds of weird-coloured drinks. Remember that purple sparkling thing we had in our first year?"

"Vividly", Kirk nodded with a grimace. "And the hypo after that."

"Good old times", Bones laughed and clapped him on the back.

"Yeah, right", the blond snorted and looked around the crowd. "Oh god, no. There's Finnegan."

"Really?", the doctor followed his gaze and frowned. "That guy's everywhere. Does he ever do anything else but socialize?"

"Prank people", Jim offered with a bitter undertone. "Oh no, he's coming over. Take one for the team, Bones." He left as quickly as he could and disappeared in the crowd, leaving his friend alone with Finnegan.

He felt slightly guilty about that, but he would rather endure the doctor's cursing for a week than spend five seconds in the presence of the prankster. The guy had made his life living hell in his first year, and he had no intention to continue where they left off when he had finally managed to successfully avoid the man.

Karma is a bitch, Jim thought when he ran straight into the arms of another person he had rather not met that evening. Was it really his idea to go to this party? He couldn't remember why he would have wanted that. He thought about Spock with an internal sigh, cursing himself for choosing his friends over his partner.

"Gary", he nodded as the man in front of him locked eyes with him.

"Jim", came the surprised response. "Fancy meeting you here. I didn't think you'd make it. You haven't been to anything other than class in the last months."

"Yeah, well...", Kirk shifted his weight uneasily. "You know. Studying. My schedule is really tight. Especially now in my last year. I can't party like I used to anymore."

That was a lie. Jim had plenty of time to go out and socialize, he simply chose not to. Staying in with Spock somehow sounded more appealing to him than mingle with people who probably didn't like him anyway. He only ever spent time with Bones, and that wasn't often. No wonder Gary was surprised to see him. They hadn't crossed paths in ages.

"I understand. We all feel the pressure of that last year", the man laughed. "Must be harder for you than for anyone else, really. What with your special program."

"Yeah, it's really... busy." Jim frowned internally. He never should have left Bones. Being around Gary was awkward ever since they had stopped seeing each other. For some mysterious reason, Gary seemed to be... not exactly afraid, but he tended to avoid the doctor and usually didn't approach Kirk when his friend was with him.

Jim longed for Bones to save him.

As if hearing his desperate call, the doctor turned up in the crowd, spotted them and frowned. He stiffly walked over to them, barely gracing Gary with a look.

"Mitchell", he said disapprovingly and slightly nodded as a greeting.

"McCoy", came the equally tense response, and Jim knew what would follow next. "If you will excuse me, I believe I just spotted one of my friends."

He hurried away without looking back.

"One day you must tell me how you do that", Jim said and stared after Gary. "That's a neat trick."

"It wouldn't work on you", Bones grumbled absent-mindedly, watching Mitchell approach a group of men at the far end of the room. "You're too innocent."

"Hey! I'm not-", Kirk started to argue, but stopped himself. "You know what? Forget it. I need another drink." He pointed towards a bar. "Get me something green."

His friend didn't even bother trying to argue and just left to do as he was told. Jim followed closely behind him and put all his effort into trying to look casual as he bumped into him when he leaned on the counter.

There were two curses when he rearranged himself to observe the scene.

Bones had hit the woman beside him and spilled a drink in her hand. Luckily, it hadn't reached her red dress, but the doctor still looked incredibly miserable when he tried to apologize to her.

"I'm so sorry", he mumbled. "I don't know what happened. Someone must have pushed me."

"It's okay", the girl smiled. "Nothing happened. You missed my dress." And that was a good thing too, because the green liquid now covering the floor would have looked horrible with that red.

"Glad to hear that, at least", Bones said. She nodded and put down the now empty glass to dry her hands with a towel the barkeeper handed her.

"What are you doing?", Jim hissed into his friend's ear when it became obvious he wasn't going to say anything else. "Ask her what her name is. Buy her another drink, idiot!"

"What?", the doctor frowned. "Why would I do that?"

"Because she's pretty, and you like her", his friend said impatiently. "She even used the same curses you did. If that isn't love at first sight, I don't know what is."

"It's not-"

"Shut up and buy her a drink. What's the worst that could happen?", Jim said and gestured the barkeeper to get them the same thing the girl had had before. When he had put the glass down in front of them, Kirk cleared his throat audibly, prompting the girl to look into their direction again, and left as fast as he could.

He didn't stop before he had almost reached the middle of the hall, and when he turned around, he could clearly see them flirting with each other.

I owe you one, Uhura, he thought and smiled at his own genius.

When he walked past her and her group of friends, he gave her a grin and thumbs up, before disappearing in the crowd again.

Jim spent almost two hours on his own, mingling with people he had hardly seen in the last months, participating in a drinking game with Sulu and Chekov, who emptied vodka bottles like they were water, and dancing with faceless girls to the music.

When the countdown started, he noted with satisfaction that Bones and the girl he had hooked him up with were standing close to each other, engaged in a lively discussion, eyes never leaving each other.

With that mission accomplished, Jim suddenly wondered what he was supposed to do now. He hadn't really thought about it, but now that the countdown was running, he felt distinctly uncomfortable in the crowd. That was one tradition he didn't plan on following through with tonight. If he couldn't kiss Spock at midnight, he wouldn't kiss anyone.

He headed for the exit as quickly as he could.

Perhaps he should have stayed where he was. He hadn't even made it halfway through the room when he ran straight into Gary's arms. The countdown stopped, there was a lot of noise, and before Jim could really establish what was going on around him, Gary had put his arms around him and drawn him into a deep kiss.

Surprised at the man's presence he had opened his mouth a bit, and Mitchell didn't let this opportunity go to waste. He shoved his tongue down Jim's throat, his iron grip keeping the blond's head in place. Once the initial shock had passed, Kirk wrestled himself out of Gary's arms, staring at him like he was insane.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?", he asked angrily, wiping his mouth in disgust.

"I thought-", Gary started, but Jim wouldn't let him finish.

"Well, you thought wrong!", he yelled. "It's over, Gary!" The other man tried to calm him by putting a hand on his shoulder, but Kirk evaded the touch skilfully and backed away. "Don't ever touch me again. You had your chance. You blew it. Live with it."

Jim turned around and hurried out of the room as quickly as he could without looking back once.

* * *

Panting, he entered the code and practically fell through the door. He had run all the way back to his quarters, ignoring all the happy couples strolling over the grounds.

What the hell?, he thought and ran a shaking hand through his slightly moist hair.

He had had no idea that Gary still had feelings for him. It had been almost a year now. How could he not have noticed anything?

"You are back", a voice in the dark noticed, and Jim felt his heart skip a beat.

"Jesus, Spock!", he cried and held his chest. "You have to stop doing that or you'll kill me one day."

"I apologize", the Vulcan said and moved closer towards him. "I had not anticipated such a reaction. I thought you were aware of my presence."

"Well, I wasn't", Jim pointed out unnecessarily, but wrapped his arms around the warm body now standing directly in front of him anyway.

"Obviously", Spock said and leaned down to kiss him.

The reaction was immediate. As soon as the hot lips touched his, Kirk heard a deep growl emanating from the alien in his arms, and the warm grip around his arms tightened noticeably. When Spock looked up, his eyes were dark, a dangerous sparkle hidden in plain sight.

"Who?", he asked lowly, never looking away.

"'Who' what?", Jim asked confused, trying to wriggle out of the Vulcan's iron grip, but the alien wouldn't give an inch.

"Who kissed you?", he asked dangerously silent. Kirk stared at him in horror. Oh no. Spock could probably still taste Gary.

"Erm...", Jim searched for words, uncomfortably avoiding the piercing eyes of the Vulcan. "That's... a long story. I used to date him, and apparently he thought he still stood a chance with me. He kind of ambushed me, but I made it very clear that I had no desire to repeat whatever he thought he was doing, don't worry."

"Who was it?", Spock repeated impatiently. The blond suddenly realized that he wasn't angry because he thought Kirk had been cheating on him. He was angry because someone had forced himself on him.

"No, Spock", Jim said warningly. "Don't do anything stupid. It's fine. Gary won't bother me again. Leave him alone."

"Gary?", the Vulcan repeated, obviously ignoring the rest of his speech.

"I told you: NO", Kirk said firmly and slid out of Spock's grip when the alien was distracted by a thought-process. He gently took the warm hands in his and squeezed them to get his attention back. "Leave it. Just forget anything happened."

Spock's glare told him exactly what he thought of that suggestion, but Jim wouldn't accept that answer.

"It's really no big deal", he tried. "It was just one kiss, I told him I wasn't interested, and that was it. Don't let that ruin our evening."

"I wish I could agree with you, but it really is a 'big deal', Jim", Spock said, clearly calmer now. "He approached you against your will. I would hate to see his actions repeated."

"I told you, he won't!", the blond pressed.

The Vulcan eyed him with obvious scepticism for a minute, then he relaxed a bit, drawing small circles on Jim's hand in his.

"Very well", he almost-sighed. "I will indulge you for now."

Jim knew this was the best answer he would get and didn't push it. He smiled slightly and pressed a chaste kiss on the hot lips.

"Shouldn't you be busy trying to get rid of his stench or something?", he asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Spock didn't answer. Instead, he gripped Jim's hair with one hand and forced his head to move closer, covering their lips with a low growl while he manoeuvred them into the bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

Bones walked into the clinic to find his friend already waiting. He interrupted Kirk's flirting with Chapel with an audible clearing of his throat before he dropped his bag on a chair and watched the nurse leave the room with an embarrassed giggle.

"You're late", Jim noticed with a smirk.

"No, I'm not", the doctor replied with a frown.

"Well, not officially, no", the blond admitted. "But for your standards, you are. You're usually half an hour early. What kept you so long?" The glint in his eyes revealed that he already knew the answer to that, but he wanted his friend to say it. Bones had forced a confession out of him every time he spent the night with a girl. Jim had no intention to pass the opportunity to pay him back in kind.

"You know damn well what", the doctor grumbled embarrassed and rummaged through one of the cupboards to busy his hands.

"What's her name?", Kirk grinned and congratulated himself silently for his matchmaking.

"Nancy", Bones sighed.

"Nice", his friend smiled. "She looked great. I can't believe she chose to spend the night with you of all people though."

"Shut up", the doctor said and assaulted him with a hypo. Jim winced, but he felt last night's hangover quickly fading away. "I've met her before", he admitted. "She's been in the clinic a couple of times."

"Ah, that's why she had a crush on you", Kirk murmured in sudden clarity.

"What?"

"Nothing", the blond said hastily.

"'Nothing' my ass", Bones snorted. "Spit it out, kid. I've got a hell of a lot more of those", he threatened Jim with a hypo and a dangerous glare.

"I may or may not have arranged for you to meet", Jim admitted reluctantly, eyes fixed on the doctor's hand.

"Explain."

"Uhura told me Nancy might be interested in you, so I pushed you into her at the bar", he said, intent on revealing only necessary information. Bones didn't have to know the details.

"So that's what you two were talking about", his friend frowned. "I had almost expected her to neuter you because you were hitting on her again."

"Why does everyone think I'm incapable of talking to people without flirting?", Kirk pouted.

"Because you are", Bones said simply. "You've been flirting with me for over a year until I threatened to cut your dick off in your sleep."

"That was mean, by the way", Jim said and held his hands protectively in front of his groin, vividly remembering the horrors of that phase. "I was too scared to sleep in the same room with you for weeks. And then I could only do it because I wasn't alone."

"At least Gary was good for SOMETHING", the doctor snorted.

"Yeah, about that...", the blond shifted uneasily on the spot. "He caught me off guard when you were busy with Nancy."

"What?", Bones frowned. "I thought he had gotten the message."

"Nope", Jim laughed humourlessly. "He hasn't changed a bit. He kissed me at midnight."

"You're kidding", his friend said flatly, staring at him in horror.

"I wish I was", he sighed. "Spock wanted to kill him, but I stopped him for now. I'm not sure he won't get tempted again though."

"Not like Gary wouldn't deserve it", the doctor frowned, "but the elf isn't suited for prison."

"Exactly", Jim said. "Speaking of which, I have to go. His class will be over soon, and I intend to be there to keep him from finding the jackass and dispose of the body before anyone can notice he's gone."

"Sounds like a damn good plan to me", Bones nodded and watched his friend leave.

* * *

Jim ambushed Spock when the Vulcan left the lecture room. He did his best to look casual and kept his distance as usual, knowing his partner didn't like public displays of affection. He barely graced Kirk's figure with a look and a slightly raised eyebrow when the blond easily fell into step beside Spock. Jim smiled noticeably at the telltale signs of recognition when he saw the muscles of the Vulcan's hands behind his back flexing as if he was resisting the urge to touch him.

"How are your experiments coming along?", the blond asked innocently, covertly scanning the crowd for any signs of trouble.

"Satisfactory, cadet", Spock replied stiffly.

"That so, huh?", Jim mumbled absent-mindedly, looking around a corner they were passing.

"May I ask what prompted... this?", Spock said with a slight frown.

"Nothing", his partner tried to assure him with an innocent smile. "Do I need a reason to pick up a handsome young Vulcan like you?"

Spock regarded him with a raised eyebrow, clearly questioning his reasoning.

"I was around", Jim shrugged vaguely. "And I thought I'd check if you're busy."

"Indeed", the alien replied unconvinced.

"You don't have to look so excited, you know", the blond said sarcastically. "People might notice."

"I doubt the general public would-", Spock started to argue, but that's as far as he got. They were interrupted by a loud clap on Kirk's back and an enthusiastic "Hey, Jim!".

He winced inwardly at the injustice of chance as he slowly turned his head towards the man beside him.

"Gary", he forced out with a fake smile, deliberately not looking at Spock.

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you about last night", Mitchell said with a faint look of guilt on his face.

"Nothing to talk about", Jim assured him quickly. "Really." He hoped his eyes delivered the message, but obviously Gary didn't notice.

"You ran off so fast, I didn't even get the chance to-"

"Cadet Kirk is indisposed at the moment", Spock interrupted him coldly, sparing his partner further attempts of throwing Mitchell off. "In addition, he does not appear eager to talk to you, Cadet...?"

"Mitchell, sir", came the hasty reply. Gary obviously hadn't expected the Vulcan instructor to interrupt.

"Cadet Mitchell", Spock repeated. "You might find your attentions are not welcome. Perhaps you are best advised to leave before Cadet Kirk decides to file a complaint against you."

"With all due respect sir, I don't think you-", Gary tried to argue, but Jim silenced him quickly by putting a hand over his mouth.

"He's right", he explained. "There is nothing left to say between us, Gary. Go home. Or to your lecture or wherever it is you should be."

"But-", Mitchell looked like he wanted to add something, but a dark glare from a certain Vulcan silenced him before he could say more. He settled with a vague nod towards the instructor and an uncertain gaze at Kirk before he left as fast as his legs would take him.

"I believe an explanation is in order", Spock remarked neutrally. Despite the Vulcan's best effort to appear unaffected, Jim couldn't help but notice the warmth that suddenly radiated through his own uniform. A look at his partner revealed that he had come as close as possible to the human without actually touching him. The blond smiled at that. Protective much?

"Agreed", he sighed with a wary smile. "Tonight, over chess?"

Spock nodded in response and left Jim standing in the hallway.

* * *

Jim set up the board deliberately slowly, the unrealistic hope of somehow avoiding this conversation always at the back of his mind. When it became clear that his partner had noticed his intentions of delaying what was to come, he sighed and put down the last pieces before nervously tapping on the desk with his fingers.

"Gary was-", he started, but stopped, uncertainly biting his lower lip. Spock's gaze never wavered from his face, even as he made the first move, making the younger man distinctly uncomfortable.

"We were... I don't know what we were." He sighed, tiredly running his hand through his hair. "I met him in my second year. He's also on the Command Track, but I'm sure you've figured that out by now." A quick glance at the Vulcan told him that he had indeed checked the files in question. Trust Spock to always be up-to-date with everything, Jim thought and smiled affectionately.

"As you might have guessed, I swing both ways and never actually made a secret out of that", Kirk continued and squinted at the board in front of him before making a move. He had the feeling that the glasses Bones had given him were impairing his sight rather than improving it. Of course he could still easily see everything before him, but he didn't like the pronounced blurriness things seemed to get when he wasn't wearing the glasses, so he put up with them in the safety of their quarters. Well, because of that and perhaps a bit because he had the distinct feeling that Spock liked them on him.

"I had gathered as much", the Vulcan nodded and relocated his pawn.

"Yes, well... Gary and I met in one of our lectures and became friends. One night we got drunk and I... Well", Jim smiled tensely and countered Spock's attack. "You don't need to know the details. Let's just say I took him home with me."

The Vulcan face revealed nothing, but when the alien hands set down the knight they were holding, there was a small crack in the figure.

"We... weren't dating exactly", Kirk continued with a cautious glance at Spock's hands as he moved his own pawn. "It was more like... Are you familiar with the concept of 'friends with benefits'?"

"I have overheard the term on several occasions", his partner replied slowly. "However, I am not certain I fully understand its meaning."

"It means...", Jim hesitated to use the word 'fuck-buddies' because he was pretty sure he didn't want Spock to get familiar with that, "we weren't in a relationship, but we occasionally... you know..."

A curiously raised eyebrow told him that the Vulcan did not know.

"We occasionally... shared a bed", the blond eventually admitted, looking for signs of understanding in the other's eyes. There was nothing but a faint cracking sound and a headless bishop. At this rate they'd have to get a new chess set before the night was over.

"Gary wasn't comfortable with any of it", Jim continued carefully, his eyes never leaving Spock's. "He hated himself for always coming back, convinced he was perfectly straight." He sighed and tiredly rubbed his eyes. "Things got ugly. He lost it one day and... called me a couple of... things." Kirk looked away uncomfortably, chewing on his lip. "He hit me just as Bones walked in", he admitted almost inaudibly.

There goes the King, Jim thought with some resignation as he watched the figure break in two under Spock's grip.

The Vulcan jumped out of his chair and moved towards Kirk faster than lightning. Once he was glooming over him, he seemed uncertain what to do, so Jim decided to have mercy on him and stood up himself, slowly putting his arms around the warm neck in front of him. Spock returned the embrace eagerly, rubbing soothing circles on his partner's back, comforting him with his alien warmth.

Jim sighed contently, burying his face in the crook of the other's neck, ignoring the impracticality of the glasses, before continuing.

"Bones was furious", he continued silently, his voice muffled because he was speaking against skin. "He never liked Gary to begin with, but that did it." Jim smiled a little at the memory of that day. "He took out a hypo of his med-bag and threatened Gary to prevent him from ever getting it up again if he didn't leave at once."

"Doctor McCoy's argument seems most reasonable", Spock whispered softly into Kirk's ear, invoking a pleasant shudder in the younger man.

"Gary thought so too", Jim chuckled deviously. "He fled the room before the door had fully opened. Needless to say, ever since that day Bones isn't exactly a fan."

"I find myself agreeing with the doctor in this instant", the Vulcan replied and tightened his grip around the blond's waist.

"I know what Gary did was wrong", Kirk said resolutely and leaned back a bit so he could look Spock in the eyes. "But I don't hate him. And I don't want you to hate him either. He's a... very troubled man who's not at peace with himself. All that hatred he projected at me was aimed at himself. That's why I didn't report him, despite Bones' urging. I figured he's punishing himself enough already."

"You are too kind, Jim", his partner noticed with a visible frown that made him smile.

"I thought Vulcans were pacifists", he scolded him. "Aren't you supposed to support my decision of not causing him any more trouble?"

"I did not suggest you cause him bodily harm", Spock reminded him. "I merely wish you had taken the proper steps according to regulations."

"I...", Jim started, but slowly shook his head. "No. That's not who I am. I could never do that to someone. You know the regulations. His career would be finished were I to expose him."

"I truly wish you would refrain from putting everybody else's well-being over your own", the Vulcan almost-sighed as he slowly ran his hand through Kirk's hair. "If you continue like this, I fear you are likely to end up sacrificing yourself for a lost cause."

"You mean like my father?", Jim asked carefully.

"That is one possible scenario", his partner replied vaguely.

"You know I don't believe in no-win scenarios, Spock", he smiled as he took the Vulcan's free hand in his.

"One day you might find you are wrong", came the pained reply. "Every starship Captain must be prepared to-"

"Stop", Jim interrupted him with a stern look, "I don't like it when my father comes up in a conversation. He's always made into a hero."

"Captain Kirk WAS a-"

"NO!", Kirk almost-yelled and freed himself from Spock's grip. He turned around and started furiously walking up and down the room. "Do you know what he was?"

The Vulcan merely raised an eyebrow at that, clearly surprised at the strong reaction he had just witnessed.

"Not there", Jim said emphatically. "I don't have a father. Every time people find out who I am, they tell me what a hero my dad was. Saving all those lives by sacrificing his own." He snorted unhappily. "That's not my dad." He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Spock. "I don't have a father", he repeated silently. "I just have a couple of holos and medals and stories about a man I never knew."

"He saved your life", Spock threw into the silence that followed his statement. "Do you not think that his sacrifice was a price worth paying?"

"Oh great", Jim snorted. "So he died because of me, is that what you're saying?"

The Vulcan carefully took a few steps towards him and put a warm hand under his chin, forcing him to meet his gaze.

"No", he said quietly. "He died because he was aware of the responsibility a Captain has. Knowing that by sacrificing himself he would be able to save you and your mother, the people he loved, must have been a blessing."

"You think it was a good thing we were on that ship?", Kirk asked with slightly moist eyes.

"I believe that if I had to die, I would take comfort in the fact that I was doing so protecting the people that mattered the most to me", he explained and slowly leaned forward to remove Jim's glasses before capturing his lips with his own.

The human sighed happily and allowed the stronger Vulcan to manoeuvre him towards the table with the chess set. Once there, the alien hands swept the board off the desk and replaced it with Kirk. Spock growled lowly when Jim wrapped his legs around his waist and entwined their fingers. The blond smiled deviously at that and released the Vulcan's mouth in favour of his fingers. He licked slowly on the warm index- and middle finger before he carefully nibbled at them.

Spock ripped Kirk's shirt open in one swift motion and traced warm fingers down the cooler side as he leaned forward to bite down on Jim's neck. The human groaned at that and released the Vulcan fingers before leaning back on the table, capturing the warm lips with his again, forcing Spock down with him.

A soft cracking sound made Jim look up in alarm, and he slowly lifted himself up a bit from the table, putting a hand underneath him. He held the glasses up and inspected them with a frown.

"Those were antiques", he sighed at the cracks before Spock gingerly took them out of his hand, throwing them over his shoulder.


	8. Chapter 8

Spock never spent the night.

Jim had noticed that early on, of course, but in hindsight, that should have been a clue. He had let himself believe that that was a Vulcan thing because they needed much less sleep than humans did, but Spock never stayed with him once. Even after months of living together, the Vulcan couldn't be persuaded.

And Jim had thought that was okay. He didn't care. It didn't mean anything.

Only in hindsight, maybe it did.

Spock let himself never even once be seen with him of his own accord.

That too was nothing new to Jim. He knew the Vulcan was private and didn't like other people to pry. Kirk simply convinced himself that Spock appreciated it when he walked him to his office. Even though he didn't show it.

Perhaps that was a clue too.

Spock never told Pike about them.

Jim was sure that he simply wanted to avoid bureaucratic unpleasantness. While relationships between students and instructors were heavily frowned upon, they weren't actually forbidden, but they were strongly discouraged.

And that was just the problem.

It dawned on him too late that Spock didn't avoid any publicity about their relationship because he was oh so very private.

He avoided it because they weren't in a relationship.

When Jim finally put two and two together, he begged Spock to tell him he was wrong.

The Vulcan didn't so much as move. He simply stood there, observing Jim while his whole world broke into pieces.

"Spock, please", he forced out, trying to keep his hands from shaking, clenching them into fists at his side. "Say something. Anything."

"What would you have me say?", came the cold reply, reminding Jim for the first time just how alien Spock really was.

"I don't know", he said and his voice broke. He promised himself he wouldn't cry. Not in front of him. He wouldn't give him that satisfaction. "I just told you I loved you. I guess I expected... something."

This time he wasn't even graced with a raised eyebrow. There was just... nothing. Spock didn't move. He didn't even blink, his gaze never leaving Kirk as he was standing at the other end of the room, trying to hide his trembling behind frantic walking.

"You don't feel anything, do you?", he eventually asked shakily when he came to a halt, resolutely staring at the door behind the Vulcan, not confident enough to meet the assessing stare. "I always thought that whole 'Vulcans don't have emotions' thing was bullshit." He quickly looked at the alien before averting his gaze again. "I still think it is. Maybe it's not you." He sighed in silent defeat and grabbed his PADD from the table. "Maybe you CAN feel love." He smiled bitterly and grabbed his jacket from the coat rack to Spock's left, coming closer to the Vulcan than he would have liked, but there was no getting around it. He was blocking the door.

Jim bravely stepped forward, squeezing past the silent figure, and opened the door.

"Maybe you just can't love _me_", he said without turning around and waited two heartbeats for Spock to say something, but there was nothing.

He left without looking back.

* * *

When Bones opened the door, he immediately knew something was wrong. Jim appreciated that the doctor didn't so much as flinch when he threw his PADD on his vacated bed, following shortly behind it. McCoy simply walked over to his nightstand, pulled the still mostly full bottle of Romulan Ale out and poured them two glasses, handing Jim one of them.

After they had downed two, he finally broke the silence.

"So are you gonna tell me what happened or should I just hypo the living daylights out of him without the details?", he asked with a comforting smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"He'd pull some Vulcan voodoo on you before you'd make it through the door", the blond sighed. "Best not risk it. Let's just... pretend this never happened."

"That's a lot to forget", Bones noticed quietly.

"Yeah, well... I have to try. This is helping", he nodded towards the bottle on the nightstand. "Best idea I've ever had."

"Amen to that", his friend said and finished his third glass.

Jim had lost count of how many they'd had by the time his dignity finally cracked and made way for his true feelings to surface.

"I just really thought I mattered to him", he mumbled unhappily and swayed the blue liquid in his glass. "I can't believe I fell for that."

"Oh, Jim-boy", Bones sighed and vacated his own bed in favour of his friend's. He carefully put an arm around the trembling shoulders, not spilling either of their drinks.

"Why do I have to be a girl about this?", the blond continued. "Why can't I just not care and move on like none of this ever happened?"

"Because you do care", McCoy murmured and placed a careful kiss on his head. "And that's good. It makes you human. As for Spock..." He sighed and squinted at his glass. "Who knows what's going on in that funny Vulcan brain of his?"

Jim snorted and took a sip of his Ale.

"Look, I don't know what he was thinking, letting you go like this, but...", the doctor bit his lip uncertainly, tightening his grip around his friend's shoulders. "I don't think for one goddamn minute that you didn't matter to him."

Jim grunted unconvinced and tried to wriggle out of McCoy's grasp.

"No, listen to me, kid", he said, not giving an inch. "He somehow endured your presence and even asked you to move in with him. I don't know why he's behaving like a class A jackass, and I certainly don't wanna justify any of his actions, but... I don't wanna have you believing he didn't care about you. It's simply not true."

"I don't think he agrees with you", Kirk replied gloomily, finishing his drink.

"Well, I do", Bones said convinced and looked at the Romulan Ale. "And you've finished all of it. So I goddamn hope I'm right, otherwise the pointy-eared bastard owes me a bottle for playing with your heart."

"God, don't say that", Jim moaned and shoved his friend lightly. "You make it sound like I'm a heartbroken teenage girl."

"You are a heartbroken teenage girl", McCoy snorted. "Tall dark and handsome isn't all it's cut out to be, huh?"

"Shut up, my head hurts", the blond whined and slid down until he was lying on the bed.

"I bet it does", Bones murmured and watched his friend fall asleep.

Perhaps it was the alcohol. Perhaps it was his own anger, held at bay so his friend wouldn't be encouraged in his emotional breakdown.

Either way, as soon as Jim had fallen asleep, Bones left their quarters and went to Spock's.

The Vulcan opened the door immediately, definitely not foreseeing McCoy's next action, because the doctor managed a nasty right hook before he squeezed through and stomped into the bedroom. Spock looked after him clearly flabbergasted, and even Bones would have noticed this slip of Vulcan control had he bothered to look back.

Instead, he simply pulled out a bag from the closet and started filling it with Jim's clothes. Spock was watching silently from the doorframe, following the doctor's every move with his eyes.

"There are some remaining belongings in the bathroom", he pointed out once McCoy closed the bag. The doctor grunted in acknowledgement and left the room to get those too. Spock remained behind, and when Bones returned, the Vulcan looked like he had become one with the floor.

Snorting, the doctor put the last items into the bag and closed it with intended finality. When he walked past Spock in the doorframe, he stopped and, mentally scolding himself for being too soft, unceremoniously grabbed the Vulcan's jaw, quickly assessing the damage he had done.

"You'll be glad to hear that I hurt myself more than you", he grumbled and let go. Indeed, his right hand was pulsating from the rough meeting with the hard face, which looked slightly greenish, but the swelling would most likely pass in a day or two.

Spock observed him like a statue, not giving any sign of acknowledgement. Bones felt the anger in him rise again, but he forced it down and hastily moved towards the door.

Once there, he looked back, finding the Vulcan staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

"You didn't deserve him, pointy-eared jackass", Bones told him bluntly. "But he wanted you anyway, and for a while I let myself believe you were good for him. I blame myself as much as I blame you, but in the end you broke his heart, not me."

He turned to leave, but stopped right in front of the door.

"Just in case you care, which I'm not sure you do", he added. "He'll be fine. I'll pick up the pieces and put him together again, but if you come near him ever again, your Vulcan strength won't save you from what I have in store."

He opened the door and stopped again before he made it through it.

"I'm sorry about your jaw", Bones admitted slightly guiltily over his shoulder. "But you goddamn deserved it."

This time he disappeared, leaving a silent figure in the dark behind.

"I did."

* * *

"I hate you", Jim moaned when Bones forced the blanket off his sleeping face. "Go away."

"You sure you want that?", the doctor asked curiously and waved a hypo in front of his friend's squinting red eyes.

"Gimme that", the man in the bed whined and tried to grab the hypo, but McCoy was faster. He skilfully pressed it into Jim's neck and put it down on the nightstand.

"How do you feel, princess?", he asked with honest concern as Kirk peeled himself out of the bed.

"How do you think?", came the grunted reply. "Just peachy."

"Do you have... his class today?", Bones asked with dawning suspicion.

"Yap", the blond nodded gloomily. "Timing isn't exactly my strong suit."

"You don't have to go", McCoy said thoughtfully. "I could come up with a fashionable disease for you to excuse you for today."

"That would just be putting off the inevitable", his friend sighed tiredly. "Plus, I don't want to show any weakness in front of him. Last thing I need is pity."

"Okay", Bones said and handed him his PADD. "But you know where to find me if you need me for anything. ANYTHING."

"I might take you up on that", Jim laughed and clapped his friend on the back before leaving the room.

Walking to the lecture was like hurrying to his own execution. Maybe he should have accepted McCoy's offer. He slowly shook his head. No. He would have to face him eventually. No point in putting it off. It would only get worse with time.

He silently sat down as far away from the front as possible, having earliness on his side because the back rows were usually full when he arrived. He didn't pay any attention to his surroundings until he heard everyone gasp in unison, prompting him to look up from his PADD.

Huh.

I don't remember hitting him, Jim thought ruefully as he inspected the bright green jaw Spock was sporting.

The Vulcan treated his condition with dignity, pretending not to notice the obvious shock in everyone's faces. His eyes never met Kirk's, but the blond knew Spock had noticed him. It was like the human's seat was a black hole, and the Vulcan was afraid to get sucked into it should he lay eyes upon it.

While Spock tried his best to interest the students in his topics, everybody else was busy coming up with theories as to how that nasty bruise on their instructor came to happen.

Jim had a notion.

He was absolutely certain he didn't do it, but there was simply no way the mysterious injury wasn't connected to their breakup. In fact, the only thing that startled him about it was that Bones was still walking among the living after having hit a Vulcan.

Kirk knew his friend had gone to Spock's quarters last night to pick up his stuff, but somehow the doctor had failed to mention a couple of details of this encounter. Jim smiled softly at the image starting to form in his head, vividly picturing his grumpy friend assaulting the stoic Vulcan. He would have given everything he owned to witness that historic moment.

Suddenly sitting through the lecture wasn't a hardship anymore. Every time Jim's thoughts drifted into darker corners, he simply admired the bright green bruise on Spock's jaw, and he immediately felt better. In fact, he didn't want to leave once the class was over, but he forced his eyes away from the Vulcan and hurried out of the room to avoid being alone with him.

As he was making his way towards the clinic, he was followed by whispers and speculations about the Commander's injury. Everywhere he went, people seemed to know about it. The rumour of a speculated fight spread all over the campus faster than Jim's legs could take him, so he wasn't surprised Bones had already heard about it by the time he stormed into the clinic.

"I suppose you've noticed", the doctor mumbled when his friend dropped down on the couch.

"It was impossible not to", Jim laughed, finally allowing the hysteria that had threatened to overcome him ever since he'd first seen Spock that day to surface. He gasped for breath and wiped tears from the corners of his eyes. "What have you done, Bones?"

"I dunno", the doctor looked guiltily at the floor. "Not like I planned it or anything. He just... opened the door, and I couldn't suppress the urge to hit him."

"And he didn't... react?", Kirk frowned. He had wondered why his friend wasn't sporting any bruises.

"No", Bones uncomfortably shifted his weight. "He just stood there like a super-Vulcan and didn't even flinch."

"I can't believe he didn't file a complaint", the blond noticed. "He's usually so damn uptight about regulations. Why didn't he report you?"

"Don't ask me", the doctor sighed. "I'm just glad he didn't. Though that doesn't mean I wouldn't do it again if he did. He bloody well deserved it."

"No arguments here", Jim assured him. He forced a smile on his lips when Chapel interrupted them, and winked at her when she left.

"Glad to see you've recovered so fast", McCoy teased him when they were alone again.

"Life goes on", his friend sighed and tiredly rubbed his eyes. "I can't mourn him forever. It's not all right, but it's okay. I'll be fine. Just... give me some time."

* * *

When Jim took the Kobayashi Maru for the first time two weeks later, he failed miserably. He ended up saving his crew, but had to sacrifice his own ship and life to ensure their save escape. Like his father.

He hated every second of it.

He stormed out of the testing room and headed straight into the nearest bar, not even staying long enough for his assessment, drinking himself into oblivion.

He didn't notice that the last drink he had ordered was purple and sparkling. He simply downed it in one go and passed out on the floor just as McCoy stormed into the bar.

When Jim opened his eyes again, he was lying in one of the clinic beds, a soft humming from the machines overlaying a vivid discussion that had woken him.

"...you've got some nerve showing up here", an angry voice outside his room hissed. "I thought I told you to stay away."

"I assure you I have no intention of intruding", a calm voice explained. "I merely wished to enquire about his status."

"Hmph. And then you'll go?"

"I see no reason for me to stay."

"Fine then. He had a severe allergic reaction to a drink. He's fine now, but it was a close thing. If I hadn't found him, people would probably have just assumed he had had too much to drink. He could have died."

"Did you consider the possibility that his actions were intentional?"

"You mean 'did he try to kill himself'?" A snort. "Is that guilt talking, Spock?" Silence. "I don't think so. He's just a careless idiot who was angry about a ridiculous test. He'll be fine. Go home, Spock. You don't look so hot yourself."

"Oh, excuse me", a female voice suddenly interrupted them. "Doctor, he is awake now. You told me to inform you of any change immediately."

"Yes, thank you, Chapel."

The door opened, and Jim caught a quick glance at Spock's retreating back before it closed behind Bones and Christine again.

"How are you feeling, kid?", his friend asked with obvious concern as he moved his scanner up and down Kirk's body.

"Sore", he admitted and tried to sit up, which Bones prevented with a strong hand on his chest.

"You stay right where you are", he ordered with all his medical authority. "You gave us quite a shock back there."

"What happened?", Jim groaned and smacked his lips a couple of times, trying to rid himself of the vile taste in his mouth. Chapel instantly appeared with a glass of water at his side, which he took and emptied gratefully.

"Funny, I wanted to ask you the same thing", his friend snorted. "You left at warp 8 after the test. You didn't even wait for the discussion! I had to stay for that, but as soon as it was over - you did FINE, by the way, no one ever beat that test, you know that – I followed you, but I had to check at least four other bars before I finally found you."

"Ah."

"You were already out when I got there", Bones continued. "Care to tell me why you had that drink? The barkeeper told me what it was." At that he smacked Jim's head with force. "Are you insane?! You KNEW you were allergic to that! It's the exact same thing that caused your first allergic drink reaction! What's wrong with you?!"

"Ouch! Stop hitting me!", the man in the bed pleaded when the doctor started assaulting him with a cushion. "I'm sorry, okay?! I didn't notice. I wasn't thinking. I didn't do it on purpose."

"Promise?", Bones asked breathlessly, holding up the pillow threateningly over Kirk's head.

"I swear it was an accident", Jim assured him hastily, prompting the doctor to drop his weapon into Christine's waiting hands.

"Good. Then you really are just an idiot", he grumbled and checked his patient's readings again.

"How long do I have to stay?", the blond asked, sensing that he wouldn't like the answer.

"Don't know yet", Bones shrugged. "At least two more days. That was one hell of a reaction, and your immune system was already weakened due to all that stress you've been having lately. I want you to just lie here and don't do anything stupid. Can you do that?"

"I won't promise anything", Jim told him firmly and winked at Chapel.

* * *

He woke up in the middle of the night, again listening to voices in front of his door.

"Commander Spock! I-" Chapel, Jim noticed.

"How is he?" Cold, distant. And yet...

"I'm not sure I'm at liberty to release this information. Doctor McCoy-"

"Is not present. You are his nurse. Your knowledge will suffice."

"Yes, but you're not family. I'm afraid I can't-"

"The doctor knows I am a... friend. I assure you, he will have no objections. I merely wish to ascertain his current condition. Then I will leave."

"I'm not sure-"

"Cadet Kirk is one of my students. If he is to miss obligatory lectures, I demand to know for how long and why."

"I- Yes. Of course. My apologies, Commander. You're right. Doctor McCoy plans to release him tomorrow. I'm afraid that is all the information I can share without his consent."

"That will suffice. Thank you, nurse Chapel. You have been most helpful."

"No problem, Commander-"

* * *

It's not right, but it's okay, Jim thought as he was staring down at Christine writhing underneath him. They were imagining the same man after all.

Kirk had never been a fan of mind-cheating, but since he couldn't have the real deal, and neither could Chapel, this was second best. He had noticed the woman's crush on Spock immediately when he'd overheard their conversation. Getting her into bed after that was easy. They had already done this before after all, and both of them were aware of the other's absent-mindedness.

Imagining doing this with Spock was hard considering he was lying on top of a woman, but giving himself to another man was unthinkable. He didn't want another man. He wanted Spock. Christine was pretty, and nice, and willing, and he had no intention of staying celibate forever.

It didn't last long, of course, a thing like that never could, but they parted as friends once again and turned their attentions elsewhere.

When Jim took the Kobayashi Maru for the second time three weeks after the last, he failed again. This time he saved his ship and his crew, but the Kobayashi Maru was lost. Some people might call this a success.

Jim didn't.

This time he stayed behind for the discussion of his performance, but his instructors couldn't tell him anything he didn't already know. This was a no-win scenario, and James T. Kirk certainly did not believe in those.

He found a pretty Orion girl who was easily convinced she had a crush on him, and soon enough he had her wrapped around his finger. Sleeping with her to achieve his plan wasn't a hardship, and when the blackout affected the instruments of the test, he smiled guiltily at her involvement, sorry to have used her, but certain that victory was his now.

He did not see the Vulcan figure glaring daggers at him from behind the glass wall.


	9. Chapter 9

Jim knew instinctively that the assembly having been called wasn't a good sign. It rarely was. When Admiral Barnett, the Academy commandant, raised his voice, he was certain that he was in trouble. Apparently Bones thought so too, because when Kirk dutifully stepped forward, he rewarded him with a look that clearly told him that he has brought this upon himself. This was serious.

"Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council, suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuing to regulation 17.43 of the Starfleet code", Admiral Barnett explained. "Is there anything you care to say before we begin, sir?"

This was definitely high up Jim's list of things-that-are-not-good. Should the council decide against him, he would be thrown out of Starfleet, condemned to a life of ordinariness he would have settled for three years ago, but not now. Now he knew what was out there. Space was calling to him, he could feel it.

He was terrified. Nothing frightened him more than the thought of rotting on this planet when there was so much more out there.

He had to pull himself together and come up with a strategy before anyone noticed his nervousness. He was trained for this, for crying out loud. He was going to be a starship captain one day. Quick thinking had always been one of his strong suits.

"Yes", he said almost immediately, giving no outward sign of his inner turmoil. "I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly?" He was buying time with this move, and he knew it. Perhaps arguing in his favour would be easier with another person there to... well, argue with. It's always best to face danger directly rather than letting it unsettle you from the distance.

FUCK, Jim thought a second later, when he followed Admiral Barnett's eyes fixing on a figure in the ranks, and he was sure at least one other person in the room shared his sentiment. The blond could vividly imagine McCoy's face when Spock stood up, straightened his shirt (and really, did he need to do that? Was he trying to intimidate Jim?), and stepped forward at Barnett's command.

Kirk's face betrayed nothing, and he had never been so proud of his composure as he was right now, but on the inside he was screaming and violently kicking innocent pieces of furniture. WHY did it have to be Spock? Of all the people in the Academy, WHY Spock? Hadn't he hurt him enough already? Did he really need to add to Jim's misery by dragging him in front of a council, accusing him of cheating? Could the universe possibly hate him that much?

"This is Commander Spock", Admiral Barnett introduced the Vulcan to what he thought was an oblivious Jim. The blond almost snorted at being treated like strangers. Then again, that was probably what they were anyway. "He is one of our most distinguished graduates."

Yeah, no shit, Kirk thought bitterly and tried to keep his eyes fixed on the council members rather than the approaching Vulcan.

"He's programmed the _Kobayashi Maru_ exam for the last four years."

Are you fucking kidding me?, Jim groaned mentally and finally dared to shoot a glance at the Vulcan now standing on a level with him. Was he looking smug? The blond suppressed the urge to connect his fist with the too familiar jaw right then and there and forced himself to direct his attention to the Admiral again.

"Commander", Barnett prompted the Vulcan, and Kirk cursed the man and all the driving powers of the universe for this one word, because it meant he now had to listen to _Spock_, of all people. There was a time when he would have liked nothing better, but this was long over, and now it just hurt. He was about to get reprimanded by his bastard ex-boyfriend in front of the whole Academy, and that was something no sane person should look forward to (and despite what Bones claimed, his tests had all turned out just fine, thank you very much).

"Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test", Spock explained in his lecture-voice. Jim suddenly felt like he was being treated like a naughty child, and he felt anger rise in him. He pushed it down and did the one thing he was good at: annoying Spock.

"Your point being?", he asked with as much detachment as the Vulcan.

"In academic vernacular: You cheated", Admiral Barnett elaborated for the Commander.

Jim frowned. This wasn't going like he'd expected.

"Let me ask you something", he snorted, "I think we all know the answer to." With an accusing glare at Spock he continued, "The test itself is a cheat, isn't it? You programmed it to be unwinnable!" And it just figured that all this time it had been him. All his friends despairing over this stupid simulation, working their asses off to make it with their dignities intact, and him, facing it no less than three times, unwilling to surrender like the others... And all this time, it had been Spock.

This was all a big, bad cosmic joke at his expense.

"Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario?", Spock noticed, and now he definitely sounded smug.

"I don't believe in no-win scenarios", Jim reminded him with the same arrogance the Vulcan was sporting.

"Then not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principle lesson."

"Please", Kirk prompted him exasperatedly. "Enlighten me."

"You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk", Spock countered, "a Captain cannot cheat death."

Fuck you, Jim thought, and this time there was no anger in him. He felt empty. Disappointed, even though he never expected anything else, heartbroken, because he never thought Spock could be so cruel, and... cold.

He suddenly felt tired, the adrenaline violently washed out of his system with a statement the Vulcan must have known would hurt him. When he answered, he couldn't even bring himself to care about the conclusion of this session anymore.

"I of all people?", he asked quietly, waiting for the answer everyone in the room expected, unable to meet his accuser's eyes.

"Your father, Lt. George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?", Spock asked innocently.

You fucking know he did, Jim thought, and suddenly some of the anger was back.

"I don't think you like the fact that I beat your test", he forced out, and yes, he knew he was being childish, but so was the Vulcan. And Kirk knew that this really was part of Spock's reason for behaving like an ass. Maybe calling him out on it wasn't the honourable thing to do, but dammit, if his ex could bring up his dead father, he could expose one of the alien's weaknesses too.

"Furthermore you have failed to define the purpose of the test", Spock continued, ignoring the jab.

"Enlighten me again", Jim prompted, growing sicker of the Vulcan's face with each passing second.

"The purpose is to experience fear", the Commander explained, and he finally lost his smugness. Kirk knew the expression he wore now, saw his real thoughts behind the human eyes, but he refused to acknowledge or analyse any of it. Reading the Vulcan wasn't his business anymore. "Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear and maintain control of oneself and one's crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet Captain."

And there it was. Jim had been waiting for it ever since he watched Spock making his way down the ranks, and there it finally was: prove that the Vulcan knew him just as well as Kirk knew him. There was no better way to get the blond to listen to anything than appealing to his desire to be a great – perhaps the best- captain. Spock knew him better than anyone, even better than Bones did, and he finally revealed that he hadn't completely forgotten about Jim, that he did remember at least the basics, and that was harder to bear for the human in question than anything else so far.

Being treated like a stranger by Spock hurt. It was even more painful, however, to be confronted with the knowledge that they were not, in fact, strangers.

Jim wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. Perhaps he could return to Iowa. There was nothing of interest for him there, he knew that, but perhaps he could find something else. Something to replace his love for starships in his life.

His musings were interrupted by an officer quickly stepping up to Admiral Barnett, handing him something that made his eyes rise in alarm.

"We've received a distress call from Vulcan", he explained, and that was all Jim consciously heard. There was some talk about the cadets reporting to the hangar deck, but all the blond could focus on was Spock.

He could read him like an open book, and he had never seen the Vulcan this unsettled before. He frowned, suddenly feeling bad for the Commander despite himself. He was mad at Spock, sure, but this sounded serious, and Jim would never actually want to see him hurt.

Kirk felt as agitated as if it were his own planet in peril, and he hardly noticed Bones sneaking up on him, vaguely hearing him say something like "smug, pointy-eared bastard", before he felt himself being dragged off to the hangar deck by his best friend.

This day was just full of surprises, because the next disappointment came a few minutes later, when Jim figured out that he would - as the only cadet of his graduation class - not be involved in the rescue mission. This was bullshit if he had ever heard any, but there was no arguing about it. Despite what some people liked to believe, Jim respected the rules and orders of Starfleet, and if he wasn't to be a part of this... well, he had to accept that, whether he liked it or not.

The cruel irony was that he was the second most eager person to see this resolved satisfactory. Only Spock himself cared more about the state of Vulcan than Kirk did, and it was killing the human to just stay behind and wait for the ships to come back, all the while worrying about his friends on board those vessels.

Luckily, one of them didn't seem to share his notion of silent defeat, and when Bones attacked him with the hypo – because according to him he couldn't just 'leave him there, looking all pathetic', which he certainly did not -, he was grateful for a second. Then the symptoms started to kick in, and Jim felt himself painfully reminded of all the allergic reactions he'd had in his life, and he would have killed Bones right then and there hadn't he been busy trying to control his bodily functions.

He remembered little enough of the ride in the shuttle, but the one thing he would never forget, no matter what happened, was the Enterprise.

She was the most beautiful thing Jim had ever laid eyes upon, and she alone had the power to make him neglect that he was feeling like shit, ready to throw up any second, because this was it. This was his ship. He could feel it. If James T. Kirk had been a man who believed in destiny, he wouldn't have hesitated to claim her as his right on the spot. He knew she belonged to Pike, GOD, he knew, but... He NEEDED to have her.

For a second, he thought about his future, thought about rising in ranks, eventually – FINALLY – relieving Pike from her, settling into the captain's seat, giving the command to take them out.

He couldn't think about any other possibility. Watching his lady being handed over to someone else was unthinkable. Pike was okay, he was like a father to Jim, he could deal with him captaining the ship. But anyone else? He felt sick just considering it.

Or maybe it was McCoy's hypo. That stuff was really starting to get to him.

He could hardly stand on his own, and when Jim was being dragged through the Enterprise by his best friend, he couldn't find it in him to argue.

"Damn, it's that pointy-eared bastard", Bones cursed, and of course it was. Why wouldn't Spock be on the same ship he was?

This day was starting to get really long, and the effects of the doctor's hypo were getting worse by the second. Jim was actually glad when his friend dragged him into Medical Bay, and when he said this wasn't worth it, he was almost being sincere. The sedative Bones gave him was a blessing, even if he would never have admitted it, and he went out like a light.

Only that didn't last long, of course, because this couldn't just be a damn natural disaster, no. There had to be a frickin' lightning storm, and Jim just knew that the universe was out to get him. He was up faster than Bones could tell him to lay down again, and he was already racing through the ship, giant hands be damned, when the doctor managed to give him another of those damn hypos.

"Jim! I'm not kidding. You need to keep your heart rate down!" And normally he would listen to his doctor, really, but not today. Today, everything that could go wrong, went wrong, and right now he was the only one to see it. He needed to find Uhura, and he needed to find her right now.

"Uhura! Uhura...", Jim grabbed her breathlessly.

"Kirk! What are you doing here?", she asked, and granted, that was a fair question, but not the right moment for it.

Of course she didn't listen to him, why would she? He was having one of his worst allergic reactions to date, and his hands were huge, and now his tongue started to get numb, and HOLY CRAP was that really happening? He would kill Bones for this one, but not right now. He didn't have the time.

Luckily, Uhura was good, she really was, and once she confirmed that the ship related to the Klingon prison planet had been Romulan, he was chasing through the ship again, Bones and Uhura following close behind.

"Captain! Captain Pike, sir, we have to stop the ship!", he wasn't pleading, not yet, but he wasn't above it, not if it meant saving all their lives.

"How the hell did you get on board the Enterprise?", came the immediate response, but Jim didn't have time for trivial questions like that, dammit. Didn't they see that they were being set up?

Bones tried to save both their asses by blaming the vaccine he had given him for his less-than-ideal behaviour, and Kirk tried desperately to make him shut up, and eventually, he did.

"Vulcan is not experiencing a natural disaster", he explained sternly. "It's being attacked by Romulans."

"Romulans?", Pike repeated, and he obviously wasn't convinced. "Cadet Kirk, I think you've had enough attention for one day. McCoy, take him back to medical. We'll have words later."

"Aye, Captain", Bones said and tried to get a grip on Jim, but the blond was faster.

"Sir, that same anomaly...", he started, but this time Spock interrupted him.

"Mr. Kirk is not cleared to be aboard this vessel, Captain-"

"Look, I get it, you're a great-"

"By Starfleet regulations-"

"I'd love to do it again with you soon-"

"I can remove the cadet-"

"Try it!", Jim yelled and glared at his former lover. Could Spock really hate him so much? What had he ever done to deserve this kind of cold indifference? But Kirk couldn't dwell on this now, he had a ship to rescue. "The cadet is trying to save the bridge!"

"By recommending a full stop mid-warp during a rescue mission?", Spock asked and looked at him like he was completely out of his mind. Jim was getting nowhere with him, he knew a lost battle when he saw one, so he returned his attention to Pike.

"It's not a rescue mission. Listen to me", he pleaded. "It's an attack."

"Based on what facts?", the Vulcan asked, and Kirk had never been so close to punching the guy he loved ever before, but he contained himself. A slap in the face wouldn't get Spock to do more than raise an eyebrow, he needed to operate with logic to get him on his side.

"That same anomaly, a lightning storm in space that we saw today, also occurred on the day of my birth", Jim explained with emphasis. "Before a Romulan ship attacked the USS Kelvin." He turned towards Pike. "You know that, sir, I've read your dissertation."

But he didn't have to convince the Captain, Spock was the real problem here, so he looked back at him. "That ship, which had formidable and advanced weaponry, was never seen or heard from again", he explained. Then, softer, "The Kelvin attacked a place on the edge of Klingon space and at twentythree-hundred hours last night there was an attack. 47 Klingon war birds destroyed by Romulans, sir. And it was reported that the Romulans were in one ship, one massive ship."

"And you know of this Klingon attack how?", Pike asked, still doubting, but at least willing to listen. Kirk turned and looked expectantly at Uhura, who followed his train of thought immediately and answered for him.

"Sir, I intercepted and translated the message myself", she explained. "Kirk's report is accurate."

"We're warping into a trap, sir. The Romulans are waiting for us. I promise you that", Jim said, and he was verging on desperate now. Pike looked at Spock, silently asking for his opinion, which was promptly given.

"The Cadet's logic is sound", he told them almost approvingly, and if that wasn't the biggest compliment one could ever hope to get from a Vulcan, Jim didn't know what was. He had just started to feel good about himself, allowing his mind for a brief moment to think that Spock didn't hate him after all, that maybe there was a chance that... And then he went and ruined it in a heartbeat. "And Lt. Uhura is unmatched in xenolinguistics. We would be wise to accept her conclusion."

Of course you'd think that, Jim thought bitterly.

Oh, he knew about them, all right. He'd heard the rumours like everybody else. And Spock had already been involved with a student before, so why wouldn't they be true? Why should the Vulcan stay single forever when Kirk himself did not?

But that was just the thing. Jim couldn't even THINK about entering into a relationship with anyone other than Spock. The thought alone was enough to make him sick, and imagining his Vulcan, yes, HIS Vulcan with Uhura was killing him. His species didn't do casual, so this thing with the communications expert must have been serious.

Suddenly, the vaccine's symptoms didn't seem so bad anymore, compared to what he was feeling now. He could hardly blame Uhura, it wasn't her fault they had broken up, and he never gave any indication that he expected her to keep her hands off the Vulcan, so why not? From her point of view it was perfectly understandable. Spock was an attractive guy, he was smart, they knew each other already, she was his assistant, so they obviously spent time together... Why the hell not?

Because Jim still loved him, dammit, and that wouldn't, couldn't, change. Ever. And Uhura was awesome, and pretty, and amazing, and so much better than him, and it was killing him to see them in the same room, let alone standing close together. If he should ever have the misfortune to watch them getting intimate, he would probably die from sheer heartache, and Bones would follow him into the darkness because he'd die laughing shortly after.

So yeah. His life sucked. He couldn't hate Uhura because she'd done nothing wrong, and he certainly couldn't hate Spock because, yeah, he might deserve it, but he just couldn't, okay? It wasn't logical, and the Vulcan would probably scold him for his stupid human romanticism, but he couldn't change it. Nothing in the world could make him hate Spock. It was a huge cosmic joke, and Jim fucking hated it, but it was the truth.

He hardly heard Pike giving the order to scan Vulcan space over his frantic heartbeat and his best efforts to keep his jealousy in check.

And OF COURSE Uhura spoke Romulan! Why wouldn't she? She was friggin' perfect! The dialects? All three! Why not? Why. The. Hell. Not?

"It's because they're being attacked", Jim forced himself to say when Uhura told them she wasn't picking up any transmissions. Pike finally seemed convinced, ordered the shields up and went to Red Alert. It wasn't everything he'd hoped for, but it was a start, and for now saving the ship would have to suffice. Kirk's heart could wait.

Only perhaps not, because as Sulu counted down from five, Jim braced himself behind the captain's chair – so close, so damn close – and Spock stood there beside him, and he didn't want to look, he didn't, honest, but then he couldn't NOT look, so he turned his head, and the Vulcan's eyes were fixed on his, and suddenly Jim remembered why he could never hate that guy, no matter how much he ached to. He almost wanted to say something, anything, to make this okay, to make them all right again, but he couldn't think of anything that would have that much power, and they were flying right into a trap now, so there wasn't time anyway.

There was chaos on the bridge when they dropped out of warp, and the Enterprise was surrounded by drifting parts of destroyed ships, threatening to hit them any second. Sulu was trying his best to evade the fragments, but he couldn't move past all of them, no matter how good he was – and he was, Jim knew because he had watched him kicking ass on the simulator a thousand times.

None of that mattered though, when they all stared at the viewscreen.

Drifting through space was the largest spaceship any of them had ever seen, it looked like an octopus ready to swallow them whole, and who cared about flying parts when they were facing THAT?

And then they were locking torpedoes, and Jim couldn't have been the only one who already mentally saw them joining the other ships in their fate. The rest of their armada had arrived only a couple of seconds before they had, and Kirk also knew what this monster of a spaceship had done to the Kelvin, so yeah. They were pretty screwed, but that was no reason to give up. No such thing as no-win scenarios, right?

Luckily, Pike shared Jim's unrealistic optimism, and yeah, perhaps the blond was a bit surprised when Spock announced that there was some freaky device that blocked their communications and transporter abilities, and MAYBE Sulu's remark about not being able to take another hit like that was a tad bit unsettling, but nothing he couldn't handle. The REALLY shocking thing was Uhura's next comment.

"Captain, we're being hailed!"

And then there was a Romulan on the viewscreen, the Captain of the octopus vessel, Jim presumed, and funnily enough, the guy didn't even look that insane.

"Hello", he greeted them politely, and everyone was shocked into silence. Well, everyone except Pike, obviously.

"I'm Captain Christopher Pike", he introduced himself. "To whom am I speaking?"

"Hi, Christopher", came the airy response. "I'm Nero."

It was so absurd, Jim might have laughed had the circumstances been less intimidating.

He heard something about him and the Empire standing apart, but Kirk really started paying attention when he mentioned their Vulcan crew member.

"...Isn't that right, Spock?", Nero asked, and suddenly everyone on the bridge turned towards the Commander, who seemed no less confused than they were, even though he did a better job at hiding it.

"Pardon me, I do not believe that you and I are acquainted", he stated politely as he walked further to the front, wearily watching the Captain on the screen.

This was awful. Jim didn't want him to be talking to a crazy Romulan that had just killed their entire fleet, (apart from those on the Enterprise) his whole class, in the blink of an eye, and was talking to him like he knew him.

"No, we're not", Nero conceded. "Not yet."

And just what was that supposed to mean?

"Spock, there's something I would like you to see", the Romulan continued ominously. As if that hadn't been bad enough, he ordered Pike to come aboard his freakishly large ship with a shuttle for 'negotiations', and if that didn't scream TRAP!, nothing did.

There was simply no way Nero wished to negotiate ANYTHING. This guy had just destroyed their whole armada, sparing them for God knows what reason, and was now practically abducting their Captain. He couldn't possibly expect Pike to fall for it.

"They'll kill you, you know that", Jim reminded him when the Captain did look like he was considering it.

"Your survival is unlikely", Spock said almost simultaneously, and Kirk suppressed a smile at the familiarity of that.

"Captain, we gain nothing by diplomacy. Going over to that ship is a mistake", he pressed with urgency.

"I, too, agree. You should rethink your strategy", the Vulcan backed him up.

"I understand that", Pike growled, obviously unhappy that they thought him naïve and/or stupid. "I need officers who've been trained in advanced hand-to-hand combat!"

"I have training, sir", Sulu offered weakly from behind the Captain.

"Come with me", he ordered, and before Jim had a chance to enlist for whatever Pike had planned, he continued, "Kirk, you too. You're not supposed to be here anyway."

So Jim, Spock and Sulu followed him off the bridge, listening to his plan, while Bones hurried back to sickbay.

"Without transporters we can't beam off the ship. We can't assist Vulcan. We can't do our job", he explained eloquently. And wasn't that just why Jim admired Pike so much? Because even now, when he was about to (likely) sacrifice himself by going over to that Romulan ship, he was still thinking about their mission as a first priority. That was what a captain was supposed to do, yes, but Jim doubted that too many of them could do so with the same accepting calm as Pike did.

"Mr. Kirk, Mr. Sulu and engineer Olson will space-jump from the shuttle", Pike continued.

Okay, perhaps he didn't admire the man THAT much. Space-jump? Really?! But that wasn't all.

"You will land on that machine they've lowered into the atmosphere that's scrambling our gear, you'll get inside, you'll disable it, then you'll beam back to the ship", he elaborated.

That was one cheesy hell of a plan, as far as Jim was concerned. Cheesy in the sense of 'holy crap, that's got so many holes and so little substance'.

Even Spock was concerned, he could tell. The Vulcan shot him a worried look, as if he had temporarily forgotten that he was giving Jim the black-hole-treatment. Kirk would have been touched at any other time, but right now he was too busy trying to put all the different gruesome ways he could die in in the next ten minutes in alphabetical order.

"Mr. Spock, I'm leaving you in command of the Enterprise", Pike said when Jim had just made it past 'asphyxiation' over 'burning up', reaching 'cracking every single bone in my body'. "Once we have transport capability and communications backup, you contact Starfleet and report what the hell's going on here." They'd reached the turbolift, and Pike finally turned around to face them. "And if all else fails, fall back and rendezvous with the fleet in the Laurentian system." He looked sharply at Jim then and said, "Kirk, I'm promoting you to First Officer."

"What?", the blond asked surprised, and he would have been hurt by Spock's disbelieving "Captain?", but the truth was that he himself had a hard time comprehending this sudden decision.

"Please, I apologize", the Vulcan tried slightly more dignified after a second. "The complexities of Human pranks escape me."

"It's not a prank, Spock", Pike explained patiently, and Jim almost laughed at that, because seriously. How many times had he been in the position the Captain was right now? Spock was adorable when he was clueless, but he somehow expected (or at least very seriously hoped) that this little fact escaped Pike's notice. Jim was acutely aware of it, however, and it was the only reason he didn't strangle the Vulcan on the spot for having so little faith in him. "And I'm not the Captain, you are. Let's go."

Pike entered the turbolift, and Jim had just enough time to shoot Spock a challenging look and the ghost of a smirk before he headed after him. The Vulcan looked a little lost, but Kirk didn't have time to ponder upon that. He needed to focus on the mission at hand, and right now the future didn't look too great for any of them.

"Sir, after we knock out that drill, what happens to you?", he asked with a slight frown, but his voice was steady, betraying none of his musings.

"I guess you have to come and get me", Pike replied, but he didn't sound too reassured, and Jim immediately knew that the Captain had no illusions about coming back. He expected the same thing all of them thought would happen, and he was willing to face that. "Careful with the ship, Spock. She's brand new."

Kirk could hear the pain in Pike's voice as clearly as if it was his own. He could almost feel it because, yes, he understood what it must be like to give away your lady like that. That was the final proof he needed. The Captain didn't plan on returning. Jim was determined to make sure that he did.

When Jim entered the shuttle, he threw Olson an assessing glance. Something just didn't seem right about that guy. There was something weird about him, but Kirk couldn't put a finger on it.

"You've got the charges, right?", he asked to make sure, and the guy smiled at him. Actually SMILED.

"Oh yeah", he answered eagerly. "Can't wait to kick some Romulan ass."

Holy crap, Jim thought. Is this guy for real?

He felt Sulu tense beside him, obviously having the same thought, and good god, he didn't even want to think about the chances of them making it out alive anymore. He stared at Olson in something like terrified silence and hoped for the best.

"So what kind of combat training do you have?", Jim asked Sulu to ease his tension and because he was honestly curious. Kirk had been the instructor for advanced hand-to-hand combat at the Academy, and while he had taken the pilot on a couple of times for fun, the guy had never actually taken classes with him.

"Fencing", came the surprising response, and yeah, Jim totally did NOT expect that. Huh. He'd known Sulu for ages. How had that never come up before? Next he'd proclaim his undying love for botany or something.

When Pike told them 'Good luck' and shot them into space, Kirk couldn't help but appreciate the absurdity of it all. The man was about to sacrifice himself to a couple of insane Romulans. If anyone needed luck, it was him.

Today just wasn't a good day.

Sulu pulled his chute first, Kirk following close behind, and even from his current position he could tell that Olson's story would end badly. That guy had been unnerving him from the second he'd met him, but now it was obvious that the engineer was an adrenaline junkie, and Jim did NOT feel safe depending on the man.

They were getting increasingly worried, Sulu was verging on hysteric, and so was he, really, but Olson just wouldn't pull his chute, and HOLY SHIT, he'd never wanted to witness anything like that. He had never seen something burn up that fast. Probably a good thing, all things considered, but still.

When Kirk landed, he almost got fried himself, and yes, for a second he was terrified, but then his command training kicked in, and he resolved the situation almost gracefully, ridding himself of his helm and checking his surroundings.

He took on the two Romulans, but was immensely grateful when Sulu showed up, and seriously impressed when he saw his friend fight his opponent. Jim knew the pilot was pretty quick, of course, he had fought him himself a couple of times after all, but this was almost humbling. Since when could the guy jump like that? And where did that sword come from?

Sulu wasn't exactly strong, but fast and agile, and he had a sword, goddammit, while Jim had nothing. His phaser had followed Olson into oblivion, and Romulans were pretty strong as it turned out. What an eye-opener! Kirk was a good fighter, always had been, but that guy just shoved him around like he weighed nothing. Landing on the edge of the platform didn't exactly come as a surprise to Jim, but he was grateful nonetheless for Sulu's timely rescue.

They destroyed the drill, but the Romulans shot something into the giant hole beneath them, and Jim just knew that this wasn't good. Nothing was today.

They had almost made it back, the transporter functioning and all, but then Sulu fell off the drill, and there was just no way in hell Jim would let him plummet to his death. He jumped after him, and they were both terrified, but somehow that was a bit comforting; the knowledge that he wasn't the only one who was feeling like this, that he wasn't alone in this.

He could have kissed the whiz kid for his improbable rescue, but maybe not right now. It hadn't exactly been a soft landing, and he could hardly bring up the strength to roll off Sulu, let alone jump the boy beaming at them from the transporter controls.

"Thanks", Sulu forced out, just as shaken as Jim felt himself, and when he answered with "No problem", he meant it, hardly believing their luck.

Spock was a surprise, and Kirk was almost glad to see him, but he took that thought back as soon as the Vulcan opened his mouth.

"Clear the pad. I'm beaming to the surface."

"The surface of what?", Jim asked, for a second not comprehending his meaning. "What, you're going down there? Are you nuts?!" He felt his chest tighten painfully, only now realizing that what he'd felt before hadn't been real terror; this was. "Spock, you can't do that!"

"Energize!", the Vulcan ordered with a quick look at him, ignoring Kirk's pleading.

"Spock!"

Jim stared at the empty pad in front of him in disbelieving shock, fear gripping his insides, doing nasty things with his stomach that almost warranted a doctor, and dammit, he would have loved having Bones here at his side, but he knew his friend was most likely busy.

What followed, were the most agonizing five minutes Jim had ever experienced, and he was clenching his jaw painfully shut throughout all of it. His heart rate was off the charts, he was beginning to sweat, and with every passing second the thoughts of Spock dying down there became more insistent on being acknowledged. Kirk would do no such thing, of course. He'd face that possibility when it happened, and not a heartbeat sooner.

When Chekov began losing the signal, Jim's body just stopped functioning for a second, and all activity came to a halt. His brain wouldn't process what was happening, even as the Russian kid frantically manipulated the controls, finally breathing out a beaten "I've lost her", sounding for all the world like he had just killed the woman with his bare hands.

Jim knew, logically, that not all battles could be won, and that, theoretically, sometimes you just couldn't save everyone, and yes, accepting that was part of his job, but right now all he could think about was Spock, and GOD, he looked so heartbroken, Kirk almost started crying for him, knowing that the Vulcan could not.

There was an eerie silence, everyone staring in horror at the empty pad and Chekov, who looked like he would die from guilt any second now, even though it wasn't his fault. That he had been able to save them was a miracle, and expecting him to pull the same trick on Amanda was almost ridiculous, but Jim knew that telling him that wouldn't cheer the kid up right now, so he stayed silent, fixing his eyes on Spock.

He just wanted to go over to him and hug him until everything was better, telling him how much he loved him, and that he wasn't alone, but he couldn't. That hurt more than anything: the knowledge that all the comfort he could give would be unwelcome, an imposition even, straining those fragile Vulcan controls even more than they undoubtedly already were at this moment.

Thinking of Vulcans: they all looked shocked as far as Jim could tell, especially the one he recognized as Sarek, but seeing Spock among his kind actually showed Kirk just how different the Commander was. He had always thought of his former lover as distant and outwardly cold, but now he realized just how much worse it could have been.

Suddenly, he could clearly see the difficulties Spock had had to face in his youth, the Vulcan children taunting him because he was different, the adults always expecting him to crumble. It was so obvious now.

And that really almost made Jim cry because now the full impact of Amanda's death hit him, and FUCK, Spock must be screaming inside. The only person who had ever fully accepted - and more than that: LOVED him - for who he was, had just been killed in front of his eyes.

How much of an imposition would a hug be, really? Because Jim sure as hell needed one, and simply grabbing Sulu seemed inappropriate, friend or not.

"Have you confirmed that Nero is headed for Earth?", Spock asked in his usual detached tone.

"Their trajectory suggests no other destination, Captain", Uhura replied dutifully.

"Thank you, Lt."

"Earth may be his next stop, but we have to assume every Federation planet's a target", Jim pointed out from the chair, and DAMN that thing was comfortable. He was sorry Pike was being held hostage, and he was still planning to get him back, no matter what it took, but he could get seriously used to this kind of comfort. It felt... like home.

"Out of the chair", Spock ended his fun almost patiently, and Kirk begrudgingly obliged. He WAS acting Captain after all.

"Well, if the Federation is the target, why didn't they destroy us?", Chekov threw in from his position at the navigation controls, and Jim smiled slightly at the picture. Everyone was exactly where they should be. Well, except Spock and himself. Something was seriously wrong with that order, but they were getting there. The Vulcan had let him sit in the chair for almost three minutes before he shooed him out of it, after all.

"Why would they?", Sulu asked from the helm. "Why waste a weapon? We obviously weren't a threat."

"That is not it", Spock said convinced. "He said he wanted me to see something. The destruction of my home planet."

"How the hell did they do that, by the way?", Bones finally spoke up. He had been busy in sickbay at the time of the destruction, but Jim had filled him in on everything when he had had a visit there himself later. "And where did the Romulans get that kind of weaponry?"

"The engineering comprehension necessary to artificially create a black hole may suggest an answer", the Vulcan replied vaguely. "Such technology could theoretically be manipulated to create a tunnel through space-time."

"Dammit, man, I'm a doctor, not a physicist", Bones grumbled annoyed in response. "Are you actually suggesting they're from the future?"

And Jim knew that, yes, he was. And he was probably right, too.

"If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth", Spock said wisely, and he raised that eyebrow that drove Kirk insane at McCoy.

"How poetic", Bones noted with as much sarcasm as he could possible fill into a two-word sentence, managing pretty well.

"Then what would an angry future Romulan want with Captain Pike?", Jim asked the question that was most pressing in his mind. He wanted the man back, in one piece, if at all possible.

"As Captain he does know details of Starfleet's defences", Sulu pointed out helpfully.

"What we need to do is catch up to that ship, disable it, take it over and get Pike back", Kirk said with determination.

"We are technologically outmatched in every way", Spock reminded him. As if he needed to. "A rescue attempt would be illogical."

"Nero's ship would have to drop out of warp to overtake it", Chekov noticed.

"Then what about assigning engineering crews to try and boost our warp yield?", Jim suggested.

"Remaining power and crew are being used to repair radiation leaks on the lower decks...", the Vulcan started, and Kirk knew when to expect a long speech from the guy, so he tried to interrupt him in time.

"Okay. All right. All right", Jim said hastily.

"...and the damage to subspace communications, without which..."

"There's got to be SOME way!"

"...we cannot contact Starfleet", Spock finished. "We must gather with the rest of Starfleet. To balance the terms of the next engagement."

"There won't be a next engagement", Kirk told him angrily. Had he always been that stubborn? "By the time we've gathered, it will be too late." The Vulcan acknowledged him with an unreadable look, so Jim continued. "Look, you say he's from the future and knows what's gonna happen, then the logical thing is to be unpredictable."

"You're assuming that Nero knows how events are predicted to unfold", Spock noticed. "The contrary. Nero's very presence has altered the flow of history, beginning with the attack on the USS Kelvin, culminating in the events of today, thereby creating an entire new chain of incidents that cannot be anticipated by either party."

"An alternate reality", Uhura threw in.

"Precisely", the Vulcan nodded, and Jim wanted to throw up at the approving look he shot the woman. Yes, dammit, she was smart. Kirk knew that. He'd noticed it straight away at that bar in Iowa. Back then he'd loved it, and he still somehow did, but WHY did Spock have to like it too? Why couldn't he just have found a stupid, ugly, unsuccessful rebound instead of this depressing creature of perfection standing on the bridge with them?

He forced himself to keep his outward disgust to a minimum, not entirely successfully, if Bones' looks were anything to go by, and listened to Spock while painfully clenching his jaw shut.

"Whatever our lives might have been: if the time continuum was disrupted, our destinies have changed", the Vulcan elaborated. And wasn't that just neat? Jim wondered if in the original reality, where Nero didn't exist, Spock was with Uhura. Or maybe he was with him? If so, Kirk had some serious ass to kick. Which he did anyway, all things considered, because that guy HAD killed his father and was doing who-knows-what to Pike at this very moment.

"Mr. Sulu, plot a course to the Laurentian system. Warp factor 3", the Vulcan ordered, and that was that.

Only it wasn't.

"Spock, don't do that", Jim pleaded. He wondered if there was anything left of the guy he had fallen in love with, anything he could appeal to. He had never seen Spock this unbending, blindly following a pre-set course that hadn't been his choice to begin with and Pike's emergency plan. They weren't there yet. They still had a chance. If only he could make him see that. "Running back to the rest of the fleet for a con fab is a massive waste of time!"

"These orders were issued by Captain Pike when he left", Spock reminded him, and dammit, he knew that, all right, but Pike wasn't here. They had to get him, didn't he understand that?

"He also ordered us to go back and get him", Jim urged, his frustration growing with each passing second. "Spock, you are captain now. You have to-"

"I am aware of my responsibilities, Mr. Kirk", the Vulcan interrupted him.

"Every second we waste, Nero's getting closer to his next target", Kirk said, and he was definitely on edge now. Spock was about to make a huge mistake, and he just couldn't let that happen.

"That is correct and why I'm instructing you to accept the fact that I alone-"

"I will not allow us to go backwards!", Jim was almost yelling now, and even Bones had decided to join the discussion at this point, although he didn't seem to be on Kirk's side. And why was that? Just because his schemes had put them into a few unpleasant situations before? Well... yeah, okay, maybe that was a reason, but was it a _good_ one? Perhaps. But that wasn't the point. He was right about it, he knew that, he needed them to see, to understand...

But they wouldn't listen, his arguments fell on deaf ears, and the next thing he knew, Spock instructed security to escort him out. That was also pretty much the last thing he remembered, because after that there was a small fight, and then everything went black.

He woke up in a pod, on Delta Vega, apparently, and he soon realized that this was about the worst place Spock could have dumped him. There was NOTHING but ice in every direction, he was freezing his ass off, and the computer had classified it as 'unsafe', whatever that meant.

Oh, he was so pissed.

Spock couldn't react like a normal person when he had an argument with his ex, no. HE had to MAROON him on FUCKING HOTH. Oh, he would kill him when he got back, that much was certain. Love of his life or not: he was SO dead.

His feelings on the matter intensified a thousandfold when he was being chased by a giant local beast, which got eaten by another, even bigger one.

SO. DEAD.

Provided he survived this, of course.

Jim was impressed at the speed of his own escape, considering the climate and his gear, but he knew he could never outrun the monster. Fleeing into the cave probably wasn't his smartest move, but here he at least had a small chance of the thing getting stuck somewhere. Outside it was really just a matter of time before he became a humble lunch.

He didn't know what was luckier: the guy who turned up out of nowhere (and really, what were the chances of THAT anyway? He was in the middle of fucking nowhere), or the fact that the beast was scared of fire. Either way, he hadn't been chewed, and he would live to kill Spock, that was the important part.

"James T. Kirk", his saviour said, and imagine his surprise at THAT. He noticed that the man was Vulcan, and a pretty old one at that. Whatever a member of that species was doing on an ICE planet of all places was beyond him, but then again: it hadn't been his first choice either, who was he to judge the guy?

"Excuse me?", Jim managed to say, and yeah, that probably wasn't his best comeback ever, but he had just evaded certain death. He deserved a bit of a time-out.

"How did you find me?", the Vulcan asked, and WHOA, what?

"How do you know my name?", Kirk asked suspiciously. The other man took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving Jim.

"I have been and always shall be your friend", he answered mysteriously, and there was so much sadness in those words that he almost felt sorry for the guy, but really. This was weird.

"Look", he laughed nervously. "I don't know you."

"I am Spock", the Vulcan replied, and of all the things that had happened to him today, THIS was the most distressing one. His eyes wandered over the lean body in front of him, and yeah, there was a certain familiarity there, he couldn't deny it. He knew that figure better than anyone. This day was just getting better by the second, wasn't it?

"Bullshit", he said, because really. What else was there to say?

He had just discovered an older version of the ex lover that marooned him on this frozen hell in a cave. How was he supposed to react? No one ever told him what was the proper way to deal with a situation like that. Luckily, Spock (was that really Spock? Shit) didn't seem to expect anything from Jim, and he simply led him to a spot in the cave where he had set up camp.

They settled around the fire, and the Vulcan eyed him intently. Kirk had never felt anyone observing him this closely. Elder Spock (and yeah, let's call him that. He's not your Spock, Jim reminded himself) seemed to absorb every little detail about him. Every line, every angle... He looked like he was trying to memorize all of it, and yeah, Spock, his Spock, had always watched him closely too, sure, but never like THIS, like he was the most... cherished being in the whole of creation. Like he would never see him again.

And suddenly it dawned on him that if Elder Spock was even remotely as old as Jim thought he was, there was simply no way Elder Kirk was still alive, natural death or not. Could it be? Could Spock really still care this much about him after so many years? He almost didn't dare hope.

He knew, of course, that if their roles had been reversed, if it had been him waiting in this cave old and lonely, stranded in a reality that obviously wasn't his, and Spock had been dead for years, and a younger version of him suddenly stumbled in, he'd probably be crying by now, breakup or not. Elder Spock's composure was either limitless, or he wasn't as emotionally invested as Jim was.

"It is remarkably pleasing to see you again, old friend", the Vulcan broke the silence. "Especially after the events of today."

"Sir, I appreciate what you did for me today", Jim said and he almost sighed. This couldn't be Spock, not really. He wanted to believe it, he really did, but he knew the Vulcan didn't care about him. He'd never call him 'old friend'. He marooned him here for crying out loud! "But if you were Spock, you'd know: we're not friends." He looked at the Vulcan intently to deliver his point. "At all. You hate me. You marooned me here for mutiny."

"Mutiny?", the other asked surprised, and yes, there was definitely an emotion visible on his features, so what kind of Vulcan was that?

"Yes", Kirk sighed.

"You are not the Captain?" And that question definitely was unexpected. Shouldn't he know that if he really was Spock?

"Er... No, no", Jim smiled sadly. "You're the Captain. Pike was taken hostage."

"By Nero?", the Vulcan asked gloomily, and WAIT A MINUTE.

"What do you know about him?", Kirk asked curiously.

"He is a particularly troubled Romulan", Elder Spock explained with a hint of sadness. "Please. Allow me", he said and stood up, approaching Jim with an outstretched hand.

"Whoa", the blond reflexively leaned back. "What are you doing?"

"Our minds. One, and together", the Vulcan said as if that explained everything, and er, NO, it fucking didn't, but Jim didn't have time to argue, because he was already pressing his fingers against Kirk's face, and memories that weren't his started flooding his mind.

He saw an exploding star, a freaky spaceship, red matter, a destroyed Romulus, Nero, the black hole, Delta Vega, Vulcan...

And there were suddenly emotions, also not his, that took over his whole being, filling him up until he couldn't take it anymore, until he was sure he would burst from the sheer magnitude of them.

He had never felt this awful before. The guilt was eating him up, gnawing at his very bones, and that was nothing, NOTHING compared to the overwhelming sadness and PAIN that seemed to radiate from everywhere at once. HOLY SHIT, Vulcans could FEEL.

He suddenly felt so small, so insignificant because yeah, humans had emotions, sure. But Vulcans. Vulcans could FEEL. Jim was pretty sure that he would die if he had to actually live with that range of emotions.

He felt so many different kinds of guilt and pain that he almost didn't notice the cautious little thing lingering behind all that.

So that's what love feels like, huh?, Jim wondered as he inspected the stray feeling closer. It was so tiny, yet so... HUGE. And pure. He had never experienced anything like it. He loved Spock, more than anything, heck, even more than his own life or his own starship, he couldn't love anyone more, it just wasn't possible, but this... What he felt for Spock was nothing, NOTHING compared to what Spock, this Spock, felt for him.

This day had been awful, he was just falling from one bad situation into the next, he had almost died three times (on the Enterprise like the rest of the armada, and GOD don't even think about that, the drill, and Delta Vega), he had watched Spock's mother die for real, the only person that ever resembled anything like a father for him was being held hostage by a psycho killer who had just committed genocide, he had watched Vulcan being consumed by a black hole, most of its six BILLION inhabitants dying in the process, but he had held back through all of that.

Now he was crying.

He couldn't keep it in any longer, it was all becoming too much. Elder Spock's emotions had hit him like a shuttle. He could have handled the guilt and the pain and all that, but this... this LOVE thing was too much.

How was he ever supposed to compete with that?

If Spock, his Spock, ever decided he was worthy of such love (and frankly, right now it didn't look like there was any risk of that happening), he could never reciprocate. Ever. He just COULDN'T, no matter how much he wished to.

And that was the other thing because, whatever. It didn't matter anyway, did it? His Spock hated him. Couldn't even stand to look at him. Marooned him here on Delta Vega to be eaten by a fucking monster without so much as 'sorry, really'.

But here it was: living proof that not every Spock was an insensitive asshole. He was standing in front of the most breathtaking (literally) being he had ever encountered. And he loved HIM. HIM of all people.

Elder Kirk was the luckiest bastard of all time, ever.

When Elder Spock ended the meld he was breathing heavily, fighting the tears that wouldn't stop coming, staring at the Vulcan like he was surrounded by bright light.

"Forgive me", the raw voice said. "Emotional transference is an effect of the mind meld."

And shit, Jim felt like he was about to throw up. The feelings weren't that strong anymore, but they were still there, and he was clinging to that bit of love for dear life because it was the only one he'd ever get.

He tried to bring some distance between himself and Elder Spock to clear his head and control the tears.

"So you do feel", he remarked unnecessarily, needing the reassurance that he hadn't just imagined all of this.

"Yes", the Vulcan answered like it was the most natural thing in the world, and Jim almost laughed at that. His Spock would rather die than admit anything like that, he knew that better than anyone. He couldn't help but feel resentment for this because it obviously didn't have to be like that. Why did his Vulcan have to be so fucked up? Why couldn't he have had this Spock? Completely at ease with himself and the world, accepting everything as it was, even his emotions.

He loved Spock, he did, would always love him, but it seemed so unfair that he would have to fight so hard for every tiny bit of affection when the other Kirk had this emotionally healthy version of the Vulcan. He couldn't help but resent this other him for having everything he desired, illogical or not.

"Going back in time you changed all our lives", Jim noted bitterly, blaming this perfectly lovable example of Spock for leaving him with the android version of himself.

"Jim", Elder Spock said, and Kirk finally turned around at that. "We must go. There is a Starfleet outpost not far from here."

"Wait", the blond stopped him mid-stride. There was another thing burning on his mind he just had to know the answer to. "Where you came from... did I know my father?"

Elder Spock looked at him with something like pity, and Jim instinctively knew it was tainted by guilt.

"Yes", he answered carefully. "You often spoke of him as being your inspiration for joining Starfleet. He proudly lived to see you become Captain of the Enterprise."

"Captain?", Kirk repeated because this goal seemed impossibly far away now.

"A ship we must return you to as soon as possible", Elder Spock said, and that was that.

This day was just getting better and better, wasn't it?

Not far from here, my ass, Jim thought when he and Elder Spock finally made it to the Starfleet outpost. He'd almost frozen to death, and while he'd travelled over the icy desert, he'd thought about agonizing ways to kill his Vulcan.

So. Dead.

It was hard to keep these thoughts up when he was in the presence of the nice, warm Spock. He felt GOOD in his company, he ENJOYED it. Why couldn't Jim have had him? Why couldn't the love of his life love him back?

Being with Elder Spock was like being with a very old friend, it felt like they'd known each other for decades. He supposed they had, in a way. He wanted that. And he wanted it with HIS Spock.

No use dwelling on things that will never happen though, so Jim checked his surroundings to occupy his mind. Cosy.

A small alien greeted them, and they were led to another human who seemed to be asleep.

"What?", the man growled when his companion slapped him awake. He looked at them then, and he didn't seem happy. "You realize how unacceptable this is?"

"Fascinating", Elder Spock said, and it sounded like this was a good turn of events.

"What?", Jim asked, not following.

"Okay, I'm sure you're just doing your job", the man continued with a thick Scottish accent. "But could you not come a wee bit sooner? Six months I've been here! Living off Starfleet botty nips and a promise of a good meal. And I know exactly what's going on here. Okay? Punishment. Isn't it? Ongoing. For something that was CLEARLY an accident."

Jim was understandably confused, but the Vulcan was not.

"You are Montgomery Scott", he noticed with a half-smile.

"You know him?", Kirk asked surprised.

"Aye, that's me", the man confirmed. "You're in the right place. Unless there's another hard working equally starved Starfleet officer around."

"Me", the alien beside him reminded him.

"Shut up!", Scott said brusquely. "You don't eat anything. You can eat, like, a bean, and you're done!" He turned towards them again. "I'm talking about food. Real food. But you're here now, so thank you. Where is it?"

"You are in fact the Mr. Scott who postulated the theory of transwarp beaming?", Elder Spock asked, ignoring his food-rant.

"That's what I'm talking about", the man said. "How'd you think I wound up here? I had a _little_ debate with my instructor on the issue of relativistic physics and how it pertains to subspace travel. He seemed to think that the range of transporting something like a... like a... grapefruit was limited to about a hundred miles. I told him that I could not only beam a grapefruit from one planet to the adjacent planet in the same system - which is easy, by the way - I could do it with a life form." He stopped for a second. "So, I tested it on Admiral Archer's prize beagle."

"I know that dog", Jim frowned. It had viciously attacked him once when he encountered it at the Academy. "What happened to it?"

"I'll tell you when it reappears", Scott said uncomfortably. "I don't know. I do feel guilty about that."

Good riddance.

"What if I told you that your transwarp theory was correct?", Elder Spock got down to business. "That it is indeed possible to beam onto a ship that is travelling at warp speed?"

"I think that if that equation had been discovered, I'd have heard about it", the man replied with a tone that suggested he would have been the very first to.

"The reason you haven't heard of it, Mr. Scott, is because you haven't discovered it yet", the Vulcan pointed out, and that silenced the Scotsman for a heartbeat.

"Are you from the future?", he frowned once he'd collected himself. Jim smiled at that. The guy seemed pretty smart, and he somehow felt like they'd get along great.

"He is", Kirk nodded towards Elder Spock. "I'm not."

"Well, that's brilliant!", Scott exclaimed. "Do they still have sandwiches there?"

With that, Jim just KNEW that they'd become friends. He felt it deep down, already admiring the man's brilliance and humour, but when the guy mentioned the Enterprise and talked about her like she was a real lady, Kirk was CONVINCED they were made for each other.

He NEEDED to get command of the Enterprise, and he needed Scotty there with him.

He listened to the engineer arguing with Elder Spock about how impossible his plan was, and acknowledged the surprised "Huh. Imagine that. It never occurred to me to think of space as the thing that was moving" before he turned his attention to the Vulcan.

"You're coming with us, right?", he asked hopefully. He couldn't do this on his own. He needed someone who believed in him on that ship, and right now it looked like Elder Spock was the only one who did.

"No, Jim", came the careful response. "That is not my destiny."

"Your dest...", the blond started disbelievingly. Didn't he understand? He needed him. His Spock hated his guts, he couldn't face him on his own. "He- the other Spock is not gonna believe me, only you can explain what the hell's happened." It was true. Partly.

"Under no circumstances can he be made aware of my existence", the Vulcan interrupted him. "You must promise me this."

"You're telling me I can't tell you that I'm following your own orders? Why not? What happens?", he asked with a hint of desperation. Someone needed to tell Spock that he didn't have to be a jerk, that he could be nice and great like this version. Kirk would go crazy otherwise.

"Jim, this is one rule you cannot break", the Vulcan told him with emphasis. "To stop Nero, you alone must take command of your ship."

"How?", Jim pouted slightly. "Over your dead body?" Because this was surely what this would come down to. His anger towards Spock had faded considerably, thanks to the warm feeling this Vulcan caused in him, but he knew the second his former lover behaved like he always did – cold and distant, and damn stubborn at that -, he would probably kill him anyway.

"Preferably not", Elder Spock admitted. "However, there is Starfleet regulation 619. 619 states that any command officer who is emotionally compromised by the mission at hand must resign set command."

"So, you're saying that I have to emotionally compromise you... guys", Jim forced out. That was something he did not look forward to. What was he supposed to do? Yell at him for breaking his heart in front of the whole damn bridge?

"Jim", the Vulcan said, and his voice was so raw with emotion that Kirk had to resist the urge to put his arms around the alien and tell him everything would be okay. "I just lost my planet. I can tell you, I am emotionally compromised. What you must do is get me to show it."

Jim wanted to say something, anything, but words didn't seem like they could ever be enough. He HAD just lost his planet, and Kirk knew what it felt like, had experienced it through the meld, and even before that it had hurt because he cared about Vulcan too.

He didn't know what else to do, so he tried to lighten the mood with humour like he always did when things started to get heavy.

"Coming back in time, changing history", he smiled easily, "that's cheating."

Elder Spock smirked at that, actually smirked!

"A trick I learned from an old friend", he admitted, and Jim knew immediately that he was talking about him. The _Kobayashi Maru_ seemed so far away now, had it really only been a day? It felt like a lifetime, and Kirk couldn't help but wonder if in this other reality he'd tricked Spock too and attracted his wrath. He didn't think so. He couldn't imagine this Vulcan ever getting angry like his did.

"Live long and prosper", Elder Spock said and raised his hand in the Vulcan salute.

Jim hoped that this wouldn't be it, that he'd see him again, but he didn't know. He couldn't even be sure whether he'd survive today, after all.

Small steps, he thought and smiled at the Vulcan in return.

He panicked when Scotty got stuck in the pipes, and relief washed over him as soon as he prevented the man from getting torn apart. That didn't last long, of course, because today nothing would turn out right, so encountering Cupcake on his way to the bridge didn't exactly come as a surprise.

As luck would have it, the tall security man delivered him to exactly the person he wanted to see right now anyway, so maybe that did count as a win after all.

Spock's face when they turned up on the bridge was almost worth all the crap he'd been through today. He'd never seen the Vulcan this furious, and he forced an involuntary smile at the picture down.

"Who are you?", he asked, all illusions of patience he usually kept upright gone.

"He's with me", Jim explained unhelpfully, intent on pissing the 'acting Captain' off as much as possible.

"We are travelling at warp speed", Spock continued. "How did you manage to beam aboard this ship?"

"You're the genius, you figure it out", Kirk said unfazed. He knew this was killing the Vulcan, and he enjoyed it.

"As acting Captain of this vessel, I order you to answer the question", Spock glared at him dangerously.

"Well, I'm not telling, _acting Captain_", Jim answered deadpan. "What? What now? That doesn't frustrate you, does it? My lack of cooperation, that doesn't make you angry?"

Oh, he knew EXACTLY what Spock was thinking right now. He looked all but ready to strangle the blond.

Two could play at this game though, and just as he knew the Vulcan, the guy knew him.

"Are you a member of Starfleet?", Spock fixed Scott with an intent glare, realizing Jim wouldn't reveal anything.

"I- um... Yes", the engineer admitted. "Can I get a towel?"

"Under penalty of court martial I order you to explain to me how you were able to beam aboard this ship while moving at warp", the Vulcan said in his best 'I dare you to defy me'-voice.

"Well", Scotty started, but Jim interrupted him quickly.

"Don't answer him."

"You will answer me", Spock forced out, and yap, definitely angry now. Scotty squinted at both of them, coming to a decision.

"I'd rather not take sides", he announced, making Jim love him even more.

"What is it with you, Spock?", the blond asked curiously, invading the other's private space now. "Hm? Your planet was just destroyed, your mother murdered, and you're not even upset."

This was a real question, hanging in the air. Jim was playing dirty, he knew it, and he felt guilty about it, all right, but he also really wanted to know the answer to this. WHY was Spock so cold? Why couldn't he just submit to feelings like everyone else? How could not even the death of his own mother illicit an emotional response from him?

"If you are presuming that these experiences in any way impede my ability to command this ship, you are mistaking", the Vulcan growled, and OF COURSE he knew what Kirk was getting at. He knew him like no one else did, after all. But Jim couldn't give up, he needed to do this. This was more important than his personal feelings telling him to stop before he hurt Spock.

"And yet you were the one who said fear was necessary for command", Kirk reminded him. "I mean, did you see his ship? Did you see what he did?"

"Yes, of course I did", came the strained response, and GOD he was so close now, he could almost touch him. Almost.

"So, are you afraid or aren't you?", Jim asked, pushing further.

"I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion", Spock said, and he was getting louder now. He was angry, but not angry enough. He needed to push further.

"Then why don't you stop me?", Jim challenged.

"Step away from me, Mr. Kirk", the Vulcan ordered, but it was almost weak, his resolve was crumbling.

"What is it like not to feel anger or heartbreak?", Kirk asked, and again, this was a serious question. He felt the resentment rising in him, the by now ancient questions coming up again. Why couldn't you feel how I feel, Spock?, Jim wondered silently. How can you be so cold? If not even the death of your own mother could crack your Vulcan shell, what chance do I have? "Or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you."

"Back away from me", Spock growled, and Jim could already mentally see him hitting his head against a console, but it wasn't enough. Not yet.

"You feel nothing!", he accused the Vulcan now, almost convinced it was true, even though the other Spock had proven this was not the case. "It must not even compute for you!"

And the next part was hard, but he needed to say it. Even if it meant losing Spock forever, this mission was more important than his aching heart.

"You never loved her!"

He knew it wasn't true, the Vulcan loved his mother very much, he had seen the way he looked at her pictures, his eyes softening whenever he spoke about her, and it hurt. Almost as much as being shoved through the room, punch after punch hitting him painfully, adding to the already existing injuries, leaving Jim breathless on the helm, Sulu having jumped away quickly when Spock had thrown him there.

Kirk had known, in theory, that Vulcans were stronger than humans, but like the Romulans on the drill it still came as a surprise just how easily Spock could manoeuvre him around the bridge.

When the hot hand closed around his throat, he was almost ready to say goodbye to the world, at least glad to die with the knowledge that he was capable of getting Spock to lose his control. This was no small feat, after all, Jim knew that from experience.

He would have killed him, Kirk was pretty sure of it, if Sarek, of all people, hadn't reminded the Vulcan that there was a world outside his burning rage.

At least Spock had the decency to look shocked and appalled by what he'd done, somehow easing Jim's suspicion that he'd intended to do something like that for months now.

"Doctor, I am no longer fit for duty", the Vulcan forced out, not looking at McCoy as he addressed him. "I hereby relinquish my command based on the fact that I have been... emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log."

When Spock left, Jim didn't feel like he had won.

Funny, he thought. I always wanted command of the Enterprise, and now I'd like nothing more than take it all back and tell him I'm sorry.

Scotty broke the tense silence, everyone still in shock about what they'd just witnessed, and it seemed so unreal that they were still here, on the bridge, about to face the Romulans.

"Well, congratulations, Jim", Bones grumbled. "Now we've got no Captain and no goddamn First Officer to replace him."

Kirk took a second to collect himself, banning all personal feelings from his mind for the moment.

"Yeah, we do", he announced and sat down in the captain's chair.

"What?"

"Pike made him First Officer", Sulu explained to the others.

"You gotta be kidding me", Bones said.

"Thanks for the support", Jim replied with as much sarcasm as he could muster, making sure his friend understood that this response wasn't constricted to the situation at hand but also applied to his not-stopping-Spock when he got thrown off the ship.

"I sure hope you know what you're doing", Uhura said when she approached his chair, and Kirk understood her weariness. He had just insulted her boyfriend in every way he could think of in front of the whole bridge crew, and while he hated that thing between them, Jim couldn't help but acknowledge her concern for Spock, and frankly, if he'd just witnessed this exchange, relationship or not, he'd be cautious of following his orders too. "Captain."

"So do I", he admitted because really, what else could he say? He was terrified. He didn't want to do this on his own, everyone on the bridge thought he was insane, his First Officer had stormed off after having beaten the crap out of him, he had never had command over a vessel before, and there would be no backup coming to save them.

Yes, he was terrified, and he was sure everyone knew it. But that wouldn't stop him from doing what was necessary, and he'd be damned if he'd let anything show.

Starship captains often thought they were invincible, and that had a good reason. They needed to be. It was their job. Everyone else on the crew could show open panic and fear, but never the Captain.

Suddenly, he knew exactly what Spock must have felt like, and he hated himself a bit more.

"Whatever the case, we need to get aboard Nero's ship undetected", Kirk insisted.

"You can't just go in there guns blazing, Jim", Bones sighed.

"Look, I-"

"Captain Kirk, Captain Kirk!", the Russian kid interrupted them eagerly.

"Yes, Chekov", Jim answered with a hint of annoyance. "What is it?"

"Based on the Nerada course from Vulcan I have projected that Nero will travel past Saturn", he explained. "Like you said: we need to stay invisible to Nero or he'll destroy us. If Mr. Scott can get us to warp factor 4 AND if we drop out of warp behind one of Saturn's moons, say... Titan, the magnetic distortion from the planet's rings will make us invisible to Nero's sensors. From there, as long as the drill is not activated, we can beam aboard the enemy ship."

"Aye, that might work", Scotty agreed while he was attempting to dry himself.

"Wait a minute, kid", Bones threw in, "how old are you?"

"Seventeen, sir", came the cheerful response, and OH GOD, had he given the boy alcohol?

No, Jim thought, he got the Vodka bottles himself. Good. He trusted the Russian wonderkid ever since he'd drunk him under the table while explaining relativistic quantum mechanics, but the doctor didn't need to know that.

"Oh, good", Bones said with sarcasm. "He's seventeen."

Jim was about to argue, when another voice interrupted them.

"Doctor", Spock said from a distance, "Mr. Chekov is correct. I can confirm his telemetry. If Mr. Sulu is able to manoeuvre us into position, I can beam aboard Nero's ship, steal back the black hole device and, if possible, bring back Captain Pike."

No way in hell.

"I won't allow you to do that, Mr. Spock", Jim said with as much authority as he could muster. Did the Vulcan really think he'd let him get killed by a couple of crazed Romulans?

"Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry", he explained, and OF COURSE the bastard would have a reasonable explanation for attempted suicide. "Our cultural similarities will make it easier for me to access the ship's computer to locate the device." He stopped for a moment. "Also, my mother was human. Which makes Earth the only home I have left."

How was he supposed to argue with that? Forbidding Spock to go now would make him a giant jackass, and he'd been behaving like one enough for one day. There was only one solution.

"I'm coming with you", he announced, and the Vulcan must have known that arguing would be no use, because he smiled slightly at him.

"I would cite regulation, but I know you will simply ignore it", he noticed.

Jim actually chuckled at that, because HELL, did he know. He felt warm all of a sudden, realizing only now that he'd been cold all along. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe this could still turn out right. He hoped with all his optimism that they'd both make it through this mission alive, so they could fix this. He didn't want to die with things being like that. He needed this to be okay.

"See?", Kirk smiled slightly. "We are getting to know each other."

They really were. Perhaps that had been their mistake. They needed to be friends first before they could become lovers, he realized that now.

All in good time, Jim thought. For now they had a mission to worry about.

He clapped Spock on the shoulder for good measure, knowing it would irritate the Vulcan, but unable to resist. Teasing him was too enjoyable.

"How are we, Scotty?", Jim asked tensely when he entered the transporter room. There was so much that could go wrong with this plan.

"Unbelievably sir", the engineer calmed some of his worries. "The ship is in position."

"Whatever happens, Mr. Sulu", he sighed when the connection to the bridge had been established, "if you think you have the tactical advantage, you fire on that ship, even if we're still on board. That's an order."

He would prefer if it didn't come to that, of course, but they had to be prepared for everything.

There was still something unexpected that might as well have hit him right in the face, even though he'd done everything in his power to make this mission a success: when he turned around, he spotted Uhura sticking her tongue down Spock's throat, and his breathing stopped for a second.

When his heartbeat remained elevated, but consistent, he thought with a bitter smile that he was still alive, obviously underestimating his own composure when he'd been convinced he'd die on the spot.

Why was this day set on mocking him? Hadn't he suffered enough already? Did the universe have to throw one bad thing after another?

At least it couldn't get much worse than that. Now he'd seen everything. There was NOTHING that could hurt him more, and suddenly he'd like to have that Vulcan 'we do not feel, peasants'-voodoo too, because this was killing him.

It was a bit ironic that the guy who did have this magical power was currently the one causing the pain, therefore not needing it.

Fuck everything.

Jim tried his best not to listen to their conversation, but when Spock called her Nyota, he couldn't help what frown. He'd been trying to get Uhura's first name for three years now, and he found out about it because she was getting cosy with Spock? SERIOUSLY?

He felt personally victimized by the universe today. This couldn't be for real. Chance could never be this cruel.

He nodded at her uncomfortably, and she had the decency to look like she was feeling slightly bad for him, at least. He forced his stomach to calm down, and tried to break the tension between him and Spock by saying something trivial rather than 'I would like to strangle both of you while you're sleeping'.

"So her first name's Nyota?", he asked, and his voice sounded forced even to his own ears, but if the Vulcan noticed, he didn't mention it.

"I have no comment on the matter", he replied instead, and maybe he really didn't. Maybe there was nothing left to say between them after all.

Fuck.

Jim had never been so glad that he was a great shot and a fast runner ever before. Either there was no common sense in the design of the enemy ship, or Scotty was an idiot after all, but right now wasn't the time to decide which was the case.

They evaded the Romulans skilfully, and when they were relatively hidden, Jim turned to Spock.

"I'll cover ya."

"Are you certain?", the Vulcan asked, and Kirk almost groaned at that. Did he really think he'd let Spock die just because he was being consumed by jealousy?

"Yeah, I've gotcha", he replied and shot the Romulan that was aiming at his First Officer.

He recognized Elder Spock's ship immediately from the mind meld, following his Vulcan inside.

"I foresee a complication", he said after a second. "The design of this ship is far more advanced than I have anticipated."

"Voice print and face recognition analysis enabled. Welcome back, Ambassador Spock", a computerized voice greeted them.

"That's weird", Jim said awkwardly, giving no indication that he was surprised by this turn of events, but unwilling to spill anything about it either.

"Computer, what is your manufacturing origin?", Spock asked, and Kirk knew he had already guessed what was going on here before the computer had answered his question.

"It appears that you have been keeping important information from me", the Vulcan confronted him with an accusing tone.

"You'll be able to fly this thing, right?", Jim asked, evading the unspoken question between them.

"Something tells me I already have", Spock replied, and yeah, he'd totally figured out everything now. Kirk knew that look: should they survive this, he'd have to endure a long session of never-ending questions and accusations.

He was looking forward to it.

"Good luck", the blond smiled when he realized that he was standing far too close to the other now, feeling the heat radiating from the warm body in front of him.

He turned away quickly, before he could do or say anything he might regret in the unlikely event of his survival, but Spock stopped him from leaving.

"Jim", he said, and for a second it was almost like it used to be, before all this crap had happened. Before today, before the _Kobayashi Maru_, before the breakup...

He faced the Vulcan again, not sure what to expect, but anticipating it nevertheless.

"The statistical likelihood that our plan will succeed is less than 4.3%", Spock explained, and Jim almost laughed at the familiarity. Typical.

"It will work", he assured him, burning to leave before he had a chance to jump the Vulcan on the spot.

"In the event that I do not return, please tell Lt. Uhura-"

"Spock", Jim interrupted him quickly, before he could say anything else. Hadn't he established a couple of minutes ago that this day couldn't get worse? That he'd already witnessed the most painful thing that could ever possibly happen?

Now he knew that watching Uhura kiss his former lover was NOTHING. Standing here, almost condemned to tell her that his Vulcan, HIS Spock, LOVED her, HER and not him!, was the most agonizing thing he had ever experienced.

This was all a cruel cosmic joke.

"It'll work", he repeated, burning to get away, fleeing as quickly as he could.

Encountering Nero wasn't exactly a surprise, it was his ship after all, but he'd hoped he could avoid it anyway. The Romulan was strong, and his right hand was even worse, but when he shot him, he felt a wave of satisfaction at evading certain death once again, chasing off to find Pike.

When he found the Captain and felt the Enterprise beaming them out, he was oddly proud of everyone on board the ship, especially Sulu. They had followed his orders, despite his inexperience and less than ideal promotion, and they had done so remarkably well.

Relief washed over him when he spotted Spock on the pad next to him, and he felt even better when Bones hurried through the door, obviously glad to see him in one piece, taking Pike out of his arms. Jim thought for a second that maybe not everything was going bad today. They had the Captain back. Perhaps this could be the start of a lucky streak.

He was at least just as glad as the Vulcan was when Nero refused to accept their help and chose certain death instead. He would have saved the Romulans, of course, but he didn't feel any remorse for letting them die after what they'd done today. Vulcan, all his friends on the other ships... No, watching Nero going down wasn't a hardship at all.

Perhaps lingering behind to shoot the enemy ship into oblivion hadn't been the smartest course of action.

He remained as calm as possible when he gave Scotty the order to go to maximum warp, but when he heard the hull cracking, he felt himself overcome with reasonable panic. He knew he wasn't the only one eyeing the ceiling suspiciously, desperately trying to find a way out of this situation.

"All she's got isn't good enough!", he yelled into the comm. "What else you got?"

He was panicking now, as was Scotty, if his harried voice was anything to go by.

"Erm... Okay- if we eject the core and detonate, the blast could be enough to push us away. I can't promise anything though!", the engineer suggested wildly.

Jim stared at the cracking viewscreen for a second before he decided that it was either that or certain death.

"Do it! Do it! Do it!", he ordered frantically, hoping that it would be enough, and that the hull of the Enterprise would stand the strain.

The blast that shoved them away from the black hole was the best thing Jim had seen today, it really was, and he almost found it pretty.

Everyone was staring at him now, and he was taking a couple of deep breaths, having a hard time believing what had just happened himself.

He instinctively turned around to face Spock, as if he'd always been there, as if they'd done this a thousand times before, and surprisingly enough, the Vulcan was looking back at him, definite approval visible in his eyes.

Jim openly laughed now.

It was over. They'd done it. Everything was going to be fine. This day had been shit all around, but in the end it all turned out okay.

He could have cried with relief.


	10. Chapter 10

Note 1:

Thank you all so very much for reading this and for your kind words. You guys make my day, thank you. When I started this I never intended for it to become this... big, but our journey isn't finished yet, and I'm glad you're with me on this one.

It's a constant joy ride. Let's see what the boys do next.

* * *

Accepting the commendation was easy, and surprisingly enough, so was relieving Pike. He thought he would feel guilty for taking away his ship, but when he saw the Admiral's eyes fixed on him with an obvious sparkle, he knew he was doing the right thing. Pike would never command a starship again, and of all the possible replacements he wanted Jim to take over.

It was the best moment in his entire life.

When the Admiral grabbed his hand and told him his father would be proud of him, he knew it didn't matter. Pike was, and that was the most important thing.

Another great moment was entering the bridge of the Enterprise for the first time as her official Captain, wearing command gold and all. Seeing all his friends exactly where they should be warmed his heart, but nothing compared to what happened next.

"Permission to come aboard, Captain", Spock said as soon as he stepped out of the turbolift, and right there was the most perfect picture Jim had ever seen.

"Permission granted", he replied, openly smiling at the Vulcan approaching him.

"As you have yet to select a first officer, respectfully I would like to submit my candidacy", Spock explained. "Should you desire, I can provide character references."

"It would be my honour, Commander", Jim smiled in response, and that was the truth. He told Sulu to take them out, and for a couple of hours he simply enjoyed the view.

When it was time for the shift change, Kirk stayed behind, admiring his bridge for a moment longer. He still couldn't believe it. He was captain of the Enterprise now. If it wouldn't have put him in a somewhat compromising position, he'd have kissed each console and hugged his chair by now. As it was though, he refrained himself from doing any of that and forced his eyes away from the viewscreen.

Turning around, he noticed Spock was still standing beside the turbolift, watching him closely, slightly raising an eyebrow when Jim's eyes met his.

"Am I correct in my assumption that you are pleased with your current position?", he asked, and there was definitely a small smile playing around his lips.

"You bet", the Captain chuckled. "She's a beautiful lady, and I still can't believe she's mine. I'm just waiting for some uptight Admiral to show up here and tell me they've made a mistake and take her away from me."

"An unlikely scenario, since we are currently travelling at warp speed, and Mr. Scott has so far refused to share his secret of transwarp beaming with the rest of the universe", the Vulcan pondered.

"And I am eternally grateful for that", Kirk chuckled. "Are you waiting for something specific, or-" He gestured towards the turbolift.

"Negative", his First Officer replied quickly. "I was merely... 'admiring the view', I believe you would call it."

"No, Spock", Jim shook his head slightly and stepped towards the turbolift. "**I **was admiring the view. You were just staring at m-" He stopped. "Oh."

"Indeed, Captain", the Vulcan raised an eyebrow as he followed the other man off the bridge. "Since we are headed in the same direction, may I have a word with you?"

"You can have several words with me", Kirk smiled warmly. "What about?"

"I believe a more private location would be better suited for this conversation", Spock admitted as they stepped out of the turbolift. "Would you be inclined to join me in my quarters?"

"Would I-", the blond repeated and laughed. "Sure. Why not?"

If the Vulcan wasn't careful, he'd get more than he'd bargained for, Jim knew that. He had been suppressing the urge to jump him ever since he'd stepped on that bridge a few hours ago. Being alone with him now would be... interesting.

Spock nodded and stopped at the door next to the Captain's, opening it and gesturing for his companion to enter.

Jim had expected many things, like pictures of the Vulcan's mother or the planet itself, the weapons and ornaments from his old apartment at the Academy maybe, and all those things were present, yes, but so was the plant.

The blasted plant he had carried all over the campus with his best friend, cursing and swearing all the way through, which he had always suspected Spock didn't even like, was standing in the corner. And it was finally not hideous anymore. It had started blossoming, and pink blooms were dangling fragilely down the leafs. It actually looked nice, and Jim smiled slightly at the beauty of it. Shame he wouldn't get to see it much, but maybe Uhura would appreciate this bit of flora.

No, don't think about that, he frowned internally. You'll just ruin a perfectly good moment.

When he was just ready to look back at Spock again, he noticed something else, something that made his heart skip a beat. It couldn't be. Could it?

He squinted slightly at the bedside table, focusing his eyes on the small object standing there, and yes, he'd been right.

It was a picture of him.

One of those press release ones that had the Enterprise edited into the background, and he was sporting his command gold and a huge smile.

And it was standing on Spock's nightstand.

He swallowed heavily at that, and when he tore his eyes away from the picture, he noticed that the Vulcan had been observing him closely, and Jim suddenly felt conned.

They could have gone to his room. Spock had wanted him to see this.

Two could play at this game.

"So what did you wanna talk about?", the Captain asked, feigning ignorance.

"Recent events have... changed certain aspects of my life", the Vulcan started carefully, his eyes never leaving Kirk's. "I... find myself very much inclined to resolve matters that so far have been evolving unsatisfactory."

"Why, whatever do you mean?", the blond snorted and started pacing the small room, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Jim", Spock said, and it was barely more than a whisper. The young man stopped, looking at the Vulcan again. "I understand I have hurt you. For that, I am sorry. I will not insult you by asking you to forgive me, but I would be grateful were you to accept an explanation."

"Please, I'm burning to hear that", Kirk snarled. "Would you like to start with the one for breaking my heart, or would you rather elaborate why you abandoned me on FUCKING HOTH?!"

"Fascinating", the Vulcan murmured, not entirely successful in hiding his slight flinch at Jim's words. "I had anticipated you would enquire about Lt. Uhura first, but I see I have misjudged you once again. Very well. I shall answer all your questions, regardless of order."

"By all means", the blond growled and slumped down on a chair. Spock joined him by sitting down on the other side of the desk, eyeing him intently.

"I have not been entirely honest with you, Jim", the Vulcan explained, and if that wasn't a great start, Kirk didn't know what could have made it better. "When I discovered my... immediate attraction to your person, I attempted to ignore it, but I soon understood that this was an impossible task. I allowed myself to succumb to your... I hesitate to say 'demands', but you were very intent on reaching a specific goal in our interactions. I welcomed it, but at the same time I knew that it could not last."

"Why?", the Captain asked, and no, he was not pouting.

"Because", Spock paused and sighed, yes, actually SIGHED, "I was not a free Vulcan at the time, Jim."

"So...", the human said slowly and frowned. "Either you're telling me that all this time you've been secretly a slave, which would be odd, all things considered, or that you've been MARRIED, which wouldn't be any less weird, to be honest."

The Vulcan looked at him with a pained expression, and since when exactly was Spock so open about his emotions?

"I fear you are correct", he forced out, and suddenly he looked very tired. "Although it was less than a marriage it was more than a betrothal."

"You're kidding", Jim said deadpan, because he MUST have been. There was simply no way this was actually happening.

"Believe me when I say: if only", Spock sighed.

"Why are you telling me this now?", the other man asked angrily. "Why didn't you inform me of this little bit of information BEFORE I fell in love with you?!"

"I could not", the Vulcan admitted, and he looked uncomfortable now. "I did not wish to stop whatever was developing between us. I apologize. It was selfish, and I do not expect you to forgive me, but it is the truth. I did not wish to sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of a bond I have never asked for."

"Have never-", Jim repeated and stared at him in confusion. He had officially stopped understanding what his First Officer was going on about.

"Vulcan children are bonded to a partner of their parents' choice at the age of seven", Spock explained.

"Okay", Kirk said slowly, trying to process that. "Okay. But that still doesn't explain why you're telling me now. What's the use?"

"I am informing you of this now", the Commander said with emphasis and looked straight into his eyes, "because my betrothed, T'Pring, has perished with Vulcan."

Jim stared at him for a moment in silence.

"I'm... sorry", he said eventually, only half-lying.

"There is no reason why either you or I should mourn her death any more than any other Vulcan's", Spock pointed out logically.

"Yeah, but", the blond gestured around helplessly, "she was your... you know... betrothed."

"Jim", the Vulcan sighed. "You do not seem to understand the purpose behind this conversation. I never had any emotional attachment to T'Pring. This was mutual, so pursuing a relationship with you did not seem problematic at first, but when it occurred to me that you had no intention of ending our liaison, I realized that I could not allow it to continue."

"Why?", Kirk asked, suddenly angry. "If you had no moral crisis over cheating on her, why end it? And if you intended to end it, why even start?"

"I believe I have already informed you of my selfish reasons for pursuing a romantic relationship with you", Spock reminded him. "As for your other question: I had expected you to terminate our liaison approximately 2.364 months after it had started. When you did not, I realized that I had to do so myself."

"WHY, Spock?", Jim asked, and no, he wasn't desperate, not yet. "If you wanted it too, why did you do this?"

"If I had not terminated our relationship, the pon farr would have", the Vulcan explained with a strained voice. "And I wished to be... me when the time for us to part came."

"What are you talking about?", he whined, and NOW he was desperate. "What the fuck is a pon farr?"

"We do not speak of this to outworlders", Spock said, sounding distinctly unhappy now. "We hardly mention it among our own. However", at that he fixed Jim with his dark eyes again, "I believe you have a right to be informed of this. It may concern you in the future."

"It may?", Jim smiled, trying to ease some of the Commander's tension.

"Depending on the outcome of this conversation, yes", he nodded slightly. "The Pon farr is a Vulcan mating cycle. It is... difficult to explain. Suffice it to say that the male under its influence must either mate or die."

"So what?", Kirk shrugged easily. Spock's ears had taken on a visible greenish hue, and Jim knew him well enough to know that he was blushing. He could not help but think it cute, and it took considerable effort to remain in his seat and refrain from touching the warm face in front of him. "We could have mated. Not like it would have been the first time."

"It would not have been an option", the Vulcan shook his head slightly. "During the pon farr, only the bondmate is capable of quenching the fever. A mental link is necessary. Had I been affected while we were still in a romantic relationship, I would nevertheless have required to return to T'Pring, regardless of my feelings for you."

Jim considered this for a moment, deciding he could accept this as an explanation, but it wasn't enough. Not yet.

"Why are you telling me this now?", he asked carefully. "You could have just said that when you broke my heart, you know."

"I did not wish to burden you with something I was unable to either change or explain at the time", Spock admitted. "However, now that T'Pring has perished, my situation has changed."

"Is that an offer?", Jim smiled.

"If you wish", the Vulcan raised an eyebrow.

"Are you kidding me?", the Captain laughed bitterly. "You can be such a jerk sometimes, Spock. What are you playing at? Wasn't the first time around entertainment enough? Do you really need to do it again?"

"I do not-", the Commander started, obviously confused, but Kirk interrupted him quickly.

"Is this some sort of sick game for you?", he continued angrily. "Is it really that much fun to watch the lovesick human struggle to move on?"

"Jim, please", Spock said with emphasis. "I assure you, I have no intention of misleading you. Everything I have told you was nothing but the truth."

"Oh really?", the blond snorted.

"Affirmative."

"If you want me so fucking much, then why did you MAROON me on HOTH?!", he yelled, furious now. The memories of that place were still fresh in his mind, the monsters haunting him in his nightmares. And worst of all: Spock, the other Spock, taunting him with love he could never have, because they weren't like that. He wasn't his Kirk, and it was the wrong Spock, and it sucked.

"That is the second time you have referred to Delta Vega as Hoth", the Vulcan pointed out. "I fail to understand-"

"Oh, shut up, Spock, it's a Star Wars reference", Jim growled. "You've watched it with me, remember?"

"Indeed", the Commander said with a raised eyebrow.

"Forget it", Kirk sighed. "Just... WHY, Spock? I was trying to save the ship, not assassinate you. You didn't have to MAROON me."

"In retrospect, your decision was the right one, Jim", the Vulcan said slowly. "But at the moment in question I did not recognize it as such. Again, I do apologize. However, your continued existence on the ship seemed counterproductive, you were clearly not willing to accept my command decision, and frankly, your very presence proved distracting."

"My presence was distracting?", the human grinned mischievously despite himself.

"There is no need to repeat what I have just clearly stated", Spock scolded him. "And as you will recall, the pod told you explicitly not to leave it. It was due to your own stubbornness and inability to follow orders that you were in danger of being consumed by one of the local animals."

"Oh come on", Jim snorted. "You KNOW me. There was just no way I'd stay in the damn pod!"

"This is a regrettable truth", the Vulcan conceded. "However, you survived your run-in with the local fauna as you seem to do everything, so I fail to see why this is still an issue."

"Still an- Spock!", Kirk yelled, clearly exasperated. "I almost died! Don't you care about that at all?!"

"I do", came the almost inaudible reply, and for the first time since they'd entered the room, the Vulcan looked away. Jim immediately felt guilty, knowing how hard it must have been for him to admit even as much as he had, and pushing Spock to reveal any more would get him nowhere.

"I'm sorry", the Captain sighed. "I just... I don't understand what you want me to say, Spock. What do you want from me?"

"I was under the impression that my intentions were obvious", the Commander said with slight surprise.

"It's been a long day", Kirk waved him off. "You'll have to spell it out for me."

"Jim", Spock addressed him with urgency, and suddenly there was a warm hand on his, keeping it in a firm grasp. "I want what I have always wanted." He looked uncertain for a moment, then his eyes got a determined sparkle. "You."

"But...", the blond started, stopping before he could say more, staring at their touching hands. This wasn't really happening, was it? It was simply too good to be true. He couldn't allow himself to raise false hopes again only to have them shattered anew. He needed to be certain. "What about Uhura?"

"Nyota and I have never been, nor ever will be, in a romantic relationship", Spock replied gravely.

"Bullshit", Kirk snorted angrily, tearing his hand away. "I've seen you two together. You don't have to lie to me. I can manage to work with both of you, don't worry. I'm happy if you're happy." And that was almost true.

"Jim", the Commander sighed. "Vulcans are incapable of lying."

"Oh really?", the Captain challenged him. "Then pray tell: what's going on between you and Uhura if you're not dating her?"

"Nyota is a... friend", the Vulcan said slowly. "Subsequent to our breakup, she offered... comfort. She agreed to update me about you and your..."

"Conquests?", Jim offered carefully, and it just figured that Spock knew all about those.

"Among other things", he conceded.

"I saw you kiss her", Kirk reminded him. "Didn't look friendly to me."

"I disagree", Spock said. "You witnessed her kissing me."

"Does that matter?", the Captain snorted.

"It is vital."

"You let her! It didn't look agonizing from where I was standing!", Jim exclaimed angrily. It had been for him, yes, but not for the two officers engaged in a lip-lock.

"Your observational skills are lacking", Spock noticed. "Perhaps it would be wise if you were to wear your glasses more frequently."

"You ruined them", Kirk growled. "And you're not getting out of this one, sneaky Vulcan or not."

"I will admit that I failed to push the Lieutenant away", he replied slowly.

"No shit", the Captain snorted.

"However", Spock raised his voice over the blond's, "that was not due to a desire to engage in such or other, equally intimate, activities with her."

"Oh?", Kirk laughed joylessly. "Why then?"

"It was your reaction that prompted me to allow the gesture, Jim", the Vulcan admitted gravely. "I had thought – perhaps erringly so – that observing me in the arms of another, like I had you, might trigger emotional responses similar to the ones I had experienced."

"You were trying to make me jealous?", the Captain asked baffled. "Well, congratu-fucking-lations, you succeeded! You knew that I loved you, that was unnecessarily cruel."

"I apologize if that is how you feel about the matter", Spock said quietly. "I knew no such thing. You had been treating me with disdain, indifference, and anger ever since the assembly concerning your-"

"Creative thinking", Jim interrupted him quickly.

"Indeed", the Vulcan replied unconvinced. "I had come to the conclusion that you had likely, as you would call it, 'moved on', so I could not resist to seize the opportunity that presented itself when Nyota acted on her feelings, which she knew were unrequited. I apologize if this has hurt you, but I had to be certain prior to boarding Nero's ship."

"You mean before we got killed", Kirk translated, and he wanted to believe it, he did.

The Commander observed him quietly for a second, his face unreadable.

"Yes."

"Spock", Jim sighed tiredly and slowly stood up, walking around the desk. "What does it take to make you understand that I could never – no matter how much of a dick you are – not love you?"

The Vulcan regarded him with a guarded expression, rising from his chair to stand before the human.

"I could not...", he started, but stopped himself breathlessly, looking into Kirk's eyes searchingly. "I apologize. I do not know- does this mean your emotions haven't altered?"

"You know", the Captain shook his head slightly with an affectionate smile, "for a genius you're pretty slow."

With that he leaned forward, closing the remaining distance between them, pressing his lips softly against Spock's. The Vulcan growled deeply, immediately wrapping his arms around Jim's waist, notably tightening his grip when he lifted the human onto the table.

Kirk moaned, allowing the hot tongue to enter his mouth, welcoming the familiar pressure of Spock's body against his chest. The Commander pushed his legs apart with practised ease, stepping between them in a swift motion, causing Jim to pull him closer.

He had one hand on the Vulcan's waist, the other in his hair, and when he broke their kiss breathlessly, he eagerly brought his mouth close to one of the pointed ears.

"You have no idea how much I've been itching to do that", he whispered lowly, carefully licking down the tip, nibbling on the earlobe.

Spock groaned, biting down on Jim's neck lightly, tightening his grip on the Captain's sides.

"Just so we're clear", the blond said suddenly, leaning back slightly, causing his partner to grumble in protest, "If you break my heart again, I will shoot you out an airlock, and I won't promise there'll be a pod involved."

"If you are implying a possible termination of our relationship on my side, I can assure you that in any such event I will ask for directions to that airlock myself", Spock breathed against his neck, close again.

"Glad we understand each other, Commander", Jim grinned and pulled the Vulcan into a heated kiss again.

* * *

"And just what the hell are you so damn happy about?", the doctor asked when Jim settled down beside him with his breakfast in the mess.

"Oh, you know", the blond shrugged, "this and that. I'm a captain now, Bones. That's kind of a big deal."

"Nooo", his friend said slowly, "that's not it. I've watched you swoon over your new shiny ship for weeks after they announced you'd get it. This is different. What are you not telling me?"

"I'm not not-telling you anything", Kirk said pointedly, staring at the cereal on his plate with overt disdain. "This is not what I ordered."

"You're a starship captain now, kid", McCoy sighed. "It's high time you started developing a healthy lifestyle."

"You're putting me on a diet?!", Jim asked in horror. "Bones, I will starve to death if you don't feed me right. And then who's gonna command the ship, huh?"

"Well, I'd say the elf is up for the job", his friend said slowly. "And he has the healthiest eating habits I've ever seen, so the ship should be fine."

"You would betray your beloved captain this easily?", the blond asked in mock pain.

"If he thinks he can keep secrets from the guy who's been the only constant in his life for the last three years, yes", Bones nodded readily. "Seriously, Jim. How stupid do you think I am? I can literally SEE the hickey on your neck. Care to tell me what happened now or after your physical?"

"Urgh, do I really have to have one?", the Captain winced. "I had a complete check-up after the whole Narada incident. Can't you just use that?"

"Why do I get the feeling you don't understand how this works?", the doctor frowned. "And don't try to distract me. This isn't going away. Tell me, or your physical might get a few extensions."

"You can't do that, that's abuse of power", Jim pointed out.

"Why, whatever do you mean, kid?", McCoy asked with his most innocent smile. "I'm just concerned about our Captain's wellbeing. Better safe than sorry, you know."

"Fine, fine", Kirk sighed and tasted his cereal with a grimace as a sign of surrender. "Spare me your medical reasoning. I'll talk."

"You better", Bones replied and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"It was Spock", Jim whispered, making sure no one could overhear them.

"WHAT?!", the doctor stared at him in disbelief, ignorant of the countless pairs of eyes suddenly fixed on them.

"Could you please be a bit louder, I think my yeoman hasn't heard you", the Captain hissed. He shot an authoritative raised eyebrow at everyone in the mess who dared look at them, prompting them to turn their attentions elsewhere again.

"I'm sorry, I thought I heard you say that it was Spock", McCoy apologized with an intent glare. "Which, of course, can't be right, because not even you would be that stupid."

"Bones..."

"How could you?!", his friend whispered urgently. "Did you already forget what happened the last time?"

"No, but-", Jim tried to interrupt him.

"Are you mad?!"

The Captain sighed and leaned back, waiting for his friend to get everything off his chest. Once Bones was finished, he explained what had happened, assuring the doctor that they had cleared up all the misunderstandings and were fine now. McCoy naturally didn't believe him, but promised to be civil during Spock's physical anyway.

"That makes me hitting him all the more awkward", the man sighed unhappily. "Couldn't you guys have figured all this out BEFORE I assaulted a superior officer?"

"Sorry, Bones", Jim chuckled. "I would have preferred that too, believe me, but it's over now. Let's not dwell on the past. I have the feeling the future will be much brighter."

* * *

Note:

So... I have a few ideas for the next chapter. I've been spending my vacation reading old Star Trek novels.

What would you currently like more? A guest appearance of Spock Prime or angst in the form of xenophobia on board the Enterprise? I want to add both, but I'm not sure in what order, so... do tell.


	11. Chapter 11

They did not speak of whatever it was Spock encountered in sickbay that day, but judging by the look on the Vulcan's face, Bones had been his usual charming self. Jim had expected nothing less, so he didn't press his partner for more information. He simply greeted his First Officer with a sympathetic smile and a "Good morning, Mr. Spock", when the man entered the bridge and turned his attention towards the viewscreen once again.

Travelling through space could be tedious, Jim knew that, because usually nothing happened for days on end. The newly promoted Captain dreaded his first star mapping mission with every fibre of his being, but so far they weren't in any danger of being assigned one of those. They were still far too deep in known space for that.

He had just come to terms with the prospect of another uneventful day on the bridge when Uhura's voice caught his attention.

"Captain, Admiral Nogura is sending a top-priority transmission", she informed him with a slight frown indicating her concentration on her earpiece.

"Put him on the viewscreen", Jim replied immediately, not letting his nervousness sound through. Was that it? Were they finally going to take his ship away from him?

"Captain Kirk", the man on the screen greeted him a second later.

"Admiral Nogura", the blond nodded. "I understand this has top priority?"

"Indeed it does", the Admiral answered. "Your orders have changed. You are to return to Earth immediately-"

"But, sir", Jim interrupted him hastily. "We are supposed to travel to Starbase 13 to-"

"Silence, Captain", Nogura demanded, but there was no anger in his voice. "I am well aware of your previous orders, but as I have stated: they have changed. You are required to return to Earth and pick up the remaining Vulcans still residing on the planet to relocate them to their new home."

"Pardon my confusion, Admiral, but I thought the Excelsior was supposed to do that", Kirk frowned. He didn't like the notion of his ship being turned into a shuttle service.

"She did", the man replied easily. "Nevertheless, the Excelsior had to depart weeks ago, and some of the Vulcans were unable to leave the planet at the time. As you are well aware, almost our entire fleet is currently located in other quadrants, and the Enterprise is barely a few hours away from Earth at warp factor 4."

"Sir, with all due respect", Jim started, and he could feel all eyes fixed on him, "I don't think the Enterprise is designed for civilian transportation. Our resources are limited, we could never hold more than a couple of people at a time."

"I am aware of your situation, Captain", Nogura said patiently. "You should expect no more than forty new passengers. The Enterprise should have no problems with that."

"No, of course not, sir", Kirk replied quietly, inwardly flinching. There were so few Vulcans left... Forty of them in one place were statistically speaking almost a lot, but for the Enterprise and her 400 crew members their number seemed almost ridiculously small. Jim instinctively turned towards Spock, not quite sure what he was looking for, but he was unsurprised to find the Commander's eyes fixed on him nevertheless.

The Vulcan raised his eyebrow minutely, regarding the Captain with a curious look. The blond smiled slightly at him before addressing the Admiral again.

"New orders understood, sir", he said in his best command tone. "The Enterprise will be in Earth's orbit in-"

"22.384 hours", Spock provided helpfully. "Provided we travel at warp factor 4 as the Admiral suggested."

"Thank you, Commander", Jim nodded, suppressing an involuntary smile.

"We will be expecting you", the Admiral said. "Nogura out." With that his face disappeared, stars once more taking up the viewscreen.

"Well, you heard him", Kirk yawned. He should have spent more time sleeping last night. "Plot a course for Earth, Mr. Chekov."

"Course set, sir", came the quick reply.

"Thank you. Mr. Sulu, ahead warp factor 4. The Admiral seemed in a bit of a hurry", he mused with a sly grin. "Guess he doesn't quiet know how to handle a bunch of Vulcans taking up his embassy."

* * *

When Jim made his way down the hallway, he was only slightly surprised to find a beagle run out of the transporter room. He stopped in his tracks for a second, wondering whether he ever gave the impression he'd allow anyone to keep a pet on board, when it suddenly hit him that he knew that dog.

"Hey!", he yelled as the stray animal tried to rush past him. "Stop right there!"

The dog didn't listen to him, naturally, but Jim hadn't expected him to anyway. He ran after him, finally managing to corner him inside the turbolift.

"Gotcha", he said breathlessly, picking the beagle up with a weary look. "Engineering", he ordered, keeping a firm grip on the animal in his hands.

When the doors opened, the dog almost managed to escape, but the thought of Scotty cornering him after the little blighter had caused havoc in his holy domain made him hold on even as the beagle struggled for dear life.

"Hold still, you mangy little-", Jim cursed, trying to spot the chief engineer among the crowd of officers that had gathered around him, pretending not to be watching his fight with the dog.

"Mr. Scott!", the Captain yelled over their heads, increasingly desperate to get rid of the beast. Sure enough, the Scotsman came rushing towards him instantly, shooing his subordinates back to their posts as he stood before Kirk.

"Aye, sir?", he said, eyeing the dog in the other man's hands suspiciously. "Where'd ya get that?"

"I would very much like to ask you the same question", Jim grumbled, holding the furry thing in his hands towards the engineer. "Seem familiar?"

"I dinna- wait", Scotty squinted at the dog before crying out in disbelief. "By the devil! 'Tis Admiral Archer's prize beagle!"

"It is", Kirk nodded gloomily. "I can tell by the bite marks it left on my arm."

"How did it- Where did you...", the Scotsman seemed confused for a moment, clearly still in shock. "But that's wonderful! The old bastard will finally get off me back once I beam it-"

"Nooooo", Jim interrupted him hastily. "You will do no such thing. We just received new orders. We're headed back for Earth, so you might as well just deliver the thing in person."

Scotty was silent for a moment.

"Do I have ta?", he eventually asked with a pained expression.

"Yes, Mr. Scott, you do", Kirk said in his Captain-voice. "And now, if you don't mind-" He held out the dog, expecting the engineer to take him, but the man took a few hurried steps backwards before the beagle could so much as touch him.

"You cannae be serious, Captain!", he exclaimed with a look of utter horror. "I cannae have a dog here. Imagine what he'll do to the machines!"

"Mr. Scott", Jim said with forced patience. "If you're suggesting I take the beagle-"

"Sorry, lad", the engineer shrugged half-heartedly. "But I cannae take him."

Kirk was about to argue that the dog was Scotty's responsibility when he realized that the man was right. He couldn't possibly take care of the animal, even if he wanted to. The Scotsman was needed in engineering during the whole alpha shift and appeared sporadically throughout all the others too, whenever he felt like his shiny lady needed a little polishing.

Jim had contemplated telling him to stop interfering with the other shifts, but he'd realized about two hours in that Scotty's hobby increased the ship's efficiency considerably. It had been an impossible task to keep him off the Enterprise when she'd been in repair after the whole Narada incident, and Scotty's input at the time had boosted their emergency speed to warp factor 9, which previously had been considered unattainable.

Maybe taking care of a vicious dog for a day wasn't such a high price to pay.

"Very well, Scotty", he sighed unhappily. "I'll take him. Don't let making random animals appear on the ship a habit though."

"Aye, sir."

* * *

Getting the dog to stay in his room was easy. Achieving the same with Spock was not.

"I will not be forced to endure this creature's presence any longer", the Vulcan eventually snapped when the beagle had attempted to rut his leg for the third time that evening.

"Porthos, stop! Bad boy!", Jim scolded the dog, trying to keep him off his First Officer. "I'm sorry, Spock. He's been keeping me busy all day. I got thrown out of the mess, sickbay, observation deck and the rec room. I don't know what to do with him."

"I would advise you to return the dog to Mr. Scott, were I not aware of your insistence on not doing the logical thing", the Vulcan said.

"You know me too well", Kirk chuckled as he tried to wrestle the beagle away from the chess pieces. They'd already lost a pawn to the energetic animal, and Jim wasn't eager on getting yet another set.

"Enough!", Spock boomed when Porthos tried to swallow a king. "Captain, might I suggest we relocate to my quarters, leaving this", he gestured towards the dog, "behind?"

"Don't you think it's weird to ask me over while you're calling me 'Captain'?", the blond frowned, not disagreeing with the Commander's idea.

"Of course", the Vulcan said as if he'd only just noticed his slip. "I apologize. Jim", he sighed, "please come to my quarters. We can lock the animal in yours until it can be returned to its rightful owner."

"Why, Mr. Spock", Kirk grinned mischievously, "are you asking me to spend the night?"

"I believe that is what I have just said", the Commander replied deadpan.

"How could I resist such an invitation?", the Captain laughed and picked up the board. "And I'm not just saying that because the dog is driving me crazy."

"I have considerable trouble believing that", Spock said, but Jim could see a humorous glint in his eyes.

"You got me", he chuckled. "I really hate that dog. He's as annoying as his owner."

"Admiral Archer is a formidable-", the Vulcan started with an expression of slight shock, but his partner interrupted him with a small grin.

"Yeah, yeah, I know", he laughed. "But you should meet him in person. He took me out for drinks after I got promoted. Wouldn't let me go for three days. They had to send a rescue team to save me from his stories. Gosh, that man can go ON..."

"I see", Spock replied with an elevated eyebrow. "I admit to having seen some of the footage of your so-called... 'bromance'."

"Urgh", Jim groaned unhappily. "Don't remind me! It was all over the news. 'Wonderboy and Starfleet Legend', 'A Bromance made in Heaven'... I couldn't decide what was worse. Enduring Archer and his holos of the stupid dog or constantly being confronted with those headlines."

"You appeared to enjoy your time with the Admiral", the Vulcan informed him slowly. "I have to admit I did not know this wasn't the case."

"Yeah, well", Kirk shrugged, "After all that press coverage we got after the Narada incident, I got good at acting in front of a camera. And to be fair, Jonathan is a great guy. He just really loves that stupid beagle."

"That is a problem?", Spock enquired curiously as he followed the other man into his own quarters through their shared bathroom.

"Well", Jim sighed and set down the chess board on the table, dropping down on a chair himself. "Let's just say there are only so many stories about a beagle one can listen to without slowly going insane."

"I see your point", the Vulcan conceded as he set down two freshly replicated cups of tea, gently brushing the Captain's shoulder as if per accident on his way to his own chair.

"I love-", Kirk blurted out, his brain catching up with him at the very last second. "This", he ended weakly. "It's nice. Just... You and me. Sitting here. Talking. Playing chess. Like..."

Like what? Like old times? Like the breakup never happened? Like this would last forever?

Thankfully, Spock seemed to understand what he meant, even though he wasn't certain of it himself.

"Indeed", the Commander replied softly. "I too find your company enjoyable in this setting."

"I-", Jim started, but found he was at a loss for words. He gently put his hand on Spock's on the table and frowned slightly at it. "I'm not gonna lie", he finally said. "I was really worried you wouldn't come back. When you didn't enlist for the Enterprise before take-off, I was convinced you'd found another position on a different ship. I thought... I thought you wouldn't want to serve with me. I was pretty sure you hated my guts, so it was probably stupid to leave the position unfilled in case of your unrealistic change of heart."

"I was wondering what you had intended to do had I not returned", the Vulcan admitted quietly.

"I don't really know", Kirk chuckled humourlessly. "The Admiralty was constantly breathing down my neck, trying to bully me into making a decision. I must have turned down hundreds of science- and dozens of possible first officers. I'm now familiar with every single Commander in the whole fleet. As it turns out, EVERYONE would love to be assigned to the flagship."

"In that case, I am... grateful you chose me", Spock said lowly, turning his hand so he could grab Jim's, gently drawing circles with his thumb on the cooler human's palm.

"No", the blond shook his head softly and carefully applied pressure to the other's hand. "I'm the one who should be grateful. You're the best first officer in the fleet. Do you have any idea how many captain's have tried to get me to part from you in the last hours? Apparently I'm not the only one who realizes the merits of having a Vulcan as second in command."

"I would not work with them as well as I do with you", Spock pointed out gravely. "I am only able to perform at my current standards because of the captain I serve with."

"I'm glad you do", Jim said honestly, keeping his eyes fixed on the Vulcan's, revelling in the deep brown that threatened to consume him. "I don't think I could ever have done the whole Narada thing without you."

"I find I do not wish you to find out", Spock admitted, leaning forward in a swift motion to capture Kirk's lips with his. The human sighed softly at the touch, bringing a quick hand up to draw the Commander closer, entwining the fingers of their joined hands simultaneously.

Jim allowed himself to enjoy the Vulcan's closeness for a moment before he drew back slowly, without ever moving his hand away.

"Spock", he sighed, trying not to let himself get distracted by the warmth seething from his partner's fingers as they traced his in carefully calculated motions. "I... I never... I never said..."

Damn, this was hard. It wasn't a nice topic, it would almost certainly ruin the mood, but they had to talk about it eventually. It had been eating at Jim for weeks now, and it was slowly killing him whenever he laid eyes on the Commander.

"I'm so sorry", he finally forced out, unable to look at Spock any longer. "Everything... What happened... I- I don't know what to say. Heck, I don't even know where to start."

"Jim-"

"No, wait, let me finish... whatever I'm trying to say here", he quickly interrupted his partner. "I just... I need you to know- I was... Your planet... I- I didn't... I couldn't... Spock", he sighed after realizing there was no easy way to get this off his chest, "_S'ti th'laktra_."

The Vulcan was silent for a moment that threatened to stretch into eternity before he finally opened his mouth, the first movement since Jim's assertion.

"I was unaware you were familiar with that phrase", he said slowly, nothing in his demeanour letting on what he was really feeling in this instant.

"I polished my Vulcan after...", Kirk admitted, letting the last part hang in the air between them unspoken.

"I see."

"Spock", Jim breathed, looking at him intently now. "I... Words cannot possibly convey how much... it hurts to... I'm so sorry. About everything. Your mother-"

The Vulcan tensed visibly, extracting his hand from Kirk's, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Please, you have to believe me", the human pleaded, unsure how to fix this. "I didn't mean what I said on the bridge that day. I KNOW you loved her. And when she- when you... I wanted nothing more than somehow make it all okay again, but I couldn't even talk to you, let alone touch you, and I... I need you to know that whatever you're feeling right now is okay. You can talk to me about this. You don't have to go through this alone."

Spock was silent, seemingly engulfed in analysing the plant standing in the corner. Jim let out a muffled groan, cursing himself internally for ever starting this conversation.

"I'm sorry. I upset you", he noticed sadly. "I just... I thought this would forever be an elephant in the room if I didn't bring it up eventually, and I'd rather have this over with sooner than later."

"There is no elephant in this room, Jim", the Vulcan noticed, finally meeting his eyes again. Kirk smiled softly, knowing this was Spock's version of an olive branch. "As for your other concerns: I am well aware of your motives that day on the bridge, and I never, not then, and most certainly not now, thought your accusations to be true in your eyes."

"I'm glad", Kirk admitted gingerly. "And my offer stands indefinitely. Whenever you feel like talking – you always know where to find me."

That was the truth. Spock had an uncanny talent for locating the Captain that didn't go unnoticed by anyone on the ship.

The Vulcan regarded him in silence for a moment, before turning his attention towards the chess board.

"I believe it was your turn."

Admiral Archer wasn't as grateful about getting his precious dog back as Jim was about getting rid of it. The happiest in all of this, though, was Scotty; he almost cried with relief when the beagle's rightful owner promised never to assign him to Delta Vega again, simultaneously acknowledging the engineer's theory of transwarp beaming, promising a commendation for his discovery.

"I dinna care about the paperwork", Scotty admitted easily. "As long as I never have ta go back there, you can make me share a room with a Klingon."

The Admiral laughed, Jim patted his Chief Engineer sympathetically on the back, having experienced the horrors of Delta Vega himself, and Spock raised an eyebrow. The Vulcan did his best to look detached, but Kirk instantly noticed the little sigh of relief when the Admiral and his dog beamed off the Enterprise.

"Porthos is quiet something, isn't he?", he smirked knowingly, sharing Spock's justified feelings about the matter.

"Indeed he is, Captain", the Vulcan admitted, watching a new group of people appear on the transporter pads.

Jim's breathing stopped for a second when he laid eyes on one of the newcomers. It couldn't be. Could it?

"Ambassador?", he asked uncertainly, taking a step towards the Vulcan in question.

"Captain", the man replied, smiling openly at him to the obvious disdain of the other members of his group.

"I didn't know you were still here!", Kirk exclaimed surprised. "Last I heard you had located a suitable planet for re-establishing your culture. I had assumed you would be the first one to go there!"

"There were many things to be taken care of before I could leave Earth, Jim", the Ambassador explained. Spock flinched almost openly at the personal tone his counterpart was using with the Captain, clearly unhappy with the current situation.

Kirk realized that the transporter room probably wasn't the best place for a reunion anyway and assigned a couple of waiting ensigns to show their guests to their rooms, taking over the task of escorting Elder Spock to his himself.

"I trust you'll be all right greeting the other Vulcans without me?", he asked his Commander with a tone that suggested that this could be his way out of Jim marching off with his counterpart if he wanted it to be.

"Affirmative, Captain", came the instant reply, and Kirk smiled softly. Trust Spock not to let on something bugs him.

"All right then", he said gleefully, showing the Ambassador out the door. "How have you been?"

"Busy", the Vulcan answered deadpan, and his companion laughed openly at that.

"Oh man, I will never get over you being so... you know", he gestured wildly, "Open. I can't even picture Spock admitting to something like that, let alone make an obvious joke."

"It will come", the Ambassador said mysteriously. "In time. As a matter of fact, he has grown a lot faster than I have. Unsurprising, considering he has met you years earlier than I had the pleasure to."

"Stop it, I'm blushing", Kirk said half-jokingly, definitely feeling heat rising in his cheeks. "Here", he said, pointing towards a door. "That's your room. Make yourself at home and all that. You'll be with us for quiet some time, after all."

"Thank you, Jim", Elder Spock replied slowly. "I will. I am aware the next few hours will be exceedingly busy for you, but would you care to have dinner with me tonight? There are many things I wish to discuss with you."

"Sure thing", the Captain agreed quickly. "Once everyone's on board, and we've left orbit, I'm all yours."

"A curious idiom", the Ambassador noticed, tilting his head slightly to the side. "He used to say it a lot too."

"I thought you weren't gonna tell me anything about the other me!", Jim scolded him in good humour.

"You are, of course, correct. My apologies", Elder Spock smiled. "I shall retire now before I reveal any more."

"You do that. I have a ship to run", Kirk chuckled and winked at the Vulcan before making his way to the bridge.

Being in Elder Spock's company was always fun. It was like being with an old friend, a brother even, and Jim had spent far too little time with the Vulcan during their stay on Earth when the Enterprise had been in repair.

He was still grinning when he entered the bridge, prompting all eyes to focus on him, clearly confused as to why their captain suddenly decided this mission wasn't so bad after all.

"Okay, kids, you may resume your work now", he scolded them playfully, settling into his chair. "Mr. Spock", he addressed the Vulcan instantly appearing by his side, "Is everyone on board?"

"Affirmative", he replied with a slight nod. "We may commence to leave orbit."

"Great", Jim smiled brightly and turned towards the navigational controls. "Mr. Chekov, plot a course for... Vulcan II?" He threw Spock an uncertain look, an open question in his eyes.

"This name will suffice", the Commander explained. "You could not pronounce the Vulcan term."

"Why, thank you, Mr. Spock", Kirk said in mock-hurt. "Mr. Chekov?"

"Course laid in, sir", the kid replied cheerfully.

"Mr. Sulu", the Captain addressed the man at the helm, "Ahead warp factor 1."

"Aye, sir", the pilot said quickly. "Warp factor 1."

"You won't be needing me in the next hours, will you?", Jim asked in a tone that suggested they better not. "I have to welcome the Vulcan ambassadors and discuss our orders with them."

There was an almost inaudible wave of chuckling to be heard throughout the bridge.

"Yeah, that's right", Kirk snorted, well aware of his crew's impression of his dislike for conferences. "Laugh at your captain. Go on. No desserts for you tonight!" He stood up swiftly and walked towards the turbolift, aware of everyone's undivided attention. "Mr. Spock, if you please."

It was a good thing Jim was already intimately familiar with Vulcans, otherwise the conference would have driven him crazy. The only glimmer of light was Elder Spock, who seemed vastly amused by the sticks up his colleagues' asses. At least someone was having a good time.

"Captain Kirk", one of the ambassadors sighed heavily. "We recognize and appreciate your past efforts for our race, but your current behaviour is unacceptable."

"Why, whatever do you mean?", Jim forced himself to smile, eyes fixed on the two friendly faces in the room rather than on the tall Vulcan complaining to him right now.

"Is everything a joke to you, Captain?", he asked, almost openly angry now.

"No", the blond assured him quickly. "Only funny things are."

"You are a disgrace to-"

"Ambassador Sonak", Elder Spock interrupted the fuming Vulcan patiently. "Do not mistake Captain Kirk's orders for indifference on his side. If he has been told to arrive at the planet in a week, then that is exactly what we shall do. Arguing about this with him is pointless."

"I too agree, you would be best advised to forward your concerns to Starfleet Command rather than our Captain", the First Officer threw in with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "You should cease your abuse if you wish for the continuation of your treatment as guests."

Sonak was about to reply something that Jim was convinced would be nasty, so he interrupted him swiftly.

"Gentlemen, please, there is no need for animosities", he assured them with a small smile. He knew better than to expect anything less from Vulcans. Deep down, they were secretly a bunch of unappreciated drama queens, and Kirk suddenly understood why Admiral Nogura couldn't wait to get rid of them. Good thing Jim was already trained in the right treatment of the members of this race. "I'm sure Ambassador Sonak didn't mean to imply our schedule was due to a personal wish of mine for keeping him on board any longer than strictly necessary."

Elder Spock almost laughed openly at that, and even his younger counterpart couldn't help but smile with his eyes at Kirk's implication.

"I'm sorry it will take that long", the Captain continued, pretending neither to have noticed nor intended the jab at his opponent. "But we are trying to preserve resources here, and getting to Vulcan II isn't exactly a priority in Starfleet Command's eyes. It's my job to make you feel- sorry, I meant: I'm here to make your stay on board the Enterprise as pleasant as possible, for as long as necessary. Ambassador", he turned towards Sonak and looked at him intently, "if you have any complaints, I suggest you take Mr. Spock's advice and direct them towards Starfleet Command. I assure you, I will be more than happy to adjust to any new orders I might receive."

There was a long moment of silence in which every single Vulcan in the room openly stared at Jim. He sighed and stood up, leaning on the table with a daring look in his eyes.

"Now, I have a ship to run. So unless anyone here has something constructive to say, this meeting is over."

Since no one tried to make a move, the Captain quickly rushed out of the room, listening to the doors swoosh shut with grim satisfaction.

Vulcans, he thought with a slight shake of his head and headed for the bridge.

They hadn't specified a time, but Jim couldn't wait any longer, so he showed up at Elder Spock's quarters sooner than he'd intended, standing in front of the door awkwardly for a moment, contemplating whether he should return at a later time, when he heard an amused voice addressing him from the inside.

"If it isn't too much trouble, I'd like to ask you to make up your mind", the Vulcan said gleefully. "'The suspense is killing me', as you would say."

Kirk laughed at that, entering the room without a second thought.

"How did you know I was here?", he asked with a smile and dropped down on one of the chairs.

"Call it intuition", Elder Spock shrugged with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "You two are more alike than you would think."

"Well, I wouldn't know about that", Jim pouted. "You refuse to tell me anything after all."

"I consider it best for you to find your own place in the universe", the Vulcan admitted. "I do not wish to make you feel like you are expected to follow in his steps. You alone determine your destiny. You are not required to evolve into the same person he was."

"And yet you keep telling me how very much alike we are", Kirk pointed out, kind of seeing his point. "It hardly seems fair that you get to know everything about us, but won't spill anything about your life."

"Jim", his companion sighed with a slight shake of his head. "You do not know what you are asking. It is best you never find out. However..."

"Yes?", Kirk asked eagerly, noticing uncharacteristic uncertainty rising in the Vulcan.

"This may be out of line", he admitted carefully. "And I fully understand if this is too personal a question, but if I may- Your relationship with your Spock. Am I correct in assuming...?"

"Why?", the Captain replied suspiciously. "What was your relationship with your Jim?"

Neither of them moved for few moments, regarding each other with intense curiosity, and Kirk realized that they were both gambling. That was all he needed to know.

He had suspected something like that when he first encountered the Vulcan on Delta Vega, during the mind meld. However, he never actually came around to asking him directly, and the uncertainty had been bugging him for weeks, but Spock's hesitation was a sure telltale sign that his assumptions had been correct.

"Oh my god, how could you not tell me that?", the Captain burst out eventually, when the other continued to look like he had no intention of making the first move. "Do you have any idea how much you could have helped me in the last weeks? If I had known you could-"

"Jim", the Ambassador interrupted him quickly. "Prior to my boarding this ship, I was completely unaware of the nature of your relationship with your second in command. I could not have said anything regarding the matter without the risk of giving away information that would not help, but rather prevent you from developing into your current state."

"But- You, your Jim... You HAD to have known", he accused him weakly.

"I assumed", Elder Spock admitted. "However, I did not think it was my place to interfere with the natural course of events."

"Why do you always have to be so damn... ethical?", Kirk whined. "You could have helped me get rid of that iron stick up Spock's ass."

"He is but young", the Vulcan's counterpart told him softly. "Have patience, Jim. There are many things he has yet to learn."

"You mean you weren't always this... relaxed?", the Captain enquired cautiously, having a hard time imagining his partner ever evolving into the man sitting before him now.

"I assure you", Elder Spock said with an audible chuckle, "If there was one thing I was not, it was relaxed."

"I don't understand", the blond admitted with justified confusion. "How did you get like this then?"

"Years of exposure to the illogicality of an old friend", he replied vaguely, a well-known smile on his lips.

"I'm sorry, but I'm having a really hard time here believing I could ever get Spock to loosen up like that", Kirk snorted.

"But you already did, Jim", the Ambassador said surprised. "Have you not noticed?"

"Can't say I have, no", the blond admitted unhappily.

"Fascinating", Elder Spock murmured. "Perhaps I have misjudged then. I apologize. I have already said too much. I think it would be best were we to have dinner now."

"You're terrible at deflecting, old man", Kirk smiled. "Don't think I'm letting you off the hook this easily. You're just lucky Bones has put me on a diet and I'm currently starving."


	12. This Side of Paradise

Jim should have recognized the calm before the storm for what it was, but he'd been too busy enjoying his time with Elder Spock and pranking Ambassador Sonak. Yes, it was childish, sure, but DAMN that Vulcan was uptight. He seriously needed to relax, and Kirk was just the guy to help him with that.

Both Spocks turned a blind eye on his endeavours, secretly revelling in seeing the Ambassador all worked up over his mixed up lunch order in front of the whole alpha shift crew.

"Captain Kirk!" Sonak growled as he approached their table.

"Yes, darling?" the blond replied unimpressed, looking up from his lively conversation with both versions of his Spock and the doctor.

The Vulcan was positively fuming at that, and his face took on a particularly green colour.

"What is the meaning of this?" he forced out, gesturing towards the salad on his tray.

Jim stared at it for a second, contemplating his answer.

"The meaning of life, the universe and everything?" he inquired helplessly, pretending not to know just why he was dealing with a very unhappy Vulcan right now.

"CAPTAIN KIRK!"

"Geez, relax, sweetheart," Kirk chuckled and put his hands up in surrender. Bones simultaneously went as stealthily as possible for a hypospray, which he'd hidden in his pocket in advance when he'd realized what his friend had been planning. He was still hoping he wouldn't have to use it, but right now it didn't look like his wish would find fulfilment.

The Captain gestured lazily towards their trays on the table.

"There's something wrong with the replicator," he explained. "If you want a meat-free selection, you should try the steaks."

As if on cue, both Spocks took a hearty bite from theirs. Ambassador Sonak looked positively scandalized.

"This is no way to behave for a Vulcan!" he shrieked. "You're a disgrace! Both of you! This is outrageous!"

With that he stormed off, leaving everyone in the mess behind open-mouthed at his outburst. Bones let go of the hypo with a sigh of relief.

"I don't know what his problem is," Jim said while chewing on his meal. "My salad tastes just fine."

"That's because it's actually chicken, as you well know," the doctor pointed out. "And don't think for one second that you'll fool me into believing you're sticking to your diet like this."

"I don't know who did this," Kirk grinned, "but whoever it was must have been a genius, if I do say so myself."

"Oh, shut up, we all know it was you," McCoy grumbled.

"Indeed, Jim, your involvement is most obvious," Elder Spock noted with visible amusement.

"The Ambassador is correct," his counterpart agreed. "You did little to hide your trails."

"Perhaps," the blond smiled vaguely. "Let me have a bit of fun, guys. Sonak will drive me crazy if I don't make him mad at me every once in a while. He needs some sort of acceptable emotional release, and I'm afraid he'll snap at someone else if I don't annoy the living daylights out of him."

"You do not know the dangers of angering a Vulcan," his partner told him almost exasperatedly.

"Oh, believe me, I do," Kirk snorted, vividly remembering Spock's outburst on the bridge when he'd tried to get him to show emotions. "But I think you're forgetting something."

"By all means, Captain, enlighten us."

"I got you guys to keep him off me," Jim said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

His friends exchanged meaningful looks in silence for a moment.

"Stop that!" the blond frowned. "Don't think I don't know you have some kind of weird... Musketeer-thing going on here. I'm not a baby, I can take care of myself."

"Don't know what you're talking about, kid," Bones said innocently, looking for all the world like he had never met either Vulcan at this table before.

"Oh really?" Jim snorted. "So you WEREN'T secretly holding a hypo, ready to take him out as soon as he tried any funny business?"

"I-"

"And you," the blond continued, not waiting for an excuse, fixing the Ambassador with his eyes now, "You were already calculating the time and angle necessary to nerve-pinch him, weren't you?"

The accused Vulcan looked mildly surprised, but didn't try to deny it, other than Bones, who was still sputtering something about 'never abusing his power like that'.

"At least you weren't gonna strangle him," Jim addressed Elder Spock, but he was looking at the younger version as he was saying it.

"You have no prove to uphold this accusation," the Commander told him bluntly, not denying anything either.

"Eat your steak, Spock," the blond sighed, standing up to greet the Vulcans which had just arrived in the mess.

They took the replicator-malfunction with infinitely more grace and dignity than Sonak had, simply following Jim's advice to order meat, which would assuredly be vegetarian in everything other than looks.

The Captain thought he noticed some of them actually smiling with their eyes as they suspiciously poked at their food, cheerfully discussing what kind of failure in the program could cause such strange behaviour.

Jim could have told them, but where would have been the fun in that?

He returned to his own seat with a big grin on his face, which grew even wider as he observed Bones arguing with his two favourite Vulcans.

"You cannot be serious!" he exclaimed annoyed just as Kirk rejoined them. When the doctor noticed him, he stood up quickly, gesturing wildly at the Spocks. "What did I do to deserve two of those? Wasn't one enough? Did we really need two? The goddamn universe is mocking me!"

He stormed off, leaving a mildly confused Captain and two blank-faced Vulcans behind.

"What was that about?" Kirk asked eventually, when it became clear neither Spock would speak up willingly.

"Doctor McCoy remains essentially the same in this reality," the Ambassador noticed with almost invisible affection in his eyes.

"Indeed?" his counterpart asked curiously. "Would you describe him as more emotional or less so than yours?"

"I could not say," Elder Spock mused with a slight smile. "They are very much alike."

#

When Starfleet issued orders to examine the planet Omicron Ceti III because it was under bombardment of deadly berthold rays, Jim only yawned, agreed, and sent down a scientific team to take readings.

He almost fell out of his chair when Spock told him the colonists were still alive.

"Repeat that."

"Captain, all the colonists are still alive," the Commander complied dutifully. "More than that. Doctor McCoy has confirmed that they are all in perfect health, even though they should, by all accounts, be dead."

"I'm beaming down. Kirk out."

Jim rushed to the transporter room, ignoring a very displeased looking Sonak, who had made it a hobby to ambush him whenever possible, and joined the scientific team on the planet's surface.

He would not have believed it had he not seen it with his own eyes.

A girl! Flirting with his boyfriend!

"Excuse me," he alerted them to his presence. Spock looked up in something akin to relief, quickly taking his usual spot at his side. "You are?"

"Leila Kalomi," the woman introduced herself, dreamily looking at the Vulcan.

"Miss Kalomi," Jim said with force, trying to get her attention. It didn't work. "Would you be so kind to explain why-"

"Captain!" Bones interrupted him breathlessly, holding up a tricorder as if it was possessed by the devil himself as he came running towards them. "I cannot explain it. It's goddamn impossible! And yet here they are, perfectly healthy, as if they'd just had a sip out of the youth fountain."

"What? How is that-" he started, stopping himself at McCoy's raised eyebrow. "All right, forget it. Get me some answers, Bones. I need to know what happened here."

"I'm on it, believe me," his friend frowned, checking his readings again. "It just doesn't add up."

He murmured to himself all the way back into the building, his eyes never leaving the tricorder in his hands.

Jim didn't feel right, there was a strange sensation ringing like warning bells in his head, and he couldn't shake it off. He turned towards Leila, who was still gazing at his First Officer.

"Miss Kalomi," he sighed, already regretting his next words. "Where do I find your leader?"

She directed him towards the house his CMO had just disappeared into, and Kirk looked at it uncomfortably.

"Okay, well," he said, trying to convince everyone, including himself, that he was okay with his next orders. "Mr. Spock, I'm gonna go talk to Mr. Sandoval. Maybe he's got some answers. You..." He stopped for a second, biting his lip uncertainly. "You continue taking your readings, maybe you'll find something that gives us a clue to whatever happened here."

The Commander nodded in compliance, his face carefully blank, and he hurried off as fast as vulcanly possible, Leila Kalomi always a step behind.

Perhaps Jim had made a mistake after all.

He only realized just how bad this decision had been when he tried to reach Spock's communicator, and the Vulcan did not only answer with enormous delay, he also basically told his Captain to shove it and hung up.

Kirk exchanged a scandalized look with his best friend, and they ran off in silent agreement to find the rogue Commander.

They found him, but the Captain almost wished they hadn't when his eyes focused on a dishevelled form hanging from a tree.

"Spock?" he asked carefully, approaching the figure like a wild animal. Bones looked too stunned to move beside him, openly gaping at what his eyes saw but his brain couldn't comprehend.

"Jim!" the Vulcan laughed, waving at him from the tree.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the blond hissed, glaring at Leila who was observing them with an eerily relaxed smile.

"I'm climbing!" Spock explained, chuckling as if Jim was the daftest person in the universe.

"Oh, I can see that," the Captain frowned and came to a halt just beneath the tree his First Officer was dangling from. "I just refuse to believe it."

"It's fun, you should try it too!" The Vulcan tried to grab his hand, but Jim was faster. He evaded skilfully, glaring daggers at his partner.

"Spock, you had orders. What the fuck is wrong with you?" he asked angrily, but concern was lacing his voice. This wasn't like him. The crazy Vulcan would rather chop his own arm off than disregard orders.

"I assure you, I am perfectly all right," the Commander smiled, and SHIT, that was a creepy sight to behold. Jim had seen him raise the corners of his mouth before, and an amused sparkle in his eyes every now and then, but never had Spock ever actually SMILED in his presence. That would take some getting used to.

He violently shook his head. No, dammit, he wouldn't have to get used to it. Spock wouldn't stay like that, and he'd get his boyfriend back.

"Come down," the blond ordered, then, softer, "please."

"Of course," the Commander agreed, suddenly dropping like a stone from the tree.

Jim's training kicked in, and he caught Spock before his brain had even processed he'd fallen in the first place. They both went down immediately; Vulcans were apparently considerably heavier than they looked, but his partner didn't seem too concerned about that. He simply hugged Kirk tightly to his chest, nuzzling his neck with something that sounded suspiciously like a purr.

What the fuck was going on?

"Spock?" the blond asked carefully, trying to shift beneath the weight holding him to the ground.

"Hm?" the Vulcan made in response, licking his way along Jim's neck.

"WHAT are you doing?" he asked helplessly, acutely aware of Leila's murderous glare and McCoy's pained expression.

"What do I appear to be doing?"

"Are you getting sassy with me?" Kirk frowned. "I'm still your commanding officer, Mister, and I demand you explain yourself at once. What is going on here?"

Spock sighed, actually sighed, audibly and visibly, and stood up.

"I will show you," he said, extending a hand to help the Captain up from the ground. "You will soon understand."

Jim did _not_ understand. All his little run-in with the plants achieved was that his CMO was acting batshit crazy too now. Marvellous.

He ordered both his officers to beam up to the ship, fully aware that neither of them would actually listen to him, but unable to deal with that problem right now. He had other things to worry about.

He realized something was really really wrong when Cupcake tried to hug him in the transporter room.

"WHAT are you doing?" he asked, shocked to his core by the action. Sure, he and Giotto had made their peace with each other weeks ago, but they were still nowhere near friendly terms.

"I'm giving you a hug," his security chief told him bluntly, not easing his grip.

"I can see that," Jim sighed. "Would you please let go now? I have places to be."

Giotto only grunted at that, tightening his arms around Kirk's body. He dropped limblessly to the floor a second later, Elder Spock looming over him with an outstretched hand.

"Are you uninjured?" he inquired, quickly assessing the Captain with his eyes.

"I'm fine," Kirk assured him quickly. "Thanks for the rescue. At least there's someone who hasn't gone completely nuts around here."

"Indeed," the Vulcan replied uncomfortably. "Jim, I must be honest with you. It has already spread throughout the ship. In approximately 4.294 minutes, everyone on board will be affected."

"What?! How?" the Captain frowned, trying to come up with an emergency plan.

"The plants you encountered have a most... unfortunate effect on sentient beings," the Ambassador explained sadly. "I advise you to initiate an emergency lock-down, preventing anyone from leaving the ship."

"Wha- Sure. Computer," he knew better than to argue with the man. The guy clearly knew something he wasn't telling Kirk, and he was about to find out what it was. "Initiate emergency lock-down. No one is to leave the ship. I repeat: NO ONE. Captain's orders. No override."

He turned towards Elder Spock.

"Spill it."

#

He thought he'd seen the worst when he caught Scotty and Uhura making out in a hallway, but it was when Sonak jumped him out of nowhere that he was ready to resign his command for good.

The Vulcan had a fierce grip on his hands, and he seemed very intent on penetrating Jim's mouth with his tongue; something he would have succeeded with, had Elder Spock not nerve-pinched him into oblivion.

The Captain only had about a second to recover before another pair of hot lips was pressing against his, but this time it felt better, almost right, as if it belonged there. It took him a moment to realize that something was off, that this wasn't how it usually was, that this tongue was softer, more tender, careful even, whereas Spock's was demanding and rough at the best of times.

He wrestled his way out of the Vulcan's grasp, staring at him in open shock, his brain refusing to process recent events.

"What the hell...?" he murmured breathlessly, putting a shaky hand into his hair, looking at everything but the guy in front of him.

"Jim," the raspy voice whispered, and he was getting close again, too close, he couldn't think, couldn't think of a reason not to succumb to this marvellous creature, and it was WRONG.

Everything inside of Kirk screamed NO! at once, and he was finally able to take a step back, assess the situation, and run as fast as his legs would take him.

So Elder Spock was out of the game too.

After evading the sexual advances of two Vulcan females, his yeoman and three junior officers he'd never seen before, he couldn't take it anymore and barricaded himself in a conference room. He tried not to panic, but right now he was doing a really bad job of it.

It was all getting too much.

Every single person on the ship had been infected by now, no one could help him with this, he was alone.

And he had no idea what to do next.

Sure, Elder Spock had told him about getting everyone angry to get the spores out of their systems, but how was he supposed to do that?

He groaned and let his head rest on the cool table for a moment. This was all completely fucked up.

He didn't see the plant aiming at him, he only felt a sudden peace and tranquillity overcome him.

What was he so concerned about? They were all fine. There was a beautiful planet down there, and why had he locked them all up here anyway? They should be on the surface, enjoying themselves!

He told the computer to end the quarantine with a smile, leaving the room in favour of the bridge, waving at everyone he passed on his way there.

"What are you doing?" Jim asked cheerfully as the turbolift doors opened, revealing a couple of dazed members of his crew. "Get out of here. There's a planet waiting to be explored!"

"Aye, sir," Sulu smiled, walking past him slowly, followed by his colleagues.

"Wait," Kirk stopped them, frowning at the station behind his chair. "What happened there?"

The helmsman inspected the ripped open console and the wires dangling out of it for a second.

"Uhura rigged it so that Starfleet couldn't bother us anymore," he explained cheerfully, entering the turbolift, and he left with the others before Jim could ask him what the fuck that was supposed to mean.

"She... she damaged my ship?" he murmured incredulously, staring at the communications station in horror. "MY ship?" He hurried towards the broken part of the Enterprise, kneeling down to carefully caress the bare wires, staring at him like an open wound.

He felt the anger rise in him, causing him to jump up and kick the chair beside him with an outraged cry.

"NO ONE lays hands on my ship!" he growled, seething anger taking over his whole being for a moment before he realized what was going on.

"Shit," he mumbled and quickly threw the plants scattered around the bridge into a corner, all the while holding his breath. Then he took out his communicator, frantically trying to reach Spock.

The Vulcan answered lazily, and there was distant giggling to be heard from someone close by, and then there were voices, and SHIT, was that BONES laughing with SPOCK?

"Jim," the Commander acknowledged. "Do you see yet?"

"Wha-" Kirk started, confused, before he stopped himself with sudden clarity. "Yes. Yes, Spock, I do. I belong now. I just... I need you to come up here for a moment. Can you do that? For me?"

"Certainly. What do you need me for?"

"I... Is that Leila?" the Captain asked suddenly, recognizing the other voice in the background with a painful pang of jealousy.

"Indeed. Do you wish her to come aboard too?" the Commander asked easily, and Jim could practically HEAR the smile in his voice.

"GOD no," he snorted angrily. "I mean... That won't be necessary. Just... Just you. Get up here, Spock. I'm waiting."

#

Someone beamed up a few minutes later, but it wasn't Spock.

"Bones?" Jim stared at the man appearing on the transporter pad. "What are you doing here? Where's Spock?"

"Don't talk to me about that pointy-eared bastard," the doctor grumbled, and his friend was glad to realize he was back to normal again.

"What happened?" Kirk asked impatiently, watching McCoy fiddle with his tricorder.

"Honestly?" Bones said, finally looking up. "Haven't got a clue, Jim. It happened rather suddenly."

"What are you talking about?" the Captain pressed suspiciously. "Where's Spock?"

"Rubbing his jaw somewhere, I'd imagine," the doctor snorted, evading the other's eyes.

"Bones."

"Don't 'Bones' me," he said defensively. "You needed help. What can I do for you?"

"Help me get Spock up here," Kirk told him bluntly. "No offence, but what I need is someone who's good with computers, and as you like to point out, you're a doctor, not an engineer."

"You might not wanna see the hobgoblin right now, Jim," his friend said uncomfortably.

"Why? What happened?"

"I- No." McCoy shook his head quickly. "No, forget it. I'm not telling you. The elf should talk to you himself. If you wanna beam him up, fine. I'll help ya. But don't expect roses."

"That's all I'm asking for now," the blond agreed, eyeing his friend suspiciously. He didn't have time for it now, but he'd grill him later for more information than his ominous blabbering.

Between the two of them, they managed to coax the Vulcan into beaming up, and Jim immediately noticed what McCoy's comment about the jaw had meant.

Spock was sporting a lively green on the left side of his face, and the Captain slowly turned towards his CMO with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that," he said defensively. "He goddamn deserved it."

Kirk let it pass for now, focusing all of his attention at Spock.

"So what did he do?" he asked with a malicious smile. "Punch the big bad Vulcan?" He took a threatening step towards his Commander, who looked at him in mild confusion. "Didn't think anything could penetrate that thick hide of yours."

"Actually, the doctor has already proven on one previous occasion that he was indeed capable of causing me physical harm," Spock pointed out like he had just made a comment about the weather.

"Yeah, well, perhaps you frequently deserve it, jackass," McCoy replied furiously. "Why don't you tell Jim WHY I punched you, huh? Bet he'd love to hear THAT."

"What are you talking about?" the blond asked, confused now. This wasn't going according to plan. He had meant to anger Spock until the spores had released their grip on him, so he could help him save the rest of the ship, but the Vulcan seemed like the epitome of calm. A faintly guilty epitome.

"He kissed her, Jim," the doctor said bluntly, rubbing his sore knuckles.

"WHAT?!"

"That is incorrect," Spock told them calmly. "She kissed me."

"You let her!"

"WHAT?!"

"You were most adamant on separating us, doctor," the Vulcan pointed out. "I did not have the opportunity to step away from her."

"You WHAT?!" Jim stared at him open-mouthed for a second before he threw himself blindly at his First Officer. The time for subtleties was over. He had intended to make Spock angry, not the other way around, but this would have to suffice.

He managed to deliver a semi-hard blow to his already bruised jaw before the Vulcan struggled against his grip and threw him off like a doll.

"Jim, please, be reasonable."

"You son of a... really nice woman," Kirk cursed, wiping off blood from the corner of his mouth. He'd hit the console harder than he'd expected. "You cheated on me?! Fuck you!" He lunched out again, trying to get a hold of the quickly evading Vulcan. "You know what? It's fine!" He kicked his feet, managing to disrupt Spock's balance. "I made out with Sonak."

"You WHAT?!" Bones asked, horrified, hurriedly jumping away when the other two were moving in his general direction.

"That's right. SONAK," Jim spat maliciously. "That was nothing compared to Spock though."

"Okay," the doctor frowned. "I'm confused now."

"Not him," he gestured towards the Vulcan in the corner. "The OTHER Spock."

What followed was a furious cry, and the Commander threw himself against Jim with all his power. They both toppled to the floor, jumping away from each other as quickly as possible. Kirk evaded something that would have been a nasty blow to his head, and focused on not getting killed by the unleashed fury of a Vulcan until his opponent came to his senses again.

It took longer than expected and ended with him getting strangled once again, on the floor this time. Bones already had a hypo ready to take Spock out when the Commander jumped off him with a pained hiss, pressing himself against the wall as if he intended to become one with it.

"Spock?" Jim croaked, painfully aware of the marks on his neck and his broken voice. "Are you okay?"

"I am functional," came the bland reply. "You may confine me to the brig now, Captain."

"And why would I do that?" Kirk asked, breathing heavily, accepting his friend's help when he tried to stand up.

"I physically assaulted a commanding officer," the Vulcan pointed out patiently. "That is a court-martial offence."

"Yeah, well," Jim winced when a painful cough escaped his lips, "So did Bones. And don't forget I started it. I'd say we just forget any of this ever happened and focus on saving the ship."

"I cannot."

"Spock," he sighed and dropped down beside the Vulcan, leaning tiredly against the wall. "If all three of us are in the brig, who's gonna come up with a device to snap everyone out of it?"

His First Officer stared blankly at the floor for a moment before he finally nodded in resignation.

"Very well."

#

It was a good thing Spock was a genius, otherwise they'd still be orbiting Omicron Ceti III. It had taken them less than an hour to install the device, and shortly after that everyone had ruefully reported back to the ship, willing to face a court martial for mutiny, which, of course, got cancelled, because Jim could hardly lock up HIS WHOLE DAMN CREW, as he told them.

All in all, everyone had left the planet physically undamaged, but mentally scarred for life, as Bones liked to put it. Kirk wholeheartedly agreed with him, the pictures of Cupcake hugging and Sonak kissing him still vividly alive in his mind.

And there was one other thing he had to take care of before he could face the big 'discussion' with his partner scheduled for this evening.

He had just raised his hand to knock when he heard a voice behind that door that did not belong to the room's occupant, singing happy birthday. Curious, he entered without announcing his presence, knowing it was wrong, but unable to stop himself nevertheless. He hovered near the exit, staring at the scene before him in silent wonder.

Elder Spock was kneeling on the floor, a holo-emitter almost reverently placed in his hand, observing the man smiling at him from it in silence.

Jim's breath stocked for a moment when he recognized the captain beaming at him from the recording.

"_-I know, it's illogical to celebrate something you had nothing to do with, but I haven't had the chance to congratulate you on your appointment to the ambassadorship so I thought I'd seize the occasion… Bravo, Spock — they tell me your first mission may take you away for a while, so I'll be the first to wish you luck… and to say…_" The man stopped for a second, suddenly looking extremely vulnerable.

"_I miss you, old friend._ _I suppose I'd always imagined us… outgrowing Starfleet together. Watching life swing us into our Emeritus years…" _He sighed, suddenly looking incredibly tired._ "I look around at the new cadets now and can't help thinking… has it really been so long? Wasn't it only yesterday we stepped onto the Enterprise as boys? That I had to prove to the crew I deserved command… and their respect?" _He laughed affectionately.

"_I know what you'd say — 'It's their turn now, Jim…' And of course you're right… but it got me thinking: Who's to say we can't go one more round?" _At that his eyes got a mischievous sparkle that was clearly visible, even through the recording.

"_By the last tally, only twenty five percent of the galaxy's been chartered… I'd call that negligent. Criminal even — an invitation." _He suddenly looked serious again.

"_You once said being a starship captain was my first, best destiny… if that's true, then yours is to be by my side. If there's any true logic to the universe… we'll end up on that bridge again someday."_

He stopped for a moment, grinning brightly.

"_Admit it, Spock. For people like us, the journey itself… is home."_

Jim released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, prompting the Ambassador to shut the holo and put the pendant around his neck once again.

"I- I don't know what to say," the Captain admitted weakly, watching the Vulcan slowly moving to stand before him.

"Perhaps it is best you refrain from saying anything," he advised almost inaudibly. "Jim... I must apologize. I do not know..."

"No, stop," the blond interrupted him quickly, taking a step towards him. "I don't... I CAN'T imagine what it must possibly be like to be..." He broke off, a tiny smile playing around his lips at his next words. "He loved you very much. I can tell. I'd never sing for anyone if I didn't. Especially not on a recording that could be held against me."

"I did not have the opportunity to do so," Spock told him gravely, but he appeared to relax a bit.

"So... Was that-" He trailed off, unsure how far he could go without hurting the other. "Was that his last..."

"Yes."

Jim looked up, startled at the bluntness.

"It sounds great," he said slowly. "Galloping around the universe. Just the two of us..."

"It was a dream of his," the Ambassador admitted with a distinct moistness in his eyes. "Being stationed on Earth never made him happy. Even at his age he was unwilling to... 'settle down', I believe you would call it."

"Sounds familiar," Jim said softly, closing the gap between them, gingerly putting his arms around the shaking Vulcan. Spock stiffened, but remained where he was. "It's okay. I understand. It's just you and me. You can let it all out. I don't mind."

The Ambassador chuckled inaudibly, but the shaking of his slim body gave him away.

"You are so very much alike."

"Well, it would be quite outrageous if the universe would provide us with two Spocks and only one Jim Kirk, don't you agree?" He smiled softly, tightening his grip on the figure in his arms.

"Quite logical," the Vulcan admitted, allowing himself to return the embrace.

"And about... Well... You know." He grimaced at the memory of the whole damn mission that had almost managed to ruin every relationship he had in a matter of hours. "Forget it. We were all acting like crazy today. You weren't yourself. I know you don't... I'm not... We're not like that. I could never replace him, we both know that. I also know that if I was in your shoes, so to speak, I would most likely have acted the same way."

Spock made a non-committal sound that reminded Kirk a bit of a dying whale.

"No, seriously," he laughed softly. "Forget it. We're friends. I'm not letting this ruin what we have. And if you're concerned about the other you..." He trailed off, unsure how much to tell him. "He already knows. And frankly, he isn't completely innocent either, so I'm guessing we'll be fine."

The Vulcan looked up at that, leaning back in the embrace to consider Jim with an assessing glance.

"Leila Kalomi?" he guessed, appearing to be mildly uncomfortable.

"How do you know about her?" Kirk asked suspiciously. "Don't tell me you went there too!"

"I must admit, I did," Spock said with faint guilt in his voice. "However, my Captain and I had not been involved at the time. I suspect this makes it a bit more... difficult than it was for us."

"It's... Just..." the human bit his lip in contemplation, "Just tell me one thing: did you love her?"

"No, Jim," the Ambassador told him softly. "There was only ever one illogical human I could bare to be around of indefinitely."

"Well, you've obviously recovered," the Captain snorted, ending their embrace in mock-indignation. "I have to talk to someone."

He stopped at the door and turned around with an uncertain look in his eyes.

"Er... You MIGHT wanna avoid Ambassador Sonak for a bit," he suggested mysteriously. "He doesn't seem to be in the best of moods."

#

Facing Spock was easier than he'd thought it would be. They were both still so young, they'd been in command of the Enterprise for less than a week, and yet Jim felt like they'd been doing this forever. They had already been through so much together, what was one more tricky situation, really?

"Spock," he sighed when he entered the Vulcan's room without announcing his presence. His partner didn't appear to be startled, looking at him expectantly from his meditation seat.

"Yes, Captain?" He raised an inquiring eyebrow while standing up and straightening his uniform.

"No, please," Jim waved him off. "This isn't official ship's business. Just you and me. Talking."

"Ah."

"Spock..."

"No, Jim," his partner interrupted him with a slight shake of his head. "Let me speak first, please. What happened on the planet's surface... I cannot ask you to forgive me. I understand that you wish to terminate our relationship. There is no need for you to explain yourself. It is well in your right."

"What?" Kirk frowned and took a step towards the blank-faced Vulcan. "I don't wish to terminate anything, except maybe my diet. Wait." He glared intently at the man in front of him. "Is that what you thought I wanted to talk about? Dumping you?"

"It seemed logical to assume you had decided my behaviour on the planet's surface was inexcusable, therefore prompting you to strive for a more appropriate relationship, with someone you deemed more worthy of your affection," Spock explained carefully. "Given the fact that the Ambassador would not only make a formidable partner, but also expressed his interest in your person already-"

"STOP," the Captain urged him, putting a cool hand on his lips to silence the rambling alien. "Is that what this is about? You think I secretly want the other you?" He frowned for a second. "At least I hope that was what you were implying. If you were referring to Sonak, I will shoot you out an airlock."

"Jim, if I may make a request," Spock said once his mouth was free of hands again. "I understand that the choice of a new partner is entirely up to you, and it is not my place to influence you, but I would appreciate if you did not choose Ambassador Sonak over me."

"I won't promise anything should you be idiotic enough to leave me – again," Kirk snorted and grabbed one of the Vulcan's hands. "However, we will never find out whom I would or would not date if I didn't have you." At that Jim stared intently at the man in front of him. "Right?"

Spock considered him for a moment before applying gentle pressure to the hand holding his.

"I must admit to some confusion," he frowned slightly. "You appeared to be understandably distressed at the doctor's revelation of my actions on the planet."

"Oh Spock," the Captain sighed and let go of the other's hand to let himself drop on the bed, shielding his exhausted face with one arm. "Have I ever told you that I find it adorable when you're clueless?"

"I fail to understand the humour in this situation," the Commander said indignantly when Kirk started chuckling on the mattress.

"Spock," the blond sighed, suddenly serious, sitting up on the bed to meet the other's gaze. "I'm not gonna leave you because some crazy chick under the influence of alien spores kissed you while you too were under the influence of some freaky alien spores. Have I stressed this enough? ALIEN SPORES." He held up a warning finger and squinted at his partner. "Should you ever initiate something or allow anyone who isn't me to get that intimate with you while you're in your right mind, I will feed you to the local fauna on Delta Vega, just so we're clear."

"Understood, Captain," Spock nodded in acknowledgement, taking a step towards the bed. "May I inquire about the encounter between you and..."

"Me and...?" Kirk laughed at the indignant look on the Vulcan's face. "Gee, I hope you have time if you wanna go through everyone who tried to molest me today." He leaned forward and grabbed the other's hands, effectively forcing him down on top of him on the bed. "Is it enough if I tell you that none of that mattered even the slightest bit to me and that I'm perfectly happy with the guy I'm currently seeing?"

"Perhaps," Spock said vaguely, purring almost inaudibly when Kirk started licking his ear, but the human heard it anyway. "However, I must ask... Ambassador Selek..."

"Spock," Jim mumbled against his neck, raising one of his hands to play with the Vulcan's hair. "You have to understand that the Ambassador is very lonely, and that I'm an almost perfect replica of his soulmate. Of course it's not easy, but I'm not the one he really wants, we all know that. And if you think for one second that I would choose anyone, even another version of you, over the real deal, I don't know where you've been these past months, because I thought I was being pretty obvious in my wishes."

"I apologize," Spock said lowly, nibbling his way up Kirk's neck. "I did not mean to give the impression of doubting you. I merely expected that after everything-"

"Stop," the Captain begged, tightening his grip on the Vulcan's hand. "I'm gonna say it one more time: I. Don't. Want. Anyone. Else. Okay? I'm perfectly content with being exactly where I am right now, believe me. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be here. Is that understood, Commander?"

"Affirmative," Spock breathed, finally closing the gap between their mouths, simultaneously applying gentle pressure to Jim's hand. The Captain groaned, taking advantage of the other's distraction, turning them around in one swift motion so he was lying on top of the Vulcan.

"Very good, Commander," he grinned. "I think a reward is in order."


End file.
